should I be offended?

@p3ks626 (6552)
Philippines
April 29, 2011 7:55pm CST
I didnt think that I would be offended but its what I feel right now. The situation is like this, there's this one person that I dont really like that my in-laws know that. Something happened to me and that person before to the extent that she said bad things about me. She was somewhat close to my in-laws but knowing that she did something that I didnt like, and it was totally offensive they still show her that they could still have some sort of connection. I am really offended by this and I feel like they are in favor of her or something. Am I reasonable not to want her to get connected with them?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
I don't think you should be offended. It doesn't mean that your in laws are still friends with someone you despise that they are in favor of her. I think it is better if you just ignore the other person and don't get bothered by your in laws hanging out with her.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
So I guess they are not in favor of her or something. Maybe just trying to pay her some respect and how about the respect i deserve, none? I would have to be the one who would understand what they are doing and its crazy if you think about it. I mean, the real situation is crazy. I really dont want to stay here anyway, I wish i could just go home and live with my family in my hometown, give birth to my baby there than being with people who are plastic.
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
Maybe in time they will realize their mistake. Anyway if you really look at it, it really doesn't matter what they do. If they choose to be with the other person then just let them be. What is really is that you maintain a good relationship with your husband. His family might be mingling with that woman but what is important is that your husband supports you in your situation.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
Thanks for reminding me that! I guess it really doesnt matter and I should be telling myself that. Its just that its going to be difficult for me to deal with them now.
@tlb0822 (1414)
• United States
30 Apr 11
I don't think tht you are unreasonable for not wanting them to be connected with her, but they may be simply just being nice. I could see if they were inviting this girl to family gatherings that you were attending, or something like that. Then it would be completely offensive. It may be there way of just trying to keep the peace, and unless they try to persuade you into "reconnecting" with her, or if they begin telling you that you are wrong... then I would simply ignore it and not let it get to you. Because then you are just giving that girl more satisfaction of knowing that she is still bothering you.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
1 May 11
Thank you for those words! Sometimes I think I know those things already but its still better that I am reminded by someone about it. I guess all I have to do now is hope that what you mentioned in your reply will not happen. I just hope that they wont try and invite her over and hopefully they will respect the fact about me and that girl.
@krajibg (11942)
• Guwahati, India
30 Apr 11
Hi there, If you have had the twist in their bearings it would be better to shrug off. Let them say anything they like. This is a human nature that people create things from the most unlikely sources. Or if you feel too offended you could ask them to make things clear.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
I feel like there's no use in talking to them anymore cause they already know what happened before. My husband already talked to them about this girl and it would be better if they just ignore her cause the more that they try to make her feel comfortable, the more that she is going to put me down. But I guess all the talking was not for anything. I just cant trust them anymore.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
30 Apr 11
Hi P3ks626, Well, your story is vague and I think I may have a clearer picture with more details. Based on what you said here, I would say that no, you should not be offended. Whatever happened actually was between the two of you and not her and them or you and them. I am thinking that they just don't want to get in the middle of it or take sides. It could be that they like both of you and just don't want to be involved. I t could be that they do side with you but still don't want to get caught up in the problems that the two of you are having.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
You could also be right about that and that they dont want to take sides. I really dont know what to think right now and all I know is that I am really disappointed at them. Even though the problem may be between me and her, I think they should also know and realize that there are things that they should do and should not do.
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
Its offensive. I will definitely feel the same thing. I will keep distance from that girl. Then ill prove to my in laws that whatever bad things that the girl said is wrong. Ill just show who am i. The true me.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
I think its suppose to be something that they should do. I already thought that we have settled everything already since we did that for a year and they know the reason why that girl and I had a conflict. Its not okay for them not to hurt her but its that I get hurt. I dont think I like them and I am just so offended by it.
@dlpierce (476)
• United States
30 Apr 11
Maybe this is the only way your in-laws know to deal with the matter. They may be defending you when it comes to her and trying to make things better for you. But also maybe they just can't stop being a friend to someone because of someone else's disagreements. I had an experience where my brother's ex wife always remained my good friend even though my brother thought we shouldn't still be friends because of him, I couldn't stop myself from being her friend. He doesn't seem to have a problem with that now.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
I guess you are right about that. They cant stop being friends to her even though we had this kind of conflict. I just dont understand why though knowing that it was her who didnt respect me, I think that my in-laws also need to respect that but maybe they cant. And I guess I am not going to expect that they will.
@tiina05 (2319)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
hello, All you have to do is too calm down and dont say anything about that girl because the more you get mad the more your in-law think that the girl is right?. okay? and I think your in-law dont want to treat the girl rudely that is why they still have connection to her and maybe the girl is the one connecting to your in-law. So, just relax and dont get stress to it.
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
30 Apr 11
You are right that she's the one who started to connect with them. Its just that they know that I dont like her and that they should also respect that since I am the one in their family. I am not sure what they're trying to show me by doing that. I am not mad now, just a little offended.
@jonahh08 (261)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Have you confirmed that you're in-laws are in favor of her? I guess there's nothing wrong with them being connected with the one that you've had a fight with. It doesn't mean they're on her side. They had nothing to do with the fight so why would they chose sides now? I beg to disagree but it's not reasonable for you to tell them what to do.
@jayen28 (84)
14 May 11
I understand what you fell,but for me be cool and don't think to much about that girl because the more you acknowledge her present the more wrinkles that you get! hehehe joke! Don't be offended when your in-laws even though you feel that they connection to each other dis pate of things that girl did it to you because maybe they show a good manner to her and you can never dictate to them what they want to do. Assess the situation before you complain things that make you a huge problem in the near future, try to understand their situation and ignored that girl, don't let her know that you are affected to her because it's give her a dose of happiness. Be happy and stay calm.