create good relations.

I would find a time when you and your mother-in-law are alone and you can talk to her and tell her how you feel in as tactful a way as you can(think what you will say and how you will say it before hand)and hope for the best. Probably best to do it early in the day or at a time when you feel she will be at her best and not tired, cranky or unable to think clearly. Good luck to you!

Sorry to hear fo your mother in law problems. Maybe you can have a heart to heart talk with her. Tell her how you feel just like you did with us here. Suggest maybe sometimes you can cook instead of her. Or maybe you can do the clean up after. Talk to her ask her waht she wants you to help with.

I don't know. different cultures handle things like this differently. I know you are staying in her home, however I would sit down and ask her what can you do to better the relationship you have with her. see if that helps

well, that's really the problem with some mother-in-law. They are not lovable with there son wife. I think you need more time to sacrifice to build a good relationship with your mother-in-law...Be courteous all the time so that she can realize that she is mistakenly identify as not good being a daughter in law

my My religion teaches me about create a good relation to all. and that called tri hita karana. tri hita karana divided into three part.part one human with god, part two human with human and the last part human with environment. and we make a offerings for an environment beside human. i hope you can evacuate immediately.

I don't understand why she would be so passive aggressive. Although I only know you from the internet, you seem like a very kind woman. The best advice I could offer is just to keep praying to God to soften her heart and keep trying your best. I know that it will become taxing and it is so easy to give up and just return hostility when it's due, but God is good and His love endures forever, so be patient and wait on Him. I sincerely hope that her heart is changed toward you and you two are able to create the best of relations. My heart and prayers go out to you!

Quit guessing and ask, What can I do to make this situation more comfortable for all of us. Who knows what she imigines. Maybe she is afraid this condition will remain permenant. One never knows exactly what goes on in another's mind. Blessings

This is one of those situations that has no easy resolution except for you to leave and that is not possible at present. I don’t know what is upsetting these folks; they are clearly not comfortable with another woman living with them. I wonder if you could start a conversation with them kindly explaining to them how much you appreciate being able to stay with them under these dire conditions and that you noticed some resentment and would they please explain what you can do to make the situation better for everybody.

first i wanna say, iam sad hear your sad news...but i do hope you can be tough girl... but i believe that merapi maybe had a good effect for some of us...maybe can make or good your relationship with your family...

hi indahfth, these natural calamities displaces a lot of people and the comforts of your own home. i can imagine your situation and i know sometimes that you feel that you are on the verge of erupting too. i am very impressed that you have kept your cool while your mother in law treats you like that. i remember myself when i once had to stay with a relative for several days, and was eating with them, i heard these words although my cousin wasnt pointing a finger at me directly - "leave something for the dogs". that really hurts you know. i understand also that because you do not have the means, you are forced to just be mum about it and not question or complain. just be helpful and cheerful and communicate with them. dont stay in one corner like a frightened dog when your mom stares at you. be helpful in the house in anyway you can. i love the advise of hardworkinggurl. sometimes reverse psychology really is a good way for others to think back and think hard. i wish you well in everything and i hope your child gets well very soon. ann

How unfortunate indahfth that while you are all trying to recover from this disaster that you have to deal with such displeasure. I know this feeeling very well as I too have felt like this at one time. I understand that you can not say anything because of your caring nature and being appreciative that they took you in at a time like this. It is hard to open up to them as they will not be please. The only thing I can suggest is that you try really hard to keep to yourself and not allow them to continually hurt you. Someday if the time is right and they are open to discussion you may want to say, oh wait matter of fact the day you do leave to go back home. Kindly say I thank you for your kind hospitality, I understand that you feel I have inconvenience you, I did not mean to as this truly was not my purpose. Believe me indahfth you going to make them think, about how not so nice they were to you. They may not ever tell you to your face that they are sorry. But you will leave them feeling guilty. I am one that when someone hurts I do not retaliate I treat them with kindness and usually that will hurt because one day they will think wow I was mean while she has always been so nice. Good luck indahfth and I hope you can return back to your home soon, as I understand how uncomfortable you must be.

Your in a hard situation, i only hope things get better and hope that you soon get somewhere else to live, you should not feel as though you are not wanted but they should not make you feel like this, you try to do things and it seems tha they aren't happy, maybe it is best to just try and keep out of there way. i have had a similar thing like this and the in laws really did hate me though.

u r doing the right think thinking this way may god bless u

For Good Communication with your in laws, it would be nice if the talk is right, and one patient only whant you can do pray to god for in laws can be aware that there is a law that need to be noticed thanks Dedi http://www.de-newsletter.co.cc

It's really very tough time for you I think. I am really sad to hear all your story and your relationship with you law. So in my country there is proverb regarding it ...which tell us to maintain all relationship without any need for that in present time...who knows when we are going to need that. Regarding your question to improve your relationship with relatives...I will only say that ... if your are good from your heart and always think good for others and behaving in same manner ... then it may it will take time ....but your ruined relationship is also going to be good .. Try in thid ...and you will must get reward ... Thanks ..:)

I am sorry you are not happy, but I am glad to hear you are safe. As for your step mother-in-law? I had one and they can be very hard to get along with, especially if she also has children and grandchildren. The only advice I can give you is to talk to her, see how she feels about you being there and let her know that you want to help out whenever you can. Not that it will help, I tried this and the answer I got was, "No, we have it all under control, we don't need help." But it might work for you, I hope that helps..:)

Hi indahfth, These kind of situations often cause problems. I'm sorry that you had to evacuate and that your child is ill. Since we cannot change others,we can only try to change ourselves. I went through a similar situation many years ago and found it very difficult. Be yourself and try to remain positive, although I know it's difficult. It is best to say little unless it is helpful. Compliment your Mother-in-law when you can - if her cooking is good tell her so. If you are asked to do something, do it gladly, if she doesn't want you to help, stay out of the way. I hope you will have your own home again soon. Blessings

my condolence for your inconvenient. even your mother in law unhappy, u can help her in other way, like mopping the floor or cleaning the glasses. or maybe you can buy her some fruits or cake. i hope you and your mother in law could make a good relationship

In-laws are really monsters...:) I was having also a difficulty dealing my in-laws. I keep distance with them all the times. As long that my husband is on my side, I feel secured and protected that my in-laws can never touched me...:)

This type of situation is very difficult to cope with and in our society this type of example are common where in laws dont feel comfortable. As over here you have to live for few days and you have to go back to your home, so try to realize her that you are just a guest and you are going back. I think conversation between you too can make some difference in relation, try to go to her room or sit with her and talk on some general topics of her interests, this ll open doors of good relations, and when you saw her busy in the kitchen, just go to her and try to speak with her and praise her for her cooking and style and clothing etc. You know how to praise a women or how a women feel happy or on what things. So try to do all this with her. It does not make any difference if you praise her or not but your relation ll become good and you ll feel better to live for some days, as your health is important for your son and your family....:) Happy Lotting.