Wish this would be my last tears...

@jaiho2009 (39019)
Philippines
May 3, 2011 4:31pm CST
I never thought that love could be more hurtin' when you love someone from a distance. Loving someone from a distance like,you can't hold and you can't possess that person. You know about that from the start,and you never wish for anything else...but to love that someone by heart...in your own special way. Though you wish and longed in your heart,someday somehow it could be real. To express and share what you really feel. You wish for impossible,but you never stopped dreaming. Then suddenly,you realized...you never have any right to love that person. Not even in your wish or in your dream,because he/she asked you not to love him/her. You see the whole world crashin' before your eyes,you can't hold back those tears. It seems the world stopped for a while and you can only hear your heartbeat,yes your heart beating full of sorrow and pain. It hurts to know you love someone that can never be your's. But it hurts more when this someone asks you to stop loving him/her,thu you never asks to be loved in return. Was it a sin to love someone in your own special way? Is it a fault to love someone from a distant that gives you reason to smile everyday? Why Love seems so unfair when you're not asking to be loved in return. Why can't they understand that,loving someone from a distant is making someone's heart live again. I shed my tears tonight,wish this would be my last tears. Somehow i've learned that love is not a possession. Love is never there for me 5/4/2011 Wed. 5:29am PT
1 person likes this
22 responses
@dpk262006 (56217)
• Delhi, India
4 May 11
Hi Jai! I think it is tricky situation. You have every right to love a person, whom you want to, even if s/he is away from you. However, when someone whom you love is nearer to you in physical sense, then you can actually see in his/her eyes, whether s/he loves you, whereas in a distant relationship, it gets difficult to ascertain the real position. Don’t cry Jai, you did nothing wrong, it was the other person, who did not understand your sentiments and s/he does not deserve you.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
hello dpk, He deserves to be loved...but i am not worth his love. He is too good to be true...and i am not. thanks for being here my friend...
@dpk262006 (56217)
• Delhi, India
4 May 11
How can you say so that you are not worth his love. You are such a nice person, if somebody fails to 'recognise' real you, he is not worth you.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (65999)
• India
4 May 11
What if he is already married and has a happy family life? What if he feels bad that he will never be able to give recognition to this feeling? What if he in his own way has wished her well by giving her no hopes rather than play about with her sentiments and duped her.
1 person likes this
@shibham (17025)
• India
4 May 11
HI didi.. Perhaps i can understand better your mental agonies and what can i do as i live far long away from you. Just a call or some words here... its not enough to convince you, i know.. Hence here you are the one who can heal your heart. Actually, in real life we should not take anything too seriously because if we dont get it or we lose it once we get... then it hurts more. So, if we take everything easily, then we are not to get hurt anymore. Wish you have all good in your life. Take care.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
dear bhai, Wish this could be easy like what you've wrote. Some people even do same mistakes but never learned their lesson. It is because love comes in different ways...moves in a mysterious ways that you will be caught unaware or unguarded. You maybe never understand because you have chosen to be that way,hating love. Or,you loved and feel love in your heart but you are always in a denial ... Open your heart and you will see what i mean. If you lost someone..it doesn't mean that you can never love again... losing someone means...someone better is coming,so we must let go of the present one to give way for the new one. unless you want to play around and ended up empty. Try to love someone first ...then you will surely understand what is love.
• Philippines
4 May 11
@ jaiho, Love this: Try to love someone first ...then you will surely understand what is love
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
yes...to make him a reliable adviser for broken hearted people
• Philippines
3 May 11
we live in a world full of uncertainties, in a life with no guarantees. one cannot say when the last tears may be or that we won't ever feel the hurt again. i'm sorry you are hurt and it made you cry.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
3 May 11
dear myles, The more i want to let go,the more it hurts. Love got a hold of me right now. i don't how and i don't know why... It just made me cry ...sorry... i can't stop saying "wedding bells"
• Philippines
3 May 11
even in sorrow you still have enough wits with you to still include the bells. hehe you will be alright. your heart is strong. and i know it hurts like hell. love is like that. the more we have loved, the more we gave it the ability to bring us in bliss or pain. but it will be alright. cry if you must.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
3 May 11
I am...in tears now,this topic fill with tears.. of bitterness that i could almost taste it
• Philippines
4 May 11
hello jaiho, We just talked last night on the phone for about 1.5 hrs.what happened? Everything seems fine with you and you did not mention this to me Loving someone will never be that easy because it can be two way street or sadly one way street there will be no assurance that they will love us back and one of the possible hurtful happened when they suddenly ask you to stop loving them even we never ask them love us back. Loving them will never be a sin if we can only dictate ourselves not to feel this towards them we will but since feelings is feelings, I hope you do understand now why i cannot love someone from distant because i need lots of courage,trust, patient and faith that everything will be alright and we are going to have a happy ending even we are both far from each other Hope you will feel better now *HUGS*
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
bhaby, I am fine by that time we have those long talk over the phone. I never thought it takes us an hour and a half,i was fine by that time. I thought everything will be alright.. Actually i don't know how to explain...but i know i don't need to tell everything. I know you will understand me without saying a word...you know me well. Just wish i will be alright...
• Philippines
4 May 11
my dear, regardless of the possible hurt... one can be wary but should not be disillusioned in love. i'm giving a short seminar later this afternoon in manila. i'm hoping i could spare some time for j afterwards, if she wants to, before i travel back to the province later tonight.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 May 11
@ jaiho, Yeah!i can imagine your face too....... myles will be here in manila what about a couple of drinks (tequila) later? @ myles, I am excited hope it will pursue ooopppsss......it seems i am inviting myself never mind at least i am invited
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
4 May 11
now this is heartbreaking jaiho and frustrating, loving someone you cannot have hurts. It is like wanting to eat ice cream and candies but you are diabetic.. sorry i am so bad with metaphors. Hoping your pain will ease in due time, just think that those tears you shed will make you strong..it will make you strong. Love is really not a possession, love is not selfish but learns how to let go. God bless jaiho, hoping your pain will ease and you will soon find the love that will lasts and will forever be yours.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
hello jazel, You got it there! It's like having a shoe shop,or be an owner of SM Mall but you don't have feet,or you don't have legs. Isn't frustrating? That is what i feel at this moment....frustrated and broken! thanks for your response jazel and have a good day
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
4 May 11
Oh so you people want to believe that when you love someone you should have him/her? If that is so, dear friends, it is not love, it is personal gain and ego...
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
dear sids, This doesn't mean wanting that person...jazel and i were just sighting an example.
@Sreekala (23349)
• India
4 May 11
Hello my dear sister, Love will always hurt dear, if there is no hurt it means there is no love. However it is difficult to mange the hurts, a good cry an ease your hurts, so cry as much as you want. I don’t have many words to pacify you. I really don’t know what to say. Try to understand the reality, if somebody don’t need you then why you bother about that person. Always be with people who need you, try to get a person who realty love you, yeah, you don’t need a person in your life, who loved by you but you need a person who ‘love you’ in heart. I hope you understand what I am trying to convey.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
my dear sis It's really hard to explain. And i just can't explain. All i know is...it hurts,hurts so deep. I know i will be fine...i just don't know when. Thanks for being here always ,you really never missed to give me those hugs when i needed one
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 May 11
@ jaiho, Do you want me to explain this to them?
2 people like this
@Sreekala (23349)
• India
4 May 11
bhaby, please, if you can
1 person likes this
@Cannonball (3636)
• France
4 May 11
I understand about this feeling of wanting to possess the other, I am the same when I love someone even if I guess it's not really reasonable. It's also fine for me too to flirt with somebody online, it's just that it's so different from real life to be able to feel the truth in the other behavior etc. I've already hurted in love and after years the memory of the terrible feelings I had when I've been left all alone is still there but I learned to live with it and realized I would never ever forget about it. After that I felt lost and acted badly with girls, hurted some of them and finally hurted myself as well so I realized I had no way but to remain myself and keep loving passionately like I always did. The difference is just that now I keep in mind that it can completely crash just in a and at any times. So with this, the best attitude for me is to keep building myself, in arts science etc, I also had to re-consider the value of family and friendship. I can find much love with them, so pure and only one thing will make it stop.
1 person likes this
• France
4 May 11
I mean yeah, flirting online can perfectly work for imaginative people.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
hello Cb, Flirting...ok,i wish i did...but i didn't. You misunderstood ,or maybe we have different views when it comes to loving someone online. I know what you mean,i am not that naive...but,no...i never did with that flirting thing. Anyway,thanks for sharing your experience and wish you a good day always
• France
4 May 11
You fall in love with somebody without flirting at first ?
1 person likes this
@flapiz (4173)
• Australia
10 May 11
That's so sad. But I hope you don't give up on love yet. Maybe God has someone better in store for you. Just wait patiently and don't lose hope. Love doesn't come easy, but it will come eventually. Don't worry you are not alone. I have been liking a guy for 10 years now since I was just a child. And I am also just contented of looking at him from afar. Just waitng... waiting for him to notice me.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
10 May 11
hello flapiz, I've learn so much from this experience. First is,i still know how to love. It's been a long time since i've felt this kind of feeling. I never even thought that i could love someone again. Yes,it does hurt,that i fall in love for the second time and it seems to be a failure again...but maybe this is meant to be. I won't lose hope,if love comes my way at the right time with the right person,come what may. If it doesn't come to reality...so let it be thanks for your answer and wish you all the best of love
@flapiz (4173)
• Australia
10 May 11
I truly wish you the best in love too. Have a nice day. :)
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
10 May 11
@vandana7 (65999)
• India
4 May 11
Jaiho ..love is always there, forever. It is recognizing it in the right form that matters. Your expression of your feelings is very beautiful. I do understand it, and respect such feelings. I wont insult you by saying you should not feel that way. It is your right and if it makes you feel better so be it. But correspondingly it is also the right of the person whom you love to his feelings. He is as I understand a gentleman. Had he been anything less, he would have basked in this attention - for you are beautiful in thoughts, words, deeds and physical looks. It must be difficult for him too to be firm. Love him, by all means. But love him so that his peace and tranquility is not disturbed. Love him with no expectations. That is more fun. Becoz it is as we desire and not as it is practically. Once it becomes practical we are bound to be disappointed, and there can be something that we had not bargained for.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
5 May 11
hello vandana, I really appreciate how you understand my situation and how i pictured my feelings in this topic. I don't have anything more to say nor to add. Thanks for your kind words it's highly appreciated. Have a great day always
@vandana7 (65999)
• India
6 May 11
Here is wishing you that the day brings happiness and cheer..
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
6 May 11
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
4 May 11
Hi di The problem of love starts when you start thinking because love is from the heart not from the brains. Di, there is no such thing that can prevent you from loving anyone. Si I do not agree with this "you never have any right to love that person" - it simply cannot be prevented. And I always say - Love without any expectations is pure, powerful and can never be a sin. May I ask what is so very wrong at your end? Maybe a PM or anything that you may use, but I would like to know why you have been so gloomy about love over the past so many days!
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
dear sids, If you happen to realize what i have wrote here,you can never read about expectation. Because like i said...i want to love that someone by heart and in my own special way. Yes,you are right...no one can prevent us from loving someone silently (in our own way) Don't worry my dear...your Di will be fine. If i was able to moved on from the first failure...i am sure i can handle this one. I will let you know if your Di needs reinforcement I hope you are doing fine now
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
5 May 11
Oh... it seems quite puzzling as this is happening with you. I now know that there is something more wrong going on at your end than I am thinking about. But I am happy that you will let me know if there is any need and this will mean that I can be of some help. The first failure as you mention is quite a great weapon in your artillery. YOu can always plan out the next moves based on that first failures. Take care di.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
5 May 11
Aye sir...i may not be a good warrior when it comes to heart problem,but i am trying to be in a full battle gear.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
4 May 11
for the first time in my life i am dumb founded sweetie. i know that feeling to well so i know exactly what it is you are going thru. we just need to move on. nothing else can make this better. sorry.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
dear saphy, I know you knew..i don't have words to tell you either. But your hug's enough to say everything and make me feel you do understand
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
30 Jun 11
Thanx for the BR sweetie.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
30 Jun 11
• Philippines
4 May 11
oh yeah..i know what it feels like! ='( loving someone that can't be your's...ouch! it's really agonizing..and hearing your loved one asking you to stop loving him/her...feels like your heart's being pounded 'til it liquifies..d@mn "eros"! wish it never existed! ='( *still trapped with her memories... ='( keep the faith.. ;-,
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
hello panda, Ugh!!! i hope you know where you should stand right? or...D1 will come out from grave to hanged you upside down
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
and one more...don't asks about "eros" if there is no eros you will never exists! ugh!...and all the human kind will never exists...! hear me?... or you want another set of doctrines
• Philippines
6 May 11
hahaha... never thought of that.. what i mean is, i wish "eros" passed over me..wish it didn't exist.......in my vocabulary!!! =D
@ddaguno (3110)
• Philippines
8 May 11
your post is so long that i think it could fill the stanzas of a song. why dont you try adding a melody to it and you might get discovered as a songwriter. it seems like your heart is in pain now my friend. i hope you get over it soon. i will look forward to your beautiful smiles after the tears
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
8 May 11
hello dda, Thanks for your response and so you find this good one for a song lyrics I use to write poems before esp when i am feeling grey and lonely. I express my feeling and changed my moods through writing or painting. But that was long ago...now i lived with no pen or brush in my hand...but this keyboard and tapping my fingers to letters which makes me faster to write whatever i had in mind
@Hatley (164647)
• Garden Grove, California
8 May 11
hi jaiho dry your tears you can love someone but you cannot make him love you unless he feels it. so you must look for that special someone God picked out for you. You will see him when you least expect it and he will know you are meant for him,he will love you just as much as you love him, so trust and wait he is out there for you that one special man who is also looking for you.you may pass him on the street but one day it will happen you will look up he will be there and he will speak to you and you will feel so comfortable with him as he will with you and you and he will feel like you have known each other for ever.trust me love is there for you so it will happen. hug from hatley.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
8 May 11
dear Hatley, Thank you so much for this very inspirational comment from you dear Yes,he might be somewhere,or maybe i've already met him on the street and just ignore him..or he might ignored me... I just need to wait till the right time...when suddenly our eyes met and makes our heart beat stop for a moment (i love it) You always makes me fall in love my dear and thank you again. Happy Mother's day
@mobhomeir (7565)
• Philippines
7 May 11
I am deeply sorry for that bonita. I only have few words I could tell on your situation my friend. We both experienced different kinds of saddest moments in our lives..(am talking just between you and me...don't care about other). It is normal bonita because we are still living this very treacherous life. It would just be a matter of how you play with them..frustrations, worries, sadness are part of life's ingredients..Like you I have also memorable moments that whatever happens I will not forget it..because that it eaten up a half of my love life. In your case, no matter what happen never close your heart in terms of love. It is not yet the "end of the world"...we are not alone there are people there that are also having love problem worse than yours that make them crazy... Am not saying "wait til you get crazy'...If you will always cry obviously you cry alone but when you go out and smile the world will smiles back at you - not that you're already crazy... but being matured and strong enough to handle and face whatever problems and obstacle in from of you... Got what I mean? One thing more before I forgot..sometimes that's a common mistake of a woman who would easily fall in love ..CHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR UPPPPPPPPPP my bonita..my problem right now is how to survive...
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
7 May 11
dear Martin, Treacherous life -okay i consider this one my dear Martin. Oh yeah forget about the others,let's talk about you and me against the world I don't care if you are 3 decades older than me,all i know is...this is just between you and me see...see how you made me crazy now? (hahahahaha) Opppsss....i don't easily fall in love my friend,but anyway,it's nice to fall in love ,and i love the feeling,thu sometimes it hurts (sob,sob,sob huwahhhhhhhh) Now forget about my situation and, Don't worry about your situation,i know you can get over through that hard time. You're a good person my friend and i know you can surpass all those trials,like how you beat with your past. Past? past trials hehehe. Nice to see you again my dear amigo...
@llbo1981 (1242)
• China
5 May 11
Wish you are Ok,my friend jaiho2009.Tears can not solve problem,do you think so.The method to solve the problem is that you can find some ways to solve the problems around you,then you can have a try toward the method
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
5 May 11
hello llbo, I don't need to face the problem my friend. All i need is to keep up the faith. If destiny plays a big part...then,it's my fate. And i am waiting for that..wishing for destiny and fate. thanks for your response and don't worry,i will be fine soon. have a good day always
@maharlikah (1045)
• Philippines
5 May 11
Just what the drama said, "walang nagmahal na hindi nasaktan." It is really true that when you love someone, it doesn't mean your are in a bed of roses. Well, yes, maybe but remeber roses have thorns. Loving sometimes hurt our emotions. But it doesn't mean it will end that way. Try to look at the clouds, there's the sun behind ready to shine brighter than before. may that sun dry your tears and paint a smile in your heart.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
5 May 11
hello amiga, "walang nagmahal na hindi nasaktan. yes,i always remember this line with drama series and movies. I wish the sun can dried up my tears and can paint smile in my heart. Then...i can lay in my bed smiling even thu it's raining! how are you amiga...i still miss you here,we never get the chance of meeting when you are online. Anyway,thanks for keeping active these days
@sizzle3000 (3040)
• United States
4 May 11
It's a sad thing it is. I had to watch my daughter go through this. He was in Michigan and she in Maryland. They promised each other things and they were supposed to be together. When he broke up with her, it literally devastated her. I had my 19 yr old daughter crying in my lap. 19. My baby girl who thought she was grown up and thought she was in love. In all the boyfriends that she had she was more hurt over this magical dream guy that in actuality didn't exist in Michigan.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
5 May 11
hello sizzle, My heart cries with your response. It's really magical...thanks for giving the right definition..[b].MAGICAL! [/b] Who can ever understand me better than the person who witnessed or been in my shoes. I wish my mom is here with me so i can also cry on her lap or a hug is enough to give all the comfort i need...no need for any words thank you..you lift my soul
@thanks1961 (7046)
• India
4 May 11
Hi Jai, I can understand and estimate the magnitude of your feelings. This is the only life what we have to live with love and hatred. When each and every moments parting away from us, we lose those moments for ever. Sometime we are destined to live by crying and suffering the pains even without sharing with anyone. Sometime we won't realise the value of love, whenever we are blessed with it. When our love to someone is being ignore we get sad and feel lonely. But we need to accept the reality and have to possess the courage to accept it. The word around is not so small to express our feelings. I had a love and I loved more than 5 years and I lost her. But the love still live in me as it how it was about about 35 years before. Last week when I visited my village, I looked for her and met after 35 years! It was a surprise and a kind of such a relax. You can imaging, if a person who meet his lover after 35 years, what could be the state of mind at that time. So, love is such a feeling, never fade the colour by distance or time. It is all beyond that. A cry or silence is not a solution, but it give relax and momentary relief as well. Whenever our mind crave fore something, our imaginations would fly in the air and we all are human beings, and as much we control everything, it burst with double power whenever it overflows. Relax and try to coop with reality, the time will give you more courage peace of mind. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
5 May 11
thanks, It seems i traveled time with you upon reading your response. As if i am watching you and seeing your reaction the moment you saw her after 35 years. 35 years...that's a long time and i couldn't just imagine that " I looked for her and met after 35 years! It was a surprise and a kind of such a relax. You can imaging, if a person who meet his lover after 35 years, what could be the state of mind at that time. " Now i understand why my supposedly husband (my parents choice) was not able to control his emotions the moment he saw me after 13 years when i run away from our supposedly wedding. The moment he saw me...he just rushed to hug me that no one has ever thought he would do that since his wife is around. That was 4 years ago...i can still see the pain in his eyes. Love really moves in mysterious ways... so mysterious that not even the great poet can wrote definite meaning.. or any of the great painter can paint the real color of love. Thanks for your response and for sharing your past It makes me feel better...i know i am understood
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
4 May 11
Hi jaiho2009, your love for someone is under-rated. Be realistic. If you're talking about a man who lives far away from you OR he is someone's husband, I would have to advice you to LOVE yourself more. Life is short. No need to cry but after you cry, you should learn to wake up from all these dreams and start to place more importance in your future. :)
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
4 May 11
hello jack, Like i wrote in my topic,i never expect anything...but to love by heart in my special way. It's hard to understand unless you were in same situation. Yes life is short,and life is not always bed of roses. We maybe happy today,and might be crying the next day...we never knew till when we are successful or we may fall down. I know i can get through this... thanks for your response and have a great day