My son's teacher told me that she fusses at her students.

@cream97 (29166)
United States
May 25, 2011 4:51pm CST
I talked with my son's teacher after a conference that I had today with her. She told me that she and her other teachers do fuss at her students in class because they know that they are capable of learning and achieving. But, the way that my son has been complaining, I am really wondering if the "fussing" that they are doing is positive. I have been hearing so much from my son from school about how nasty and rude one of his teachers has been with him. But then my son will never tell his main teacher what is going on. I asked his main teacher today about all of this and she has told me that her teacher assistant's, are not being mean to my son and that they are not making him feel as if they are teasing him. My son's main teacher said that my son was being highly oversensitive. I am very confused. How do I ever deal with my son coming home, almost in tears, and in tears, telling me the mean things that his other teacher does to him and when I go to ask his main teacher she denies everything that I tell her that is going on in her classroom. I had a long talk with her about so many issues that I have been hearing from my son. I just am tired of what I am hearing, but yet the teacher claims that none of this is true about her teacher's assistant. It is just so much that is going on. I told his teacher today that if I hear anymore complaints about this other teacher, I will have to talk to the principal. She says that, that may be a the best thing to do. I know that she is not happy with me talking to the school's principal though. I have never in my life had this much of problems with teacher's before. It has started with my children. My son is very shy. It is just so many negative things that are being said and done in schools. My son and my daughter have both came back home telling me all of the good and the bad things that they teacher's have said or done to him. So, when my child is always telling me negative things about the teacher's, it is just very hard for me to ignore it. I don't know what to do anymore, I just don't.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 May 11
Too bad you can't send him to school wired with recording equipment.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
25 May 11
Hi. dawnald. Yes, that is too bad.. I have even told his teacher today, that videotaping should be considered an option in seeing what is actually going on in the classrooms. I also mentioned to her, how would the principal feel if she had to walk in on some of the things that have been going on into the classroom. I wonder if she will like what she sees.
@lajonez (478)
• Poland
26 May 11
Doesn't matter if you're son is sensitive or not, the main teacher shouldn't ignore it! Maybe you should talk to mother of other child, some friend of your son if she heard anything from her child about this teacher, and if she did you both together should go to principal to have real conversation about this, even if other mother never heard smething like this she can ask directly her child about this bad teacher. Teachers are at school not for useing children as toy to broke when they have bad day!
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@adnileb (5035)
• Philippines
29 May 11
Try having an accomplice to go with your son. A relative or friend maybe. With that, he/she can probably monitor your son's activities inside school. Or to have a peek at classrooms maybe. If it is possible to have inside their school. But if not, I think of teaching your son some techie moves like recording a video if in case his teacher is teasing him or telling him bad words. Hope this helps. I had that experience too when I was on the third grade. I told my mom and went to school. She talked to my teacher but the teacher pointed out on someone instead of admitting her mistake. Bad teachers. Instead of teaching the students good manners, they are the ones making big lies.
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@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 May 11
It's a damned shame you can't be a fly on the wall for a day or two so you can see what exactly is going on. However, this teacher telling you that she and her helper does fuss at the kids sometimes is WRONG! The kids are there to learn, not be under so much pressure! Shame on her! Maybe if you talk to the principle, he/she will let you sit in the clase for a day but in an area where the teacher doesn't see you or know you're there and same goes for your son so you can see what is really going on. From my own experience, the teacher is lying and covering up her own ugliness and is blaming your son all the while knowing full well what she's doing is wrong. Not all kids learn the same way so fussing is only making things much worse for your son. It's upsetting him and that makes it harder for him to learn. Being a teacher, she should know that but it appears that she doesn't care. You know what? What about the principle putting a video camera in the room without the teacher knowing? That way you can go to work and get the video on your way home or the next day early. Other than that, I say talk to the principle or even the school board.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1853)
• United States
27 May 11
That is too bad that you are having to deal with such problems.It is hard to know what to do in situations like this when teachers don't think there is a problem or don't want to do something about a problem and it is scary to want to talk to principal because of being afraid that the teachers are going to take their anger out on your kid.Does your school have more then one class for a grade. It might be a good idea to change classes. My school only has one class per grade so I wouldn't be able to do that. Did you ask your son what is exactly being said?Hopefully things get better kids have enough of a hard time dealing with school then to add more stress to it.
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@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
26 May 11
Talking to the principal may be the way to go. Have you talked to other parents with children in the class. If you went to the principal with more parents..that might be enough to really get something done. I would document everything your son told you; if you talk to the teacher, I would document that too. Although it might just seem like you writing down a bunch of stuff, if you have times and dates with each incident and conversation, it is pretty strong if you ever need it. If you get plenty of documentation..and that includes your conversations with other parents..you might even consider taking it in front of the schoolboard if the principal doesn't help you the first time.
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@r3jcorp (1384)
• Philippines
26 May 11
The fact that your son has brought it to you, that means that he could not bear the situation anymore. I know what you mean because I have a shy daughter too. I got several problems too with her former teachers and I make it a point to tell them that I am concern on what my daughter feels. I don't care if they doesn't make her their favorites but just give her a fair treatment in everything and give her what she deserves. Sometimes our kid's silence was misinterpreted by thinking that they dont want to participate or they are ignoring the teachers. Anyway, the three teachers of my daughters had already left the school the next school year after I talked to them.
• United States
26 May 11
From what I've heard about the teacher and the assistant, they seem very incompetent (and probably trying just to save their own hides). So, personally, I think you did the best thing by saying you'll talk to the principal if necessary. Hopefully you won't have to, but it seems like you might and hopefully that will clear things up. You and your son don't deserve this kind of treatment. On a side note, have you tried talking to other children's parents that are in the same class or had the same teacher and see if the children have similar stories, etc?
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@celticeagle (119881)
• Boise, Idaho
25 May 11
Teachers either should be and are wonderful, loving and selfless people or they are jealousy, selfish and shouldn't be in the prefession at all. Isn't there another school you could enroll your child in? I would seriously be looking into some other situation for your child. It is going getting worse.
• United States
25 May 11
Hi cream Awwh sorry to hear your son coming home in tears. Gee he should not be feeling this way. I had a similar situation with one of his teachers and although my son was never a problem child he would be up with stomach pains about school So I did conference the principal and the teacher together. Long story but the teacher was let go due to not only with my son but several other incidents with other parents. I feel you do have to listen carefully to what he is saying and perhaps the assistant is doing these things when the main teacher is not around. Do what you need to do with regards to meeting with the principal because leaving it ignored will only further cause confusion for your son and will not allow him to progress in this class or another grade because this can ruin his self esteem. Good luck with this all.
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
25 May 11
I know alot of teachers feel like they have to fuss at children to get their attention. I think some of it could be positive fussing but it ll depends on how it is done and what is said.
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@AmbiePam (50160)
• United States
26 May 11
I wouldn't do anything. This is life. Teachers are stressed, but he's not being verbally abused. I was terribly shy. And I had one particular teacher that I complained about a lot. And looking back now, I still don't think she liked me. She wasn't even close to nice. And I still think she wasn't a good teacher. But we don't always get good teachers. We don't always get good bosses. And children just have to adjust. Teachers have a lot of students and they can't just hold everyone's hand throughout the class. I'm not speaking of your son, I'm speaking in general. It's got to be tough for your son as he is so shy. But I imagine everyone, your child and his teacher are doing their very best.
• United States
26 May 11
You definitely need more information about what is being said to your child. There is a fine line between motivating and berating and only you, as the parent, have the right to say where that line is for your kid. I don't know many schools let would allow taping of classrooms, but I don't know any that would deny you the right to sit in one day or even show up outside the classroom with the principal. Give the issue as much time as you can. Good Luck!