I wish i knew who are real people here and who are not...don't you wish either?

@jaiho2009 (39079)
Philippines
May 30, 2011 6:16am CST
One mylotter asks me how i deal with people who are pretending to be "a friend" here in mylot. How will i know then? How i wish i knew who are those people. If they are counting me as real friend and not just a plain internet/online friend -THANKS A LOT- it's hard to find real ones i know. And i know i found few real ones-thanks to them (no need to mention their names-they knew and feel very well,more than words can say) and i am still knowing new friends -wishing they are real ones too.(^_^) Just ranting- (+_+) sorry if i poured vinegar to your wounds!
5 people like this
32 responses
• United States
30 May 11
What is real and what is not is all a matter of perspective, I think. We are all people on here regardless of whether or not we can actually see the other people - what they look like, what they sound like, their expressions and body language. Some are true and express themselves in a way that is honest, even if they do not reveal every single detail of their lives. In fact, I have read many people that say it is far easier to be honest with their deepest feelings and emotions on here than it is to express those same things to people in their off-line life. Besides, even friends off-line do not necessarily share every single detail of their lives with each other. There are other people that hide and are not truthful on-line. They pretend to be someone or something they are not, but that is not something that is found only on-line. I am sure that we all know people that are phoney off-line as well, and they too hide behind a mask, even though you can see their face. Which is real and which is not? Sometimes it is difficult to tell, even if they are sitting right in front of you.
2 people like this
@topffer (29495)
• France
30 May 11
Some very strict professors when they come down from the dais are in reality fun and enjoy life when they are with friends. Some persons need a mask to feel in security, and don't remove it easily.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
It's true,some people can release their true emotions here than talking with real people in front of them. When i joined mylot- and until now,this become my shock absorber. This become my daily diary-my online diary. I feel free to express all my emotions here. I have real off-line friends whom i met online,i met them 4 years ago from a social sites and our friendship is getting stronger and deeper each other,few are also here in mylot now. I've seen few people here in mylot who not real - reported to admin and their account being deleted- i've witnessed a few already since i joined here.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 May 11
Yes, there are those that wear a mask to hide and feel more secure, because they have been hurt in the past. There are also those that need to appear one way in their professional lives but are different in their personal lives. I do not necessarily think that is as much a mask as it is a necessity of their occupation unless ones goes totally against the other. For example, if a professor is lecturing about the sanctity of life and trying to get people motivated to become vegetarians to adhere to these beliefs and yet at home he is a cannibalistic murder, then that would definitely be a big, fat mask!
1 person likes this
@topffer (29495)
• France
30 May 11
At myLot like in real life, we have "friends" and "friends". Some are only relationships and some others are true friends, but we need time to sort out who are the true ones. Generally, when you are in difficulty and you need your friends, it is faster to find the true ones and to see how fast the other ones are turning their back. If you were absent from myLot since a long time, who has been worried and has tried to contact you ? If you needed help in a discussion, who jumped in your box to take your defense ? If one of your discussion has no responder, who has made a superhuman effort to respond to your boring topic ?
2 people like this
• United States
30 May 11
2 people like this
@topffer (29495)
• France
30 May 11
Morning, purple .
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
Now i know what to take note. who are worried (^_^) but i like the other one a superhuman to made effort
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
30 May 11
As i don't trust people sweetie, online or in the real world, i don't really make friends. Maybe one day i'll get over it and start making friends.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
dear saphy, I knew you before you accepted my FR dearie
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
30 May 11
I know sweetie. Look where it brought me though.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
I know now how to settle things with you...vodka and i've learned to like vodka either
@dpk262006 (52840)
• Delhi, India
30 May 11
Hi Jai! It is not an easy task to know how is the pretender or pretending to be your friend . I think you need to your intuition and experience to sense who are your real friends. Real friends will always be with you in your thick and thin and they will be consistent in their approach.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
hey hey...it's your advice to stay with my honesty right? shall i? or will i become a little bit evil this time
@dpk262006 (52840)
• Delhi, India
31 May 11
You be as you are. I meant to say that if a friend of yours is consistent in his/her approach towards you and does not change, it means s/he is your real friend. (I submitted the response in a hurry, please re-read it as under:) It is not an easy task to know who is the pretender or pretending to be your friend . I think you need to use your intuition and experience to sense who are your real friends. Real friends will always be with you in your thick and thin and they will be consistent in their approach.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
31 May 11
yeah...i need to be more observant ...who's real and who were pretenders
@Aaleexix (2291)
• India
30 May 11
Actually none pretending to be friend here. Everyone that use mylot are friends. Real friend, internet friend...... Actually I can't understand why people says net friends are not real. Though this is a virtual world ..... though we are virtual friend but we all are real. Behind every user name there is a real person. But the characteristic of this new concept after arrival of internet is little difference. We all are element of this virtual world. But every virtual character there is a real character behind.
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
hello Alex, I never count internet friends are not real ones. I found my real/best friends from the net 4 years ago. I met a set of good friends from a social sites and then we decided to met in person and with GOD's blessings we are about to celebrate our 4th year of friendship. So-i never ever pretend here on the net. that is why i don't care if people who asks friendship here is true or not-it's their prerogative right. you can check my profile and see those people whom i met from the net and in real life- i posted few pictures.
@Aaleexix (2291)
• India
30 May 11
Yes some good friend may be gain from internet. As like real life in virtual life too some pretender are there. But the concept of pretender are only there in virtual world is not correct.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
well-i am discussing here in mylot and my topic is specific with people here in mylot and i never said that pretenders cannot be found in real life.
@isloooboy (1741)
• United Arab Emirates
30 May 11
Well its very hard to find friends online. First thing first I don't believe on net gender because mostly they are fake or use fake names. Even thought I found some good friends online and we talk and chat daily but still there is hidden fear in my mind which is stuck with me I don't know why and how I can get rid of this fear but its true. I think we all are friends because of our common interest which is earning some extra bucks online and also learn some new things regarding how to earn more. So good luck friend CHeers
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
I don't blame you for having doubts with internet people. But i can tell you that my circle of friends that i have right now are people from the net. I met them from social sites and met in person and now we're having close relations for 4 years. One family comes from India and we're having a good relationship with them. Regularly we visits them and they visited me too here in my house for dinner and vice versa. I hope you will find one good reason to fully trust people online.
@isloooboy (1741)
• United Arab Emirates
30 May 11
Well you are lucky enough who got friends whom you can meet physically as well, I was talking about those far far away friends whom we cannot be able to meet physically. Otherwise I have so many online friends but being human we have nature to wish to meet them in natural way.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
Read again friend- i have Indian friends as far as India-met them thru internet. They're going to India this July for a visit and how i wish to come with them,many times they're inviting me to go with them-maybe one of these days.
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 May 11
Hi di What happened di? Why upset? mamu at fault? He is absconding since a few days... I have some great friends and I know I am real and my di knows that, my mamu knows that and all those who know me know that. Those who dont, I feel for them not me, because they lost me as a friend... and some more will be friends here in the days to come...
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
dear sids, Nah..hehehe..thu your mamu can't resist his bar habit-he's not to blame here (he's in bar again) I am just getting to know who are those people trying to be nice (ha ha ha) nice huh... wait till they seen your Di having horns
@isloooboy (1741)
• United Arab Emirates
30 May 11
Sid is friend of friends that I know and thats why I agree with him absolutely.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
@ isloo, i know my sids...as he knows his Di
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
1 Jun 11
In fact do we need to pretend to be friends as long a we all ca be good friends here. This is the few little time we can relax and be frank and forget everything and be good friends. As long as for me, here all are nice and good friends, may have some difference of opinion on certain subject, which is natural. Otherwise, I think this online friendship I enjoy very much because some times we cannot maintain the same mood if we may get a chance to meet each other. So, I think we need not pretend and can be good friends as most of us know well through the time, here. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
hello thanks, i can understand if everyone has same thinking like yours. But not everyone can be nice always and when we disagree to their posts,they feel being outsmarted and then explode and show their true colors. Why can't they show their true self from the start then-to avoid misunderstanding and trouble. Thanks for your response i am just venting out,i am fine now
• India
2 Jun 11
Hi dear, Feel good to know you are fine. As you said, there may be always agreements and disagreements. All depend on person to person, and if someone has some kind of disagreement or different opinion, they should come up with better views and their genuineness. They should not aggressive or possessive. After all, we all are grown up and know what is what and all should know that we all come up with opinions, and not forcing anyone to anything. I hope all others will really understand this real fact. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
i understand one real fact here... not everyone is matured enough, sometimes i feel guilty,i might be acting like a kid (whatever) all i know is that,i never pretend to be a goody-goody (but not too evil hehehe) Thanks again you changed your avatar (is that you dear?)
@SIMPLYD (73924)
• Philippines
31 May 11
When i respond to a discussion , i really cannot tell if the answer was sincere. But as i meet them again on some discussions and get to read their responses as well as their started discussion, i could more or less discern a part of their personality, Consequently get to know if they are for "real". Don't you think i am a real person, Jaiho?
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
31 May 11
hello simplyd, i do believed you are one of those real people here in mylot. See,you are now even aware that i checked your photo's each time you posted a topic that is related with your life/family/daughter. That's who i observe friends here in mylot. So i can say,you are one of those real ones
@SIMPLYD (73924)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
Thanks for saying so, Jaiho! I feel the same way with you.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
hehehe...typo err That's who "how" i observe friends here in mylot. Most Filipino friends that i know here posted their own photo's ...that's what i've observed...so i believed they're really looking for true friendship as well my dear
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
31 May 11
yes how i wish. I have an online life for like years now..and well, i have very very few real friends online and what is more sad most of them are busy these days...but how i wish i have one, so i could pour whatever is on my mind anytime without hesitation... and i have no idea how to know if one is real or not. weird. feels sad.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
31 May 11
How i also wish to know who's real and who's not jazel. That is why i feel so bad,that someone we treat as real friend suddenly shows it's true colors. let's just be careful and learned our lessons with dealing those kind of person. have a great day always
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
31 May 11
true true jai, but i am not Jazel, that is the name of my daughter and son - jazel and juan ( yes juan! and the third is jhon) well, and i am Jave, brother Letran knows that..well because we are friends in fb..or used to be friends in fb..but i deleted it.. lol. You can learn to know me and vice versa, i still have available rooms for true friends because i have very few.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
31 May 11
there is always room for true ones my dear...and true friends never comes late
@vnrsudhan (1514)
• India
30 May 11
Hi jaiho, Yup,it'd be great if we could spot fake users on first sight.I just hate it when someone gives me a friend request and then i accept it and they give me referral links telling me to join,i just silently delete them and ignore them,lol. Everyone on my friend list and even a few others who're not on my friend list.lol,hmmmm,to make it clear,anyone i get into discussion with,i consider them my good friends, and speak to them,just as i do to my friends in person.I may not be in touch with all of them,but still i know they are my true friends and are there for me,when i need them. Happy mylotting!
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
hello sudhan, I also deleted few who just added me for their referral links. We cannot avoid those kind of people here-let's bear they won't stay long anyway. thanks for your response and have a great day
1 person likes this
@vnrsudhan (1514)
• India
30 May 11
You have a great day too!
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 May 11
i am as real online as in the flesh. i write about real emotions as i feel them for real. every joy, every sadness, excitement, appreciation... every emoticon. even my username is the same name i use outside of mylot. how much more real can i possibly be... i try to be the same friend online and beyond the wonders of the internet. if others find it any different or unreal, it's beyond my control. i can only be myself. real people is a matter of perception. i would hope that everyone is. but if not, it is up to them. lol why would you pour vinegar to their wounds? it would hurt. hehe you can sprinkle salt. it's slow torture. just kidding!
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
30 May 11
dear myles no comment- we shared a lot of things already- only one thing is missing "wedding bells"
• Philippines
30 May 11
shall i haul in here the same wedding bells i got for you in another discussion? lol so that it won't be missed. hehe i could drag it around if you like.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
31 May 11
• China
31 May 11
Please do not expect this so much , actually internet is a big family but contains the different kind of person. but wanyway we just be well protected. if you meet someone in internet who are firendly and have a good talk just go ahead , but if you meet sb you are not like , just leaving him (her) alone . that is ok and not a big deal :)
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
31 May 11
Hello alan, thanks for your response and have a great day welcome to mylot
• China
1 Jun 11
you are welcome , also my pleasure !!
@krajibg (11942)
• Guwahati, India
30 May 11
Hi jaiho, In my view all are real people who post their discussion, comment or respond. You mean to say I guess, people as they reflect in their writings and the ones in real life. Conflict between virtual and real. Right? Out of so many friends in my list here less than 50% are not maintaining friendship. And as for me (oh I am not in your friends list I guess)I am as real as the tsunami and the global warming. Even if you are not official friend you would be treated with utmost care if you come down to out country and my place. Like you know shibham, he knows me. He has come to our house on several occasions. Any other proof?
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
31 May 11
hello krajibg, Nice to see you here. And thanks for your invite,and since you know Shiby personally what can i say more. have a good day always
@krajibg (11942)
• Guwahati, India
31 May 11
Thanks a lot.
• Mexico
4 Jun 11
Hi jaiho: Don't worry. I think it's virtually impossible to know if the feelings of a person that you just know or not are real. Even with that, when I discuss here with my friends I try to be as honest as possible. I express my feelings. If I see that one of my friends have a problem, I offer him/her my advice. Sometimes I have even felt worry when I am reading a sad story or happy with their goals. It's really weird because I don't even know most of your faces but it's good. I couldn't and also I don't want to be dishonest on the site. I say what I feel and I believe that most of us act this way. ALVARO
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
6 Jun 11
hello Alvaro, Being honest even in the internet should be and must be. I always tried to be honest everywhere..and i don't find any reason to lie..unless they are not asking about bank account number or personal info that might give us trouble. I want to be good friend,online and offline. I am thankful that you feel the same way- being honest always
@KrauseHome (32835)
• United States
3 Jun 11
Well, it is true. Many times you will have people, even here who are just wanting to add someone as a Friend only as a number, and then to never take time getting to know them as well. When I accept people as friends here I am hoping that these will be people I will get to know thru their discussions they start as well as when they take time to respond back to the ones I start. I know we will not always relate and have to skip some, but that is normal for sure.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
6 Jun 11
hello KH, I also do the same,i add people and wish to know them more thru discussion and having inter-action with them,thu sometimes we skipped a certain topic because we cannot relate with it. I only wish to have real friends here in mylot and in other social sites. thanks for your response and have a great day
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
Well as I try to speak for myself, although I don't reject invites from a lot of mylotters, I don't really have time to exchange private messages with them. I am so busy responding to discussions and thinking , at the same time, of the most exciting and interesting discussion I can host. I have been here for more than one year and although I bonded with some friends along the way, we never really got to have a constant continuous conversation. Honestly, I am here to respond to discussions and host some, not to socialize. (^_^)
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
hello lipstick, That's better,to have a specific distant with anyone and keep a very normal relationship,like responder and a topic starter. Thanks for your response and have a great weekend ahead
@neildc (17258)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
3 Jun 11
Hi sis. I also wish I have the right way to know who are real and who are not. But I am sure, just like you and me, we have found true friends, online and offline... Now I wish, I can find my way back online again, just like the old ways.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
hello neil, We missed you dear bro...where have you been and what keeps you busy now a days? Give our love and hugs to the little angel
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
31 May 11
I guess there is only one way to know who are real friends, be it real or online. It's through time. If they come through for you over and over again. Even if it isn't the big things. Just the little things, yet you see them around all the time, always helping you, then I would consider those are friends.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
You are right bounce---through time we can determine who will stay with us. have a great day always
@anil02 (2886)
• India
31 May 11
Don't believe on online friends at first look. You develop some relation by conversation on line you will find here some real friends.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
31 May 11
Of course- you still need to know that person,and not just trusting in an instant. It takes time knowing each other-even with off line friends. thanks for your response and have a great day