Snooping on a lover or teen?! (A rant)

United States
February 17, 2011 8:38pm CST
Do you think it is proper to snoop on a lover? How about your teen? Would you go throught their cell phones or their email? Their diary? I would Never do that. it shows that you do not trust them. And after they find this out , how could they ever be close to you ever again? How could they Trust you ever again?I think the more you snoop , the further away your love or child will become. And soon , Real soon they will never trust you. I know one Needs to know where a teen is . And that one must know if a lover is All yours , but to snoop. I think the minute you start to snoop , All is lost. Your thoughts.
2 people like this
8 responses
• United States
18 Feb 11
Snooping is not healthy in either doing so with the kids and or relationships. There are consequences that come with the end result. If snooping is done and the person is innocent, that is going to hinder the relationship. If the snooping is done and the real truth comes out, one must be preparedd with the results and how to go about handling it. My suggestion would be to simply ask, if the person lies and the truth comes out later then one has to use their judgment on how to handle all issues and or punishment.
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Feb 11
Admittedly, I've struggled with this too. I've often caught myself about to... Luckily I come to my senses. And I give my head a shake and ask out loud (yep! really loud) 'what am I doing?!' I think it's just my insecurities trying to get over me. Insecurity vs. sense.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Feb 11
So Sense beats out Insecurity. That is great! You just have to keep saying to yourself , my partner/spouse/lover Loves me or they wouldn't be with me.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I probably did snoop when the kids were home and it never affected our relationship...in fact I wish I had done more snooping where my son was concerned so maybe I could have headed off some of the problems he confronted! None of my kids ever held it against me. If I was suspicious of a spouse and I asked them what the heck they were up to and got no answers...I might do some snooping. I really don't think all is lost....
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Feb 11
With a lover , once you feel you Have to snoop , all trust is gone and once that goes, All is lost.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
18 Feb 11
Everyone does deserve to have their privacy. Different considerations have to come into play when it comes to children. The teenage years are the ones that determine a big part of your life. To keep teens safe for both parent and child, a little snooping is sometimes called for.
@monty21 (119)
• India
18 Feb 11
I don't like it that anybody snoop on me. The reason is i don't snoop on anybody. It is like a cheap behavior and i avoid these things in my life. My thinking is live and let live. Anyone should do other things rather than snoop on anybody. I agree with you completely that anybody start to snoop, all is lost.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 11
I wonder if the parents that snoop , were spyed on when they were youung?
• China
18 Feb 11
It is a problem of moral character.If you are in another's shoes how you would feel.If so The lovers don't confide in each other,moreover "what is done by night appears by day."You will bring shame on yourself soon.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 11
Plus ruin a good relationship. If a teen Hasn't done anything wrong and yet their parent snoops and the teen finds out, There goes the trust and therefore the relationship. It is sad.
• Canada
18 Mar 11
The only way I would ever do that would be if I was 100% sure I was going to find something, and needed evidence for something, not just because i was curious, nosy, or just a snoop. In the case of a parent who knows their teen is involved in illegal behaviour, and only needs the proof, then it's one thing. Same with a lover whom you KNOW is cheating, but in the case of one who is just distrustful by nature, it's not OK at all.
1 person likes this
@rposta07 (240)
• United States
19 Feb 11
Well, snooping on a lover is never a good idea in my opinion. this greatly hurts relationships. As you said, it causes the trust to be completely lost. Also, it seems to almost always cause the person doing the snooping to become even more suspicious and to take every little thing in the wrong way. Bad idea! However, snooping on a teen may be okay in certain situaions. If you have a teenage child and there is reason to believe that they may be engaging in dangerous activities, this may e helpful. however, if you snoop on them just to keep tabs on them or to try to catch them in a lie, this could definitely hurt the relationship.