To "prefer" one race in a relationship?!

@maezee (32970)
United States
October 10, 2010 5:47pm CST
The idea for this discussion is not out of my personal opinion or feelings, it's about several conversations I've had with friends and co-workers recently. It really got me thinking, too. Does it make you "racist" to prefer one race in a relationship? To be attracted to ONE race and not the other? Or to NOT be attracted to ONE race? I don't know how I feel about this. Firstly, though, I was talking with buddy who is Hispanic, and said that he specifically likes Hispanic and White girls, and none other. I questioned him on this, although I had never really thought about it before. I think how it came up was because I was teasing him about having a girl roomie who I thought was really pretty. But, no, apparently she wasn't the right race for him. Or something. Whatever. (By the way, he's NOT racist, and I"ve known him forever). Another thing that got me thinking about this was when I was at work, working at this different, new store, and my co-worker asked me if I'd date a black guy (probably him, knowing how people are), and I said sure, why wouldn't I? and he replied, "some girls won't". Anyway, so here's the rest of my discussion. Is it RACIST to "prefer one race" in a relationship or love interest? Is it racist or wrong or unethical to only be ATTRACTED to one race? Is it possible, do you think? What do you think? I'm really curious because I have been thinking about this ever since. I honestly don't think I can say that I am attracted to one race more in particular than the other. I really can't. But what about you? And what do you think - have you ever heard someone say this?
3 people like this
10 responses
• Greece
11 Oct 10
I am only sexually attracted to white males. I actually like men that have very light colored skin, light hair, green/blue eyes and ideally, are gingers. I have never been attracted to any other race but I can't rule it out for the future. I certainly don't think it's racist though, since I could be friends with all races.
@maezee (32970)
• United States
11 Oct 10
Good point!
• United States
28 Oct 10
Morals and ethics can hardly be applied to something so physical as attraction. One's attraction to a certain shade of skin might be attributed to a simple preference, social conditioning, etc., but then it might just be a simple bias. Now if someone prefers Latinas and whites, but not blacks even if he/she has exactly the same color of skin as a Latina or white, then I could call it prejudiced. It doesn't particularly offend me. There are enough people out there who appreciate and love every color.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
18 Oct 10
I don't think so. It just makes you human. To have preferences and likes. Personally, I've seen children who are a mixture of mine and another race. I found them very beautiful, and I've seen some of them grow up into beautiful people. It makes me think of wanting to have children with that race so that I too could have beautiful children! Fortunately, my kids are already beautiful!
• Philippines
16 Oct 10
I don't think it is a bad thing to prefer a race when it comes to dating,as long as you aren't a racist when it comes to other things.an example is,I'm really into European guys.I would like to date European guys,but for other races,I can only be a friend.I have nothing against dating other races.my preference is to date Europeans,but I don't discriminate friendships with other races.
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
12 Oct 10
A particular man I met whilst working in Australia said he only liked dating white ladies with brown hair and blue or green eyes. He had friends that were black but he wouldn't have chosen a black girlfriend. I don't think that the man I described was racist. I know a man that is white with blue eyes and very white like blond hair. He is currently dating a black lady and they get on very well. I have known that guy's ex-girlfriends. One was white with blond hair and blue eyes. The one before that was white with dark brown hair and green eyes. I live in a multi cultural society. All skin colors can be found in London the capital city. I have a friend that came from Bangladesh and another friend that came from India. I married a man that was from Australia but we got divorced six years later. I am very keen on traveling and I like all different nationalities as friends.
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
11 Oct 10
I don't think it's racist at all. That's why it's called "preference". Some girls are attracted to "tall, dark & handsome" type. And some races, by default or by nature, they look like that. Well, may be not hadsome part but at least tall & dark part. Some people are attracted to other attributes. Certain race will be that way naturally than others. If you're attracted to guys with dark hair & dark eyes, you'll notice people with those attributes more. Asians, not the only ones, do have black hair & typically dark brown to black eyes by nature. That's the way they are born. Not that I'm saying you are solely interested in Asians but just to use it as an example... I'm Korean myself but I have never dated Asian girl. It's not that I planned it that way. I came over to U.S. when I was 13 years old. By the time I was old enough to date, I was going to the school with very few Asian students. I think we had 5 asian kids, including myself, & 2 of them were guys. That leaves me with a choice between 2 asian girls, at the time. I didn't find either of them attractive enough for me to consider dating them, physically & personality wise. It's not that I didn't find them atractive because they were asian girls, it was no different than any other person would or wouldn't find somebody attractive, or not attractive regardless of race. Well, that doesn't really leave me with much of a choice but to date outside of my race. I'm involved in an inter-racial relationship now. I have a mixed race daughter from a previous relationship. I wouldn't say I "prefer" other race than my own. It's just what I'm used to. Not being around enough asian people while growing up kindda robbed me of dating my own kind, I guess, lol... If I told you my favorite ethnic food is Italian, does that make me prejudice against other race? I don't wanna think so... It's just a preference.
@pecito (304)
• Bulgaria
11 Oct 10
I don't think it's racism but just a matter of taste.Some men prefer blondes,others prefer brunettes.Some girls prefer tall men,others short. It all depends on the personal perception of beauty.
@insulin (2483)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
I think it's not really racist but it depends in every person.I think there are really reason why not all the time we need to be in one race since we don't know how our life will run as we don't know what's in the future.For me,the only important thing is me and my partner will understand well and feel comfortable in each other since me and my fiancee is in different race but we really don't mind it.
@madteaparty (2761)
• Japan
11 Oct 10
Well, I'm dating a person from a different race than mine, and I have no problem with that as I find him attractive. However, I don't find attractive all races. Finding someone attractive has to do with the physical features, but I don't think that because of that if you don't feel attracted to some race you're automatically racist. I don't find anything racist about that, to tell you the truth. Some people feel attracted to short girls but not to tall girls, but that doesn't mean that person is discriminating tall girls. It's just that the physical features that finds attractive are ones but not others
• Portugal
11 Oct 10
yes is true^^ that can happen^^ im white/latina but i really love asian guys^^ is not that i am a racist^^ i always had more friends from other countries than actually portuguese ones^^ im from portugal^^ anyway i dont think is racist that you feel more attracted for one race than for another one^^ is not our fault if we feel that way^^ but treat someone bad just bcs isnt from your race then that is being a racist. i have friends of many races^^ indian, brazilian, portuguese, and online i have asian friends. near me i never had so sad :( but near me i always had friends that were black, white, indian and i loved them^^ i didnt care for their race at all. but about feeling attracted and have a lover i feel more attracted for asian guys^^ but doesnt mean that i cant date a white guy^^ just is our feelings and we cant control it^^ but absolutely we are not racist bcs of that^^ at all^^