A Boy Trapped in a Man's Body

Philippines
December 12, 2010 1:43am CST
At the age of 38 he looks like a mature person.There are already signs of aging in his face and body, wrinkled skin, balding head and too much excess mass. But, despite of his physical form, he is full of insecurities: unstable job though he is already permanent in his job but there's no assurance if he'll last there or the organization will last,financially unstable (no savings still), no college degree to back him up if he wanted to pursue another career,and so on. At a slightest sight of trouble, he whines, he trembles and beg for help to whoever he thinks can help, even at the expense of his relationship... even hurting the people who trust and love him. He thinks that he can gain security when he has all the money he wants.He can only see the future with bright enthusiasm when he has money... Oh, he is a boy trapped in a man's body , offer him material things, spoil him with love and attention and he will cling to you. Not thinking that he, too, has responsibilities to care and must show love as well...
1 person likes this
8 responses
@saphrina (31744)
• South Africa
12 Dec 10
Hi sweetie. Whoever that is has a lot to learn still in life. Strange at that age that it didn't dawn to him that he has to have all those yet. TATA.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Dec 10
Hi, Saphy.:) A late bloomer, perhaps, dear. He had fun times when he was younger. Took for granted the opportunity of getting a good education. Instead of acting maturely about his troubles, he acts like a scared child... Yup, he needs to learn to be a man and I believe ,he will learn it the hard way...
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31744)
• South Africa
12 Dec 10
The hard way is best, but a really shocking awakening as well. Hope he will be able to handle that.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Dec 10
I'm not sure, Saphy, if he will ever grow up. I can only hope and pray that at least he will be sensitive enough as a real man when it comes to his responsibilities as a father and as a husband. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Dec 10
He should fix himself, if you ask me. Money is important but it's not the only thing that matters. He should see the world much clearer than what he's seeing now. Maybe there's something that clouds his vision and needs to be taken off.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Dec 10
Someone has to make him realize that.His friends feeding his ego is not doing good to his growing up. They are thinking that he is the best person , well, maybe, for them because they haven't experienced being with him during the tough times.
@chaselee (240)
• Philippines
12 Dec 10
Sometimes people are just like that not just for guys. Its possible that hes just the selfish and carefree kind of guy that only think about himself. Why not try to talk to him and hope that he realizes his mistakes? That might work.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Dec 10
Yes, I believe that every one has that little child inside and I don't see anything wrong about it. It makes us feel happier in most times.:) However, if that little child inside overwhelms the mature person that we should , it is then becomes a concern... I do agree that this kind of person is a little selfish and self centered. And talking to him won't work. Unless, he will experience a situation wherein he needs to wake up the man inside him. Sometimes, it could be a very painful situation....
@sid556 (31030)
• United States
13 Dec 10
He Eurekafemme, Sounds like a typical case of "Gilligan's Syndrome" or better known as "Peter Pan" syndrome. You see it in woman too but more often in men, I think. I hope this is not your husband you are describing here Eurekafemme! They are not much fun to live with.
• Philippines
13 Dec 10
Hi, Sid.:) I don't mind pampering my husband and treating him like a child if only he deserves it. :( Yes, there's a child in all of us, I believe but when that child is the dominant character in us , then it is going to be living in a crazy life. It is not fun at all especially when you are expecting him to act manly but he can't deliver but instead whine and hide in the comfort of another woman's skirt...LOL
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31030)
• United States
13 Dec 10
Oh I know just what you mean. I have dated "men" like that. If I'm way stronger than the guy then it just isn't going to work. I think the key word that you used is "dominant character". I think we all need to lean on each other from time to time and we need a helping hand here and there but when I'm pulling all my weight and some guys as well then its time to go on a relationship diet.
• Philippines
18 Dec 10
Very well said, Sid.:) It is true. sometimes it is so tiring to always put up with a man child. It is not healthy for the relationship, either because when you need a real mature man, he isn't there. That boy in him thinks that he deserves all the pampering and nurturing he is getting... How do you do or get your relationship diet? Any special ingredient? :)
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (42540)
• Delhi, India
15 Dec 10
Hi eureka! You portrayed a real picture of the man, who appears trapped in man's body. I feel that if one is selfish and does not show any selfless attitude and compassion for others, s/he will not be liked/tolerated by others for long.
• Philippines
18 Dec 10
Well, he has suffered, too, from this. Lost the respect of some who used to trust him, as well, as their friendship. Sometimes,it made me wonder what will it take for such man to grow up... Have a great day, my dear.:)
@dpk262006 (42540)
• Delhi, India
20 Dec 10
I am afraid, these kind of men rarely grow up!
@bokal2703 (757)
• Philippines
13 Dec 10
Those men do exist, eurekafemme. And yes, truly it is immaturity that is hugging the personality of such man. He tends to be too excited about one thing at a moment, then loses interest the next minute. In jobs, when he hear things that are not favorable to him, or if he is scolded or being taught by the boss, he takes it offensively and leave work, resigned or just do things to avoid it. Just like a child who takes parent's advice at the wrong way, he feels violated and experiencing unfair treatment. And yes, he finds happiness with money, thinking that it is what life is all about, that things can be settled and life can be rearranged through financial supremacy. It is hard to see such person, and yet just like a mother to her child, we still tend to long to nurture and care for him...thinking that he will grow fully in time...
• Philippines
18 Dec 10
You have best describe such man child, Bokal.:) What can I say? You have spoken the truth... Sometimes, we also have ourselves to blame. We tend to pamper and nurture them so much because we think that by doing so they will appreciate us and they will know how much they meant to us... Crazy but silly love we give, isn't it? I think we should be less tolerating when it comes to such men or else we are going to continuously feed their egos which is not good for them,too.
@bird123 (10101)
• United States
12 Dec 10
If this boy doesn't know something is wrong, why would he ever attempt to change?? Sometimes to change others, we must change ourselves.
• Philippines
13 Dec 10
That is exactly the problem. Because he is too childish to think that there is nothing wrong with him and that he deserves all the pampering he gets...Not caring about how and what others feel... I do agree with you though, that one must lead a good example if he/she desires to change someone for the better, too.:)
• Australia
17 Feb 11
hi eurekafemme, i been searching the web to find some answers or someone like me and i think i found one. im 32 and i too also feel like a a boy trap in a men body. i never took school seriously, never went to university, i work where in jobs that i dont like often in low pay work. i feel like im in my 20s even though i have bills to pay and stuff which i do but most of the time i feel young and people around tell me that im a kid not a men. i sometime get spoil by my partner like buying xbox games but i dont like it bcos it feel like im a kid. i hate when my partner nag me bcos it feel like being yell by my mother. where ever i go to a house kids seem to respond to me like im one of their own but other adults seem me immature but weird i feel more comfortable with people who are young and older. im tired of this life and want to turn my life around just dont know how? so if one day your partner change would you let me know how he did it so i can change also. thank you for reading this.