My son isn't able to walk and this upsets him
By maximax8
@maximax8 (31053)
United Kingdom
October 19, 2010 1:46pm CST
I have a son that was born in May 2007 and then I have got a daughter that was born in June 2009. So they are two years and one month apart in age. My son has got spina bifida and hydrocephalus. His feet are deformed and he is unable to stand. I don't think that he will ever he able to walk. When he was a young baby he wasn't able to move. With all the exercises given he began to sit up by one year old. He developed a way to crawl in a combat style. Now he doesn't crawl around much at all. Two weeks ago my daughter, now 15 months, learned how to walk. I am so pleased that she is able to walk. I feel sorry for my son and think it hurts his feelings. He is trying to kneel up but he just crumbles to the ground. Today he tried out a wheelchair frame that is a standing frame. I really hope he gets it because then will feel like he is able to move himself around. He has an appointment for the wheelchair center next month. I wonder how I can make my son feel happy again. I have bought him some new clothes and toys. He screams a lot and is very miserable.
What do you think?
2 people like this
16 responses
@ajosh319 (100)
• Philippines
20 Oct 10
Sorry to hear about the condition of son. Spina bifida is a deformity in the spinal column and knowing the functions of our spinal column it is unlikely if can walk normally. But a simple way to make your son feel great is to boost his self esteem let him do things that you think he can do because it gives him the sense of fulfillment to do a task by himself. Do not make him feel that he can't do anything do not do all the things for him give him some independence in that way he can feel better about his self.
@ajosh319 (100)
• Philippines
21 Oct 10
Thank you chiumee. As a health care provider I encounter different people, different personalities, different style of coping on their disability but I don't encourage them to depend on me, I encourage them to live there life and to depend on there selves.
@marguicha (215428)
• Chile
21 Nov 10
Hi maxine,
It is such a pity that Leo should be so upset by his sister´s learning to walk, although it was to be expected.
Is there a way that he could recieve some sort of psychological help so that he can cope with that fact and accept that, much as he cannot walk, he is no less besutiful than his sister?
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
23 Oct 10
I think he needs to meet and be friends with other kids around his age with similar circumstances.
I had a friend with Spina Bifida. She had many operations in order for her to walk. She spent most of her life in a hospital. She's also very spoiled and wants everything her way. She's on her second husband. No matter what path you choose to take, it won't be easy.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Oct 10
I find it hard enough to explain to my son (who has autism) why his twin sister is a year ahead of him in school. Good luck.
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
20 Oct 10
Well, maxima, I think all you need to do, is to gave your time to your son so that he can felt the importance and your love .Sometimes, people like him are feel pity to themselves. Just look at him always and need your attention. You may bring him to the Zoo or either the place that kids wanted.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
22 Oct 10
It is very sad. That all he see is the difference between him and his sister. And not being able to understand all of it yet. That although he may be challenged, he still have a full life ahead. He's just taking a different route.
I just wish you more patience. So that he'll come to this realization sooner. And know that he has loving parents always there to support him.
@chiumee (850)
• Philippines
20 Oct 10
i am feeling what you feel actually. i am a physical therapist and i know how hard to rehabilitate this case. we usually advise also to put some braces or splints to let the person function better. you may find good advice in a hospital with "physical medicine and rehabilitation" section where people who work in that department are oriented to dealing with these cases. i cannot possibly let you understand what things to be done just through here.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
20 Oct 10
Dear friend,
I feel like to be with your son, make him happy, also see him enjoying life. Moreover I feel in life there is lot other things to enjoy, there are people worse than all of us. I feel that never go down thinking all those, we are here still our mind is with us everywhere. We can make our self happy with lots of other things to do. Moreover I am sure with proper treatment and exercise it is sure to give better results. 
@katkat (2378)
• Philippines
20 Oct 10
Its sad but one thing I learned from dealing with PAD(persons with disability)is not to feel sorry for them rather encourage them to be part of a society, to be productive. If your son learned to crawl, he will learn how to walk. Therapy really helps a lot.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
20 Oct 10
I feel so sad to read about your son's case. Although he is not
able to walk now,but it does not mean in future,he has no hope.
NOwadays, medical assistance is so advanced and why don't you bring him
to some specialist to cure and have some physical exercise for his bone
and muscle. I believe the expert trainer is able to guide him in the
right way.
Be it what happened, try to spent more time with your son and he just
feel sad because he is trying hard to stand up and walk,but he is not
able to do it.Telling him that he sure can make it one day. Always give him
an encouragement and never let him feel out from your cares.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
20 Oct 10
I feel so sad to read about your son's case. Although he is not
able to walk now,but it does not mean in future,he has no hope.
NOwadays, medical assistance is so advanced and why don't you bring him
to some specialist to cure and have some physical exercise for his bone
and muscle. I believe the expert trainer is able to guide him in the
right way.
Be it what happened, try to spent more time with your son and he just
feel sad because he is trying hard to stand up and walk,but he is not
able to do it.Telling him that he sure can make it one day. Always give him
an encouragement and never let him feel out from your cares.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
20 Oct 10
Hi,
I feel so sad to read about your son's case. Although he is not
able to walk now,but it does not mean in future,he has no hope.
NOwadays, medical assistance is so advanced and why don't you bring him
to some specialist to cure and have some physical exercise for his bone
and muscle. I believe the expert trainer is able to guide him in the
right way.
Be it what happened, try to spent more time with your son and he just
feel sad because he is trying hard to stand up and walk,but he is not
able to do it.Telling him that he sure can make it one day. Always give him
an encouragement and never let him feel out from your cares.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
19 Oct 10
I am guessing that he is starting to notice he is different. My son noticed at about the same age, but was able to use a walker. Now he cannot do that. We are going to the doctors in November as they want to do a surgery to rebuild his feet. They pull in and are contracted, if he tries to stand it is on the sides of his feet. I definitely know how you feel. Feel free to contact me if you need to talk or just vent a bit.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
19 Oct 10
This is quite to hear and I am sorry to hear this as it has to be really frustrating as children his age are so ready to run around.
I am wondering if you have a special group you can sign up with your son so that they can teach you and him some special activities to pre-occupy some time and or also interact with other children his age that perhaps have the same condition.
Please try and search on the net for a place in your community that may be helpful with this as he will need to learn as he grows older to cope with this as well as the entire family.
Again I am very sorry to read this and blessings to him and your family.
