How would you react if you found out your sister is actually your mom?
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
April 27, 2011 9:43pm CST
When I was in high school, one of the students in my campus got pregnant. She was around 15-16years old then and was forced to skip school for about a year or so when she gave birth to her child.
Rumors spread that her parents adopted the baby to be their own (and to be her sibling) and wanted to put the situation behind them thus, they never intended to tell the child who the real mother is. I guess what the child doesn't know won't hurt him/her.
Anyhow, the incident has moved on perfectly and it has been several years since it happened and I am now wondering what the situation would be now that the child is already in his/her teens or adolescence. Well, I have no means of finding out since I transfered away from the city I grew up in.
So, my question is this. How would you react or feel if you were that child and somebody told you (perhaps from a grapevine) that your sister is actually your mother? Or what if the family told you about it?
As for me, I don't really know how I would react, but somehow I would begin to ask "why the need for all these secrecy?" I know they would be trying to protect the daughter from all the buzz but what is the effect of the relationship between her and her child? It would be awkward if the child starts talking back to the sister (like we all do to our siblings when we're older).
Anyhow, what's your take on the matter? Thanks in advance for the replies.
3 people like this
15 responses
LOL
Seriously though, I don't know how I would react. I guess it would depend on when and how I found out.
Happy mylotting!
@ohsodianne (433)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
I think it is possible. If for example the girl got pregnant around 15 or 16 or so, the age gap can still be considered as sisters. There are some siblings here in the Philippines where the age gap are as wide as that.
1 person likes this
LOL
@kisstin (93)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
I am in the situation like that. I really dont know what to say. My dad and stepmom adopted my son and no one knows here I have a son. So we are called brother and sister here. Im really scared for what may happen in the future. I just pray he will have the good life my parents would give to him. Because I cant give him complete a family and security.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
25 Jul 11
Oh really. Isn't it awkward when he starts calling you 'sister'?
I think he would understand if he is mature enough and if you tell him your real reason (you couldn't give him a complete family). I mean, it's tough to be in a situation when people start ridiculing you for your actions (or past actions). I think you kid has a better chance living a normal life because of what you and your parents did.
I hope everything would be good soon.
By the way, didn't the father or the family of the father know of the existence of this child?
@paries (29)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
every decision has its consequences whether good or bad.. and every secret has its own time to come out of its closet and reveals itself..but we cant predict exactly what will be the consequence of this..maybe the child would be very understanding enough to just accept the fact and go on with life without any hard feelings on his or her part.. i guess it's really up to the individuals reaction when the revelation time happened..maybe she will be affected by the environment, but she will always be be loved by her family no matter what..
@dellahappy (260)
• China
28 Apr 11
well actually it is tough to everyone in the pitful kid's situation,he/she is innocent and maybe it happened too dramatically for the revelation,if i am that child,if i am old enough to know the truth maybe i can forgive them coz they have no choise but to lie to everyone for protecting their daughter,it feels strange but it's better to accept it as soon as possible and they are eventually my family and i will love them the same way as before.but if i am young and at my rebellious perious ,who knows,many teenagers who are hurt deeply easily got mental illness and hard to forgive source of injury i hope i am not one of them ...
@ohsodianne (433)
• Philippines
28 Apr 11
I would really be dumb-founded at first. Then at one point I think I'll get hurt, feel stupid and then betrayed. It would make me feel really really weird because then I would have to change how I treat my "sister".
1 person likes this
@tink91879 (742)
• United States
28 Apr 11
Tough one. If i were to adopt one of my kids children, fortunatly mine are still 8 and 5, I wldnt keep it a secret. i think its better to be honest. This would help to not have hurt feelings later. I know that secrets are just hurtful and end up causing more questions than answers. I found out a few years ago that my dad had a child in HS and the child was put up for adoption. Whats funny is my dad has never told me. I learned through my mom who thought I knew, My parents are divorced since I was 2. I was visiting at my dads and found a box with old negatives in it. I came across some baby photos of a little boy. A cpl other items, I wasnt sure what they were exactly. My step-mom came in and asked if my dad had talked to me about my older brother. I told her no. She seemed shocked. When I went to visit my dad again a cpl weeks later the box had been moved and I cldnt find it again. I dont know how to approach my dad on the subject. One part of the story is the child might not be his, but their sure it is. It wasnt an open adoption and I dont think My Dad has put forth any effort to find him. I would like to know though if I have a brother and what happend. Just secrets. Where as if he had been open I wldnt have so many questions or thoughts on the subject. Therefore I think its better to be open, because the truth cant stay hidden forever.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
3 May 11
Yeah, secrets cannot be kept forever, however, when is the right time for these secrets to be out in the open? I don't think parents should think that as long as they're honest, they are doing good for the child.
There was one family here in our area whose son doesn't treat his father with respect ever since they told him that he was adopted. I guess there are things that is better left unsaid since he was adopted as a baby. I think it's time to tell the truth when the person is already an adult like you.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
24 Jul 11
I have heard of things such as this happening from time to time, and you often wonder what will happen when they ever find out. And Honestly how can everyone continue to keep this a Secret without it leaking out, or eventually the real Mom wanting to tell him or her. And then how will the child feel then? I think sometimes it can be a very touchy subject, and may seem OK when you first do it, but eventually there comes a time when the real truth should be told as well.
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
1 May 11
My cousins were aged 15 and 16 years old and then their baby brother was born. When out with his pram people commented you are too young to be a mother. They laughed because he was of course the baby brother. It is so interesting to hear about your school friend getting pregnant then her parents kept the baby as their own child. If I found out my sister was my mother that would be quite a shock. It would be rather awkward and I would think back to past times. I would wonder what I had said in my teenage years and those years just before becoming a teenager. It would be worse than finding out about having been adopted. My mother was age 39 years old when I was born and my sister is 5 years older than me.
@apples99 (6556)
• United States
29 Apr 11
I would naturally be shocked, and upset especially if I didn't know until my teens or adult hood, and if my sister/mom made it a point to lie to me I would be angry
But I guess over time I could deal with it if I had a happy childhood to spite the lie, and I would be grateful that I had a good life and didn't end up in a bad foster family or home even though I was deceived
Though it would definitely take time for me to get use to learning that sort of news and would talk with my family and tell them how I feel. @atprudente6 (673)
• Philippines
29 Apr 11
I would be shock at first. Maybe it will take me several months to accept the fact that she is my mother. In the first place, she has not abandoned me, although she pretended to be my sister and not my mother, she did not let me die through abortion. The fact alone will be enough for me to accept her as my mother
@tammy27 (1241)
• Philippines
29 Apr 11
well, if i found out that my sister is my mom, of course i'll be in great emotional pain. especially if they hide that for a long time. i mean, if a have my own mom why hide it from me? and so what if she's young? that's not new in this generation.. :)
@misc11 (384)
• United States
28 Apr 11
In the situation you explained, I think I would rather never know and just always think of my mother as my sister. Once you have grown up thinking that, I think it would be detrimental and you would be so hurt and confused that it would not be a good thing for the child. You have grown up treating your mother like your sister and that is all you know and that is the only role you know this person as. I think changing this and saying this is actually your mother so treat her as your mother now would be awful for a child and be psychologically damaging. In this situation, I think the child and the family is better off to never know. As for me, I would never want to know if I was in the situation you described. If I got to choose from the beginning, I would rather know who my mothers is from the beginning and be raised by my mother and my mother act as a mother to me. I would rather my mother be my mother as young as she is than lie to me my whole life and find out later and feel betrayed. I wish the best for the child in the situation you described as that is not an easy situation to be in for anyone.
@nes2576 (1)
• United States
28 Apr 11
I don't think that is fair to the mother or the child. Why live a lie? If your life is a lie, then you probably can develop some major psychological issues, knowing how things really are. Do the parents of the young mother think that it is proper to do that to their child, and grandchild, just for the sake of saving their reputation? People really need to grown up and face reality. Once something is done, its done, and you can never take it back. A person's reputation is not as important in a situation when it involves another life or other lives. How could you live with yourself knowing that you did that to your child? Obviously people do not want to put themselves in that situation, and ask themselves, what if this was me? What would I want? That would be devastating and destroy a family by your own doing. Some people need a clue. Well, that's my opinion anyway.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
28 Apr 11
Thi ne realization ould definitely ne omething to freak me out. hat kind of relationhip ould there be beteen u no ith the ne change in our live. It ould certainly make u ee te orld in a different light.
