Putting up a strong front but about to crumble inside....

@secretbear (19466)
Philippines
June 24, 2011 4:39am CST
You want to show other people that you are strong and you don't wanna give up on the biggest challenge in life that you are facing. You want to show people that you are not backing down and leaving everything without a fight. And yet, inside you feel like you just want to end it all. Escape and leave everything behind. Avoid all the people that are making you suffer and let them rot in hell in all due time. Leave their fate to karma. Avoid the fight and ignore your pride. .
2 people like this
17 responses
@sjvg1976 (18386)
• Delhi, India
25 Jun 11
Hi Secretbear, It happens most of the time with me i also want to show people that i am strong but in actual i am not.Yes many times it happens that i want to show people that i have left without a fight & in my mind it is always there that why did not i finish it off why i left all i should have end it off. I know its easy to give lectures to others but when apply same to ourself then we find it difficult to apply.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jun 11
I think it is better sometimes just to make a clean break and walk away from those who are making your life miserable.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
I agree sjvg. When my friends feel the same way, I tell them to be strong. But it really is easier said than done especially when you're the one experiencing it. I guess what stopping me from doing that Pointless, is my pride. I don't want people to think that I am a loser and a coward.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (18386)
• Delhi, India
25 Jun 11
@PQ i think its always better to make a clean break but then its all nature which no can change but you yourself can change it which is very difficult. @Scretbear you are not the loser or coward this is very common and every one thinks like this.
1 person likes this
@potrish78 (742)
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
That is exactly what I'm feeling right now too. For Filipinos, it's traditional to stay with your parent's until you get married. But this set up is somehow choking because I take care of the majority of the household expenses. Sometimes, I think of leaving and be on my own but I also think of what would life be to my parents without me around. It's actually a confusing situation I'm in. But anyway, good luck to the both of us
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
First of all, I apologize for the misposting. This is supposed to be for another thread. But regarding your thread. I have felt that way in one way or another. Because all my life, people (friends and family) have always looked up to me. I needed to be strong all the time because most of the time, they get their strength from me and if I break down, what will happen to these people? It's really hard to put a facade; trying to be strong when you could barely handle things anymore. But if i feel this way, I normally pray.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
I guess that's what I really need now. Spiritual comfort. I haven't been going to church for a long long time.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
26 Jun 11
That's such a serious statement coming from u, secret ^^ U must be feeling very upset and have so much anger building up in u? We are humans, and we are often strong on the outside, vulernable on the inside. It's good when we are like this, because we are protecting ourself. At the end of any misunderstandings, misjudgement or whatever is there, we just have to find an outlet to vent our frustrations. That's the way of survival, secret ^^ Be strong in life, ignore what others are trying to do to u, u are u, strong and independant ^_^
1 person likes this
@glaiz_9 (367)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
An outlet to vent frustrations is one of the basic needs we need to have for survival. You should have even just one of this.
1 person likes this
@bagumbayan (2707)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
Just be yourself. Do good and good things will be with you. Do bad and bad will haunt you. Be strong and be yourself always. If you can fight fight but not hurting yourself. But the best for me is to keep it for yourself and somebody up there will help you out.
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
Thanks for the sound advice.
1 person likes this
@gleness1 (20)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
hi secretbear, I feel you. TO be strong is not that easy what's harder is staying strong all the way, like putting yourself to being rough and tough with the challenges in life because one way or another somehow, u just lose yourself and thinking of giving up. But then again life is about fighting and moving on. And i think you're one tough gal, just keep on moving and never forget to pray and lift it all to God Almighty. Stay strong! Godbless.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
Thanks gleness. I do believe that life is about fighting and moving on. I just hope this fight won't break me.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jun 11
Hi Secretbear, I think it is better to just walk away and let the trouble makers worry about themselves. I'd make a clean break and let the chips fall where they may. Karma does happen.. the law of averages will weigh out. What goes around will eventually come around to the people dishing it out.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
I agree with you on that. It's just hard to throw away pride. It's pathetic I know, but I guess that's just how I am.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
24 Jun 11
I've been feeling like that a lot lately. My marriage is falling apart. So much has happened over the last year. I'm trying to be strong but inside I feel like crawling in a hole and crying. I'm terrified to end my marriage, but I'm almost sure that it is what I want to do. I love my husband but he is no longer the guy that I need him to be and no matter how much I try to talk to him about it, he just doesn't get it. I'm not asking for much, I just want him to show he cares about me in some way. I'm scared to be a single mom of three kids and have to do everything on my own.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
That's a really tough situation. I don't know what kind of advice to give you since I'm also feeling what you're feelings. I guess, good luck to us both?
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
24 Jun 11
I try to never allow anyone to bring me down. I like the person that I am and I am very opinionated when it comes to my beliefs and so I usually am fairly head strong and strong-willed. My husband says that I am stubborn and anti-social, but if I am then that is okay as I like myself that way.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
Good for you! I wish I have your qualities.
1 person likes this
@megamatt (14330)
• United States
24 Jun 11
In life there are many masks. We try and hide behind a facade of strength a lot of the times. We don't want no one to see the fact that we might in fact be breaking down inside. That is a rather harsh road to go down for sure. So when we are mentally breaking down or even in a physical manner, it is really a scary situation to say the least. Often time, you can tell that a person is crumbling, because they are putting in such an over the top performance where they want us to think that something is not wrong with them. However someone who is that happy, if it seems so fake, there are going to be a lot of times where it is going to be obvious that it is very wrong. Not all of the time granted, but there are many times. There are going to be a lot of people that are going to smile through life, but on the inside there is something more than very wrong. You can see a person slowly break down on the inside and it is really a bad situation. It is going to do more harm than good for these people, as they try and put on that happy face, but on the inside, they are doing really bad.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
What makes it difficult is that if the person who is trying her best to put up a strong front but breaking inside is the kind of person who don't show her emotions, who don't tell others what she really feels and just waiting for someone to notice it.
1 person likes this
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
24 Jun 11
I believe many of us have felt that way at one time or another in our journey through life. I think it is always easier to give up than to continue struggling against what seems at times to be all odds. It is a lifelong process to develop our capacity to transcend over adversity and reach the goals we set. Our capacity to transend is strengthened through spiritual therapy and meditation. Find a way to lift your spirits and take time for personal intraspection and relaxation.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
Thanks. It is indeed a lifelong process that we learn how to overcome adversity. And people have learn different ways in doing so. It's just that at times, we learn the hard way and some take the worst way of overcoming it.
1 person likes this
@nurseclare (2210)
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
I know how you feel Just bear in my mind that you're a strong individual and nobody can pull you down. KEEP THE SPIRIT UP! :)
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
Thanks.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
Well one of life's challenges. There are so many people out there who show this front. But what's heartbreaking is that no one notice that this people is hurting inside, even though there are hints. Well, just be strong. You're not alone. Just think that there are others out there like you. Who keeps the front everyday, and suffer silently.
1 person likes this
@glaiz_9 (367)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
As long as you still want to do it. Just go on and do it. You shouldn't care about other people even though their comments really hurt. Actually, I'm in this situation, the weird thing is the one who criticize me is my relatives, and that sometimes really hurt.. But since I have my family and friends backing me up, I don't care what my relatives say anymore, that's how simple it is, :)
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
27 Jun 11
Well in a way. I don't want anyone to rot in hell....but I do keep up a big front for others to see. When someone asks me about something I have achieved..well it's hard not to give up sometimes....and then when you finally do....everyone finally asks. I know what you mean....but if I give up its my own decision and no one else has a hand in it!
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12072)
• India
25 Jun 11
I know a few people like that but they seem to be going crazy inside their head. I don't show my emotions easily but I have my outlets and talking about it doesn't always help. Though I've also considered the escape route, I'm not sure if it will work or maybe I just don't have the strength to follow through.
1 person likes this
25 Jun 11
be nice to ur love ones and be good to all people u know who good to u and u feel so good if ur love ones is see u happy..
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
well, am not sure what you're saying here. but were not super human and we do have ups and downs.