It's not my business but what they did was disapppointing

@secretbear (19466)
Philippines
July 11, 2011 10:33pm CST
So I have these friends, Tinky Winky, Dipsy and Lala. Dipsy and Lala are in a relationship. We went overnight swimming together with our other friends over the weekend. And then I learned just today, that Lala and Tinky Winky did some hanky panky behind Dipsy's back before we went home after the swimming. One of my friends, Po saw them. According to Po, Lala approached Tinky Winky first in the boy's room and made out, while Dipsy was just outside doing some cleaning. Po approached Lala and asked her what the hell she was doing. Lala ignored her. Po left the door of the boy's room opened but Lala closed it again. Po opened it and told Lala we should all be going home soon. Lala was annoyed but couldn't do anything about it. She was in a bad temper that morning and pretended to have a headache while Dipsy did all he can to take care of her. Tinky Winky was acting like nothing happened. I was really disappointed with the both of them when I learned about this. And yet, I couldn't tell them what I think because I don't think it's my business to meddle with their affairs. But I really pity Dipsy. He's a good friend of mine as well as Lala and Tinky Winky. We've been together through bad times and good times. I didn't think this sort of thing could happen. But I reasoned out to myself, maybe they were just really drunk that time. And I argued to myself, too that even if people are drunk, they know what they are doing and just couldn't control it. But in situations like that, they should have controlled themselves for the sake of decency. I just decided that if that continues, I will tell them what I think. If it doesn't, well, I guess that's just spur of the moment, spur of the alcohol and I'll let everything passed.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
19 Jul 11
What character are u playing then, secret?? haha ^_^ Such cute characters u have here in your happening here.. haha IS Po related to tinky winky in any way? If not, when all of them are adults, they are free to do whatever they want, freedom to do so. They might be drunk, but who knows their urge and desire has been building up way before the group meets up on the weekend? Dun be bother too much about it, len ^^ They are all adults now, and they should know how to handle the situation :)
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
I was just the sleeping spectator Kun. Actually I am not sure if I was still asleep when that happened or if I was swimming. Po and Tinky Winky are friends. We are all friends Kun. And who's Len Kun? I'm Secretbear.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
25 Jul 11
haha :) Swimming? When all of u are drinking, and yet u dare to swim? Ain't u afraid of drowning when the alochol kicks in, secretbear?? lol I thought u would have open their room door, and let everyone swim together.. haha
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
2 Aug 11
5m is not that deep? IT's taller than u and me, combined, secret!! haha Even a 2m pool can drown a fit adult not to mention someone drunk?? hehe That's too dangerous, and now i understand why the happenings happen to them.. haha
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@drannhh (15229)
• United States
13 Jul 11
You are probably right to stay out of it, but I must agree and say that being drunk does not excuse this kind of behavior, Still it is better that Dipsy finds out now than later. I guess if they cared what you thought they would not have done this, so maybe I wouldn't say anything about it. I would never trust those friends again, though.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Hi drannhh. You comment made me sad. I don't really like to lose trust to them. We've been good friends for a long time. I'm sure we can find a way through all of this.
2 people like this
@drannhh (15229)
• United States
14 Jul 11
Aw shucks, don't be sad.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 11
That sucks. You're right, it's none of your business, but you still feel the need to do something because they're your friends and you care about them. I've had friends in this situation (thankfully not a lot of my friends have been in this pickle!) and what everyone says is what I'll say to you: Don't tell Dipsy anything just yet. You can go ahead and air your thoughts and feelings to Tinky Winky and Lala. Just because you're telling them what you think about the situation, it doesn't mean that you're meddling. You'd be meddling when you're actually telling what to do or if you're manipulating them into doing something that they have no choice about. Dipsy will have to be kept in the dark about this whole thing and it's better of he found out through Lala herself. However, if Dipsy asks you about anything, you should answer truthfully and by that time, you'll have given your piece of mind to Lala and Tinky Winky. I hope everything gets resolved and soon. You're in the right to be feeling bad about the situation, but the situation does not lie in you. I hope everyone finds peace of mind about this situation soon.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
12 Jul 11
Hi redmaryjane! I agree that Dipsy should not learn about this from anybody except from Lala herself. I wouldn't want that Lala would think I'm meddling with their affairs. I think I might talk to Tinky Winky and have a serious conversation with him. What happened really bothered me, still bothering me. Thanks for the advice.
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Po was annoyed with Lala. When he opened the door to prevent Lala and Tinky Winky from having privacy again, Lala also got annoyed with Po.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
14 Jul 11
That is a tough situtation. I think that Dipsy will be broken hearted if he finds out...he will eventually. People that do that kind of stuff never get away with it forever. I don't know what I would do in your postition. I might ask Lala what she was thinking...or maybe Tinky Winky. If you are really close friends and talk about stuff, it should be ok to talk about what you heard. Take care and good luck!
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@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
We haven't talked about stuff like that because it hasn't happened before. We do talk about our love life. I don't know. Maybe I just don't have the guts to talk to either of them. Thanks for the advice.
1 person likes this
@EdnaReyes (2628)
• Philippines
14 Jul 11
If you can still hold on with this kind of thing, better do as to not to get you in trouble and be accused of meddling with somebody's affairs. Things like this happen between friends and do keep friendship clean and intact, friends should act accordingly which what you did. Until something bad comes out of the incident, I think it's time to tell your friend that he has been cheated.
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@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
I think so, too. If something bad happens after this, I might have to make a move.
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@asyria51 (2870)
• United States
13 Jul 11
Knowing something like that sucks. and being in the middle sucks even more. It took me some time reading through to realize the whole story. I kept thinking back to when I was in the hospital 12 years ago and the only station I could get in was PBS and they apparently had a teletubbies marathon.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
I'm sorry it had that effect on you. I don't actually know why I used the teletubbies here.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
12 Jul 11
I have been in a situation like that with friends too...in fact one was married and playing games with others and I really liked her husband...so instead of saying anything....I dropped her like a hot potato...I think it stinks!
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
I don't want to drop anyone. They've been my friends for so long.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 11
The good thing here is that you are aware that is not your business. So from here on out regardless of what happens you can let it go.
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@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Yes, I'm aware of that. But if they continue to cheat on our friend, I think I can't just sit back and watch.
@RJlady1 (144)
• United States
12 Jul 11
I'd probably talk to the cheating friends just to tell them how uncomfortable that situation made me feel. I wouldn't say anything to Dipsy, though. Good luck with this. Hopefully it was a "slip" that won't happen again.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Hi! I really hope that it's just a "slip" like you said it. I don't want some tension among us. Worst, a friendship being broken.
• India
12 Jul 11
Hi Bear, Its been a long long time that I’ve come across a discussion of your’s…maybe coz I too am not very regular here! How are you and how’s everything at your place? I completely agree with everything you’ve mentioned…while its none of your business, but as close friends, we do like to help each other out and if one of them do something that’s quite immoral, then as part of the team, we too feel bad. And what I feel is that if we don’t really have the authority to say something on such issues, then we shouldn’t be friends at all…after all, such polite distance is maintained between acquaintances and not friends. Also think about the other girl Dipsy…don’t you feel that when she comes to know of this, she’ll accuse you of not informing her or not being on ‘her’ side!
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
12 Jul 11
Hi sudipta! I haven't been posting discussions and just responding to other discussions that's why. I'm good thanks, and I hope so do you. ^^ Dipsy might get angry at us for not telling him but he should also realize that we probably feel that we are not in the position to tell him about it. Lala might get angry at us. Either way, whoever of them we decide to tell about what happened, someone will get annoyed at us. I think that's part of being friends but as much as possible, we want to avoid it.
• Philippines
12 Jul 11
I love how you used the Teletubbies characters in this. Haha! Well, I've never been drunk before so I don't know how wild a person can get when drunk. But as you've said, even if a person is drunk, he or she should still know what they are doing even if they couldn't control it. Maybe something was already happening before between Lala and Tinky Winky, even before that overnight swimming weekend. As for the meddling part, if you're a true friend, you should meddle. It is your business if it involves your loved ones (in this case, your dear friends) getting hurt. You may turn out to be the bad guy in Lala and Tinky Winky's eyes, but you should know that what you did is right. Some meddling can be a huge mess sometimes, but not trying to even fix it and help your friends would be worse. But try to observe first what happens next. You can wait for the right timing, or try to talk to one of them casually.
@secretbear (19466)
• Philippines
12 Jul 11
We actually think that Lala might have been hiding feelings for Tinky Winky for a long time and at that time, she couldn't control it anymore. If that was the case, then all the more we are annoyed to what she did because in the first place, she shouldn't have gone into a relationship with Dipsy. Anyhow, I will observe first what will happen and decide on what to do if ever anything like it happens again.