Being Forced As Someone Else In The Society

@JohnMach (556)
Philippines
January 22, 2011 6:24am CST
Hello myLot members! As you can see, I am a newbie here and I just wanna greet everyone and welcome them to my discussion. So here goes... Have you ever encountered an environment where people are forcing you to be who they want you to be and not who you want to be? Peer pressure is like a quicksand. The more you struggle, the more it sucks you in and the best way to get out of it is to relax and move out slowly. Peer pressure is no different. All you have to do is keep cool and ignore what they're telling you. The more you struggle with whatever they're trying to instill in your personality, the more they'll force it in you. This is true in dealing with whatever social group you're in right now. I'm experiencing this that's why I know what it is. How about you? Have you ever encountered a situation where everyone wants you to be someone else and not be yourself simply because they perceive your true self to be false?
2 people like this
5 responses
• India
22 Jan 11
We all are forced to be someone else by many in our life. It starts with our parents when they want us to be a better human so they put some restrictions on us and dont allow what we wanna be. Sometimes even the people we are with most of the time, say your friends brings those compulsions where in you cant be the person you are but have to be the person they want. Last but not the least, relationships! I dont think i to describe it. So its alright if we cannot be ourselves everytime, it depends on us at last.
2 people like this
• Philippines
23 Jan 11
you are right, we are forced by many people in our life,but in the end,we are still the one who will decide on it because we are the driver of our life.whatever will be our decision today,will be our future.so we have to weigh everything first before we decide. we are facing crisis right now,so we have to be wise and be practical.we should use our money wisely.we should not be affected by beautiful inventions.we should buy things in accordance to priority.
1 person likes this
@JohnMach (556)
• Philippines
24 Jan 11
I know full well that my parents just want the best for me but when it comes to making my own decision, I want it to be mine mostly. There are some people who think they can manipulate you into making your own decision though and those are the people I'm very much repelled from. I hate hanging out with know-it-alls. For me they're just a bunch of jerks. I joined a fraternity during college years and there are a lot of them. I still hang out with some of them but during meetings, I tend to just pass.
@ladym33 (11009)
• United States
27 Feb 11
First off let me welcome you to mylot. I hope you enjoy your time here. I had pressure like that in Junior High and High School, probably more Junior High then High School because by the time was in 11th grade I really didn't care what people thought that much any more. I remember being told I couldn't date certain people because they would ruin my reputation or where certain things. I had a lot of popular friends and they wanted all of their friends to conform to certain behaviors so that we would all remain popular. Like I said though by 11th grade I decided I would be my self and didn't care any more about such silly advice and rules.
@JohnMach (556)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
This is the main thing I'm talking about. Being with friends, they would want you to be like them. For example, if they all wanted a certain band, they will expect you to want that band too. This isn't how you're supposed to be yourself. In my opinion, you'll only be yourself if you're alone that's why I love my wife. She allows me to be myself and just go around the gaming store and look for newly released games for Playstation 2. Lol
@JohnMach (556)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
This is the main thing I'm talking about. Being with friends, they would want you to be like them. For example, if they all wanted a certain band, they will expect you to want that band too. This isn't how you're supposed to be yourself. In my opinion, you'll only be yourself if you're alone that's why I love my wife. She allows me to be myself and just go around the gaming store and look for newly released games for Playstation 2. Lol
@kiran8 (15369)
• Mangalore, India
25 Feb 11
Hi John, such a thing happens all the time in life. Everybody expects you to behave like themselves and be like themselves. Given a chance and if it is possible they will completely change your personality . I have seen this happen with nit only myself but with others as well, so much so that it irritates me when people comment and say ' she is different to us or he is not like us ' - why should an individual be like another person?a carbon copy ?..
@JohnMach (556)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
I think it's because it makes them feel comfortable seeing people like them. This is not a very good thing if you ask me.
@Hatley (163820)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Jan 11
hi john while I have always been shy Iam also a bit of a maverick as I would notlet peoplemold me into what they thought I should be. In college a classmate of mine tried to force me to be a snob like she and the membersof her sorority were.well I was interviewed as a prospecgt and I guess I just did not answer their questions correctly as i was not pledge and I realized I did not want to be a member of this very snobbish sorority at all. I belonged to the large commoners club as we called ourselves and i was very comfortable with others who were all their own persons.
@JohnMach (556)
• Philippines
24 Jan 11
That's the right move, Hatley. Don't join groups that forces you to be someone you're not. I joined a fraternity but this frat isn't really that strict after you're already in. I like hanging out with some of the members but there are also some who forces their decisions on you like you can't make your own.
@rberon1985 (5394)
• Philippines
22 Jan 11
First and foremost "kababayan",welcome t he community.it's good that you have chosen this site to share your skills and talent in writing.you will learn a lot of things in the site.i a am already three years old here.and i am very addicted in the site.members are very friendly and very approachable. anyway,regarding your concern,i have also experience it when i was in college. the whole family members wants me to take Education as my course in college. teaching children is not really my interest.i am pond of children but no patience in teaching them.you know what i did,i hide at the back of our house.but nothing happens,they still insisted what they want.unfortunately, i graduated with the course they initiated.in the end,i realize that what they want is for my own betterment.after graduation,i still did not follow what they want.i enter in the call center indusrty.
@JohnMach (556)
• Philippines
24 Jan 11
That situation is common in our culture. Parents want us to take a course which we have no interest of. I took up fine arts though, which was the one I wanted and my parents were neutral about it. They were neither repulsed nor leaning towards it. Nice pick if you ask me.