Difference between flirting & being nice?

@maezee (19109)
United States
December 31, 2010 11:47am CST
I feel like I have a hard time telling the difference between when a person is flirting versus just being nice. One example is just that I was at work yesterday and I guess the girl I was working with thought this guy was flirting with me. And I was thinking..No! He wasn't. He just seemed like he was being very nice and friendly. I am usually so good at reading people, but in this case, I really can't seem to. How can you tell the difference between flirting and just being nice/friendly? Where is the line to be drawn?
2 people like this
13 responses
• United States
31 Dec 10
That's a pretty gray area. I think it's up to interpretation. It's east for being nice to be mistaken as flirting and vice versa. If you find the "line" point it out to me please. Also if your not interested in the person being nice you might not consider that they were flirting.
1 person likes this
@maezee (19109)
• United States
31 Dec 10
LOL Exactly. Because I rarely pay attention to customers like THAT, it's hard for me to even notice such thing until a co-worker points it out. But besides at work, I feel like this is something I would like to know, just with meeting guys in general, yanno?
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 10
Yea most people that are at work are thinking about how they don't want to be there, what they are going to to when they leave, or what they are currently doing. Few people that are actually working have time to worry about that.
1 person likes this
@Graceekwenx (3169)
• Philippines
31 Dec 10
Happy New Maezee! This is a nice topic! I was reading this while eating popcorn. I couldnt tell the difference between flirting and being nice either.
1 person likes this
@crazyjp (109)
• United States
31 Dec 10
I am a guy who has talked to girls all my life , and I have had some girls think I was flirting. I would say to to be hasty in thinking that it might be a flirt. There are guys who can talk with out flirting .
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
31 Dec 10
A guy who is flirting will be looking you up and down, and will constantly be looking at your ring finger. He will try to make you jealous, and make eye contact...and you will totally melt!!
1 person likes this
@TheWebGuy (244)
• United States
31 Dec 10
The laughing and smiling is said to be a big difference when it becomes flirting. Also constant eye contact and excuses to touch or see you as much as possible. You can always ask someone if you are comfortable and go about it the correct way.
1 person likes this
• India
31 Dec 10
Flerting boys are always behave very nice and soft. They will organise their plan and gradually impliment on girls.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17555)
• Canada
3 Jan 11
Got not clue what the difference is either! But I just wanted to put in that maybe the reason you're having a hard time figuring out the difference is that because you work in customer service. That being nice is part of the job. So sometimes it isn't so obvious. Now, if he left a phone number...
@maezee (19109)
• United States
4 Jan 11
Even beyond that, and more in a general sense, how can you tell?! People are so confusing! Ugh! lol
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
Hello there. Sometimes, it is difficult to see if a person is flirting or not especially when we have no intention of flirting with him/her either. Flirting is just all a state of mind. The way you interpret things based on the actions of such person towards you, take note of the gestures like brushing your fingers or arms from time to time, the stares, etc. And even the words he is using. Take note, too of those sugar coated words thrown in your way like complimenting you always and trying to allure you with his words. I'll share to you a link of a real conversation between the person I know of and the woman he was trying to flirt. This is a real conversation, unedited. I hope you can learn something from here. http://webupon.com/social-networks/friendly-networking-or-mushy-flirting/
@ybong007 (6660)
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
There's nothing with flirting as both of the parties are free. Your friend is just probably jealous by the attention your getting from the other guy. A relationship has to start from somewhere and flirting is just one of them. It's best to trust your instinct on this besides if the guys is attracted to you he would most likely send signals to you in the form of flirting.
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
Me too, I dunno the difference between flirting and nice, but perhaps i believe that men are normally flirt and so they have to be nice to girls. But us girls were more on our emotions so we might think that the guy is flirting but he's not maybe his just being cool and nice..:)
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
1 Jan 11
Hi, From my point of view, I would say that being nice does not contain any motive on getting near to each other,touch each other. but when come to flirting, it does have a direct skin contact with each other or those intimate eye contact.
@sender621 (14970)
• United States
1 Jan 11
Flirting usually has a hidden agenda behind it. We usually don't flirt without a purpose in mind. Being nice does not cost us anything. We can be nice without expecting anything in return, When we flirt, we like to have the feeling returned.
• United States
1 Jan 11
Maezee- I sometimes have difficulty knowing if someone is flirting with me as well. I think at times I've missed opportunities because I've thought that a guy was just "being nice". My husband has told me in the past that there is the physical where a man will make an excuse to "touch" you via your face or what have you to show he's interested. I suppose I'd need to know the details to run it past him. He's the one who always picks up when men are flirting with me when we're out. I do know that I did catch flirting it was a situation where the gentleman became very flustered. He couldn't get the order straight, smiled a lot, and had trouble counting back my change to me. (This same fellow on another trip gave me extra items because he felt my order took too long. Very much flirting). Namaste-Anora