You ruined my day at work

Philippines
March 8, 2011 4:58am CST
How would you feel when someone approached you early morning before work telling you things you did not expect to hear? You started your day with a smile, a light make-up on and a well-groomed hair when suddenly a person (might be your workmate) saying: " You have big bags" in front of your colleagues. Then you trying to control the situation, politely answered "I slept very late last night". But then the person insist ( is it because of your make-up?" Similarly, how would you react when somebody looked at you face to face and telling you " There is something wrong with your hair...not the usual" with other people hearing what she says. Then you stopped and said, " I'll fix it after duty. She then replied, " No, there is really something unusual on your hair..it's dry? In my opinion, criticism cannot be denied and it hurts being criticized in front of people. But then, this will be the only way we can change. However, criticism comes in different ways considering the manner it was delivered. Is it being sarcastic on you trying to ruin a person's would have been a beautiful morning? I mean, the approach is pretty dumb embarrassing when you want other people to hear how you criticize in front of the person. Can you give me your views?
9 responses
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
8 Mar 11
I think people who "criticize" like this should be more careful about how and when they do it. Not always the timing is good no matter whether they had really good intentions or just to spoil our day. Each one of us can have plenty of reasons to look "weirdly" in other people's eyes, but it doesn't justify making a note in front of colleagues or friends. Some people are a bit more unstable than others and may take even an innocent note about their look very deeply and this might turn into a big problem. They can even feel humiliated even if there's no reason for that. The best thing to do is accept such notes with a smile no matter how hurt we are because it's not good to show other people our weak spots.
• Philippines
8 Mar 11
Yes, you're right and i thanked you for the advice:) You know what, i was able to react and told her that her skin is dry. It's not right but i just want her to realize what would she feel if it turns back to her?
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
8 Mar 11
It depends on the situation you told her that just to give it back to her. If the purpose was only to harm her the way she hurt you this would easily make you not better than her. If you want to "pay her back", I'm sure you'll find a more delicate and smarter way.
@Shellyann36 (11275)
• United States
9 Mar 11
The person who is doing this is just being vicious and trying to get a response out of you. The best thing to do is to just ignore this person. However if it leads to more then perhaps you should mention something to your supervisor. It is also best not to let them get to you. Right now this person knows that what they say influences your day. Even if it does make you angry or sad pretend that it does not and continue to be happy. That will get the person right where it hurts! Good luck.
@Shellyann36 (11275)
• United States
15 Mar 11
Thanks for the best response! Has anything changed at work?
@adnileb (5035)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
Well, we all experience being criticized and I admit some of them are pretty embarrassing. Some people didn't mean that but some just wants you to get REALLY embarrassed so you have to weigh things out. I usually turn the embarrassment on them by criticizing them too and it works well. Soon, they will stop ruining your morning.
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
This type of criticism is not good, why? yes you said what you want to say on your colleague but you did not think you have offended the person you critisized and you dont think also that was the beginning of her/him ruined day, critisism is also good but its depend on how you critisized a person, let say more people around here, show him your concern only one thing to do is tell him just furtiveness.
@sunita64 (6473)
• India
12 Mar 11
Well criticism is one thing that really is never taken lightly. Earlier I used to take it seriously and yes used to feel hurt, as it hurts so I am careful and do not criticise a person in front of others. If something is inappropriate then I call the student and discuss is personally so that they do not get hurt in front of others.
• United States
9 Mar 11
well i think i would of looked at her and said well i like the way i look but i am up for any suggest after work and i would of went to work
• United States
9 Mar 11
I agree Koalznowly and something I will not continue to allow to happen to me. If it happens one too many times I simply tell the person that I no longer wish to hear. If they persist then I have to distance myself because this type of talk gets me down and feeling negative. I suggest you let this person know how you feel and if they do not listen a bit of distance may do some good, so when they ask you what is wrong between you, you can say once again that you do not appreciate all the gossip and criticism. Best of luck. I do see you are new to myLot so welcome aboard.
• United States
8 Mar 11
I feel like you shouldn't had let that get to you because that's what the person wants. There are people who are insecure about themselves so they point out the defects of others just to make themselves feel better. So, you should've just shrugged and walked away rather than responding to whatever she was saying. That shouldn't have distracted you from your work.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
8 Mar 11
Hi, It is not good to criticize people early in the morning. For me, I prefer not to give any comments to others expecially in the morning before starting to work. It will definitely spoilt the person's mood. Be it how good friend we are,try not to comment anything about him/ her in the morning time. Maybe after work,then give some comments or advices to him/her.