Have you ever tried to help someone and couldn't????

@bird123 (10486)
United States
May 28, 2011 12:01am CST
As we go through life, we meet lots of people. Each has their own set of problems. Some of their problems can be very hard while others are something we can solve. Knowing that solving their problem was easy for you, have you ever tried to help someone only to discover that no matter what you did, you somehow could not help them?? Did you feel bad afterwards?? We all have our lessons in life. God will not allow you to take a lesson away from someone else. It kind of hurts when we are not allowed to help someone but remember, you have shown the goodness in you regardless of whether your actions achieved what you wanted. God's lesson for the other person is more important than you solving the problem. Never allow this to prevent you from trying to help someone again in the future. Helping is a Great act of Kindness. Let's always choose to be kind.
2 people like this
14 responses
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
30 May 11
Yeah, sometimes I tried to help but most of the time I don;t have the mean to help them. Sometimes, they did not want the help... You know when people only expected the cash or the easy thing to get handed down to them and did not want to work a little hard for it...
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
30 May 11
Yes, few things really worthwhile come easy. That is a lesson many need to learn. We can help people in many ways. Sometimes showing them our spiritual side will remind them who they really are and what is really important. Sometimes just being there with love and enouragement will help people make it through the tough times. We can not remove a lesson that someone else must experience, however going along for the ride will make it much easier. OK jennyze. I know you are helping everyone around you. You have greater means than you realize. Sometimes your results are never seen by you but none the less are out there.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
30 May 11
When I know I could never help someone, I would look away or tried not to think too much of that someone... you see sometimes it is easy to be a coward...
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
31 May 11
Certainly I have that bikini so I can just shed my skirt... I just want to live a balance life. You know I always feel suspicious of people who always looks good in manner, behavior and words. I suspect he/ she must have hid their ugly feelings well. It is the same as I would look at people who seems to always did bad things with wonder. Did he/ she hid something beautiful inside?
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
28 May 11
I believe that helping others is the ultimate act of human friendship. But just as there are many other things that we have no control over in our lives, helping sometimes is beyond us. Of course one feels bad when one wants to help but cannot. But we need to focus on those things we can do to help. Sometimes it is simply listening or referring. Choosing to be kind is a good philosophy to live by in my opinion.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
28 May 11
Yes and sometimes the results of our actions aren't seen for years later. With no immediate results we feel nothing was done but sometimes nothing is further from the truth.
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
28 May 11
Your right about that. I was a Scoutmaster for a few years back in the 80s. Recently I have come across a few of the Boys that have told me that I was instrumental in a lot of positive decisions in their lives. It is an example of what you mention. Good luck in your future attempts to help others.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
29 May 11
Thanks ptower76. Great story. Sounds like you are doing pretty good on helping others yourself. It's always great to hear.
29 May 11
I hope and believe that I have helped many people over the years. I was a factory manager for over 30 years and quite ofter staff needed help which I could give. I was also a Samaritan for a number of years and the only purpose of that organisation is to help people also I am local secretary of a charity which is set up to help people. What worries me about this discussion it that if you believe in a god and you believe that this god created the universe, the earth and life etc then you must accept that this god has an intellect far far superior to any human intellect. So why are you claiming you know what this god will not allow or what lessons this god wants to give people. I would suggest this god you are quoting only actually exists in your head.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
29 May 11
If God exists then God can be found. I never want anyone to rely on beliefs of any kind. We must value truth above all else. Your belief that God does not exist stems from the fact that you have not discovered God on your own. If you depend on others to lead you, you will rely on beliefs as you do now. Do you search for God??? If you do, you are looking in the wrong place since you have discovered nothing. Look around you. God's actions are not hidden. When you figure out how it all fits together perfectly, you will come to understand more. To discover God without more understanding would just leave you confused. Sometimes people who search find what they search for. The choices are for each to make. I'm happy to see you helping people. Yes, you are special indeed.
29 May 11
I did not say I don't believe a god exists. Certainly as a human I have to believe some incredale being or power started the universe and laid down the rules by which it all works. I am not the slightest bit confused about that. However what happens in the tiny world of us humans suggests quite strongly that there is no "god" who is interested in the fate of one person or species. Nor is there any "god" listening to prayers and answering them. This idea is something invented by, in the case of christians, muslims or jews, leaders of a desert tribe in the middle east so that they could unite their people and persuade them to murder whole cities of men, women and children in order to steal Canaan from the Canaanites. What I also say and strongly maintain is that if you or any other human claim that they know what a "god" wants or does not want it has to be a god that they have in their heads. This is fine as that is your god and you are relying on that god and since he, she or it is part of your personality it will not let you down. Finally it all does fit together perfectly as the earth goes round the sun we live on a planet that suits us and if we treat it right it will go on suiting us for many years to come.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
30 May 11
There is no doubt that religion is a catalyst by which many problems do come to the surface so they can be dealt with. Ask yourself this. If all the physics come together perfectly, shouldn't the people factor as well. To understand how it comes together and the genius of how it works is to begin to understand how God thinks. This may lead to doors for further discovery. God does see and hear it all. God is very very smart working on multiple levels with multiple views. That is why so few including religion understand. The journey to discover takes lots of work and time. All the secrets of the universe stare us in the face. Can you see??? The real answers aren't on the surface. One must look deeper. God does not have to be a belief, however that might be the only way for some. People so often limit themselves by choice. I work at not doing just that.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
30 May 11
Personally i hate it when people beg me for money. I have to donate plasma to get pocket money and/or to buy necessary things. I live in a rv thats engine is frozen up (rusted). I feel angry when a known drunk bum ask me for money when i know he is just going to drink it up. Especially knowing he also lives ina house. Why would i waste my blood money in such a way. If i know someone that needs food however, i would be more than happy to give them food from my house and then direct then in the direction of some nearby food banks.
@nerein (283)
• United States
29 May 11
There have been times in which I have tried to help people but could not. There is one person in particular. Now don't get me wrong in her heart she is a nice person but she just has so many problems that I just could not help her. One main thing that made me unable to help her is that she does nothing to better herself or her life. She refuses to take her medications. She refuses to get therapy for her problems. As well she refuses to do other things that would solve a lot of her problems. Now after dealing with people like her I have to say this. If a person does not do what it takes to better themselves and to get the help that they need then you can not help that person. Because before a person can get help they need to realize that they need help. Now once they realize that they need help they need to keep going on and utilizing the help that they get. As well people can only change when they are ready to change and not before. But once that happens it is easy to help a person. Now there are other people that I have help and was easy to help because they did what it took to accept the help and follow through with the help that was given to them.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
29 May 11
People who need to change but refuse generally will hurt until it's easier to change. We must contiue to point them in the right direction. People do change in time but they usually think it was their idea. This is OK for the results are all that matter. Don't give up. Give lots of love and kindness as you point. People tend to listen more to the loving and kind people. Through it all you can be so wonderful just by being there.
• United States
29 May 11
Yes, sometimes because they can't/won't pursue my solution..Other times because my bravado put me in a situation I couldn't handle (dumb me!) and yes, I do feel bad when things aren't workable. But I think that the lesson is for both because the experience itself is a lesson..Enjoy!
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
29 May 11
Great attitude. Yes, there is always learning in our journey. One could never use the terms (dumb me!) when you carry such wisdom. Somehow all those pesky problems do get worked out. The important thing is not to leave the learning behind.
• Mexico
29 May 11
Hi bird: It has happened to me. Sometimes it's not in your hands to help someone because of their problems, but at least I try to express my support to a friend or family member with a huge problem. Maybe I don't have the solution but IO make my best effort to be with him/ her. Actually, if you can at least make this person feel that he/she is not alone and that you are here for him/her, that's another way to help. And also praying for him/her. ALVARO
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
29 May 11
Yes, a little love, kindness, and encouragement can go a long way. It is the least we can do. We are all meant to overcome our problems. They aren't near as scary with company.
• United States
28 May 11
I dont think you should feel bad. I believe that when you help someone it is up to them to let you help them and for the help to work. When a person wants help then when you help them it will show. If they really dont want the help it will also show, but you should never feel bad that you tried to help someone and it didnt work.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
29 May 11
Yes, I guess there are a few people, out of pride,that will refuse help no matter what. Little do they realize that they often get help and don't realize it.
@Gordano (792)
• United States
28 May 11
I think you are absolutely right when you said: you have shown the goodness in you regardless of whether your actions achieved what you wanted. yes, it is your intention that matters, regardless of whether your actions achieved what you wanted, the prophet Muhammad once said: Actions are (judged) according to intentions, and every man shall have that which he intended .... you indeed show the goodness in you when you intend to help.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
28 May 11
What we give the world will be the lesson returned to us. In this case it will teach us how to love unconditionally.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
28 May 11
For me yes they are but i don't want to be strong but if I wouldn't it is okey?.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
28 May 11
Sometimes the greatest strength is simply being there with your love, support and encouragement for someone. You are stronger than you realize.
@rokudaime (339)
• Australia
28 May 11
Hi Bird! Oh yes I did many times. In fact, just recently I happen to help one of my so called friends. However, it turned out that I got all the blame from her. You see, this girl was misunderstood by our colleagues and I tried to defend her. In my effort to defend her, she blamed me and even accused me of Judging her. In this case, it was me who was judged of judging her. My goodness! In as much as we wanted to extend a helping hand, some people would tend to misinterpret it and turn the tide against us. Ohh life!
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
28 May 11
People can be defensive. Often to do this people use blame. They do this to place attention on someone else. Smile at her, give her a hug and tell her It's a good thing you were around. In mankind's view, blame is a very important thing. It is meanless to me. Results are all that counts. Everyone can blame me if it will help people walk in the right direction. With unconditional love and kindness, let's not forget to point them in the right direction regardless of any blame. It is the right thing to do. It is the only way to be. Blame me. I can take it, my friend. Then when they are all looking at you. Show them all what's really important.
• Philippines
28 May 11
We are all willing to help those who need especially when the call for help is our relatives or friends... it sometimes happened to me i thought i could solve the problem of one of my close friend but when i found out that her problem is not easy to solve and not anyone able to slove it so i disgusted to myself although my friend can understand... i feel bad... at that time i said to her i could help through praying... then she smiled at me and at the same time her tears drip.
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
28 May 11
Love is truly the greatest pain killer. Just giving love, support, and encouragement can give someone else the strength to overcome anything. Very good point on your part. Being There is something all of us can do for others.
@tammy27 (1247)
• Philippines
28 May 11
oh you bet i have. many of my friends ask me for advice since they know im reading tons of psych and counseling books. but there are still times that i cant give concrete advices to them.i just try my best to let them understand things. :)
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
28 May 11
I always tell people to listen to the advice of others but walk your own path. So many times the learning is in the doing. If they are prevented from doing, they could never really learn the real lesson. Experience is truly the best teacher. Though it hurts when our efforts do not accomplish what we want, it should never stop us from trying to help others. I will always define myself as helpful, loving, and kind regardless of the obstacles I encounter toward that goal.
• Calgary, Alberta
28 May 11
It happen to me many times in different ways. There is a time that I want to have a person financially but I am financially broke as well. I want to help people but selfish as it may sound I need to prioritize myself Because this world is the survival of the fittest. There is also a certain point in my life where I want to help person in a couple of people but help is useless because they don't want to help themselves. I gave my fist guide them and help them that they just don't listen .
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
28 May 11
It is important to point people in the right direction. When they are ready to change they will remember the direction you pointed. Often change comes slowly, but it comes to everyone.