helicopter parenting

November 5, 2010 4:36pm CST
I have just been told that I am under-parenting. Am I? I am aware that I am not a helicopter parent....but I dont leave my child at home alone, or ignore her for huge lengths of time. I generally know where she is and what she is doing. I do however encourage independence and expect her to get dressed on her own and go to the toilet on her own. I mean she is two! I like to encourage her to make her own decisions and experience the consequences. Is this under-parenting?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
21 Nov 10
If it is working for both you and for your daughter, then I don't think that it is underparenting at all. However, if you seem to see that there are areas where your daughter needs more of your attention than you are giving to her, I would view that as underparenting. Something else that is important for all people to understand is that each and every child is very individual. That means that what worked for you and your daughter is probably not going to be something that will work for other parents and their children.
• Canada
8 Nov 10
Your job as a parent is to help your child become a responsible, happy adult. By the time she is an adult, she will need to be able to do everything by herself! Since every child is different, there is no age that we can say "your child must do this or must do that" that will fit every child. If your child can handle the responsibilities she has, like dressing herself and going to the toilet, you are doing just fine! Too many people coddle their children nowadays. I am so sick of seeing 4 year olds in diapers -- in my opinion, unless your child has a bladder condition or learning disorder that makes it difficult for them, you are just lazy if your 4 year old is in diapers. Yes, it can be difficult to toilet train, but do you want to be wiping your kid's butt when he's a teenager?
@doormouse (4619)
6 Nov 10
i've never heard of helicopter parenting so don't know what that means,but from what you've said you are doing fine,you are being the best mum you can be,your child is fed and watered,clothed and in good health,and most importantly loved,,so why do you question yourself,you're doing great
@pastigger (618)
• United States
6 Nov 10
I am not sure what helicopter parent means, I have never heard that. Good for you that at two she can dress and go potty by herself. My daughter is three and she can but sometime I just have the time to wait for her to do it herself. I usually am in the bathroom with her as she like to wonder and sometimes gets into things. My daughter was actually better at listening when she was two now she is starting to learn that if she doesn't do what I ask she doesn't get to do things. Like last night I asked her to go potty before we went somewhere she decided to lay at the bottom and the stairs and cry so I went with out her, she got to stay with daddy. First thing this morning she tells me mommy I am going to go potty next time. My daughter has always been pretty independent which is good and bad in its own. I don't think that you are under parenting you are teaching her to do things for herself and there is nothing wrong with that. I will admit that sometimes I am a push over and get excited if she does ask me for help.
@ravend (661)
• Malta
5 Nov 10
Dear LouGreen. YOU are the parent. YOU know what is good or bad for your children. YOU control. Others do not live in YOUR situation. Hope this helped. =)