Beyond Stupid

@enigma13 (372)
Philippines
August 13, 2011 5:45am CST
My father-in-law is a chain smoker. He is a pain in the tush. A self-proclaimed know-it-all. He can finish 2 packs of cigarettes a day. Frankly, I couldn't care less if he wants to burn his lungs out. But the thing is, he smokes inside the house. Their house is always frequented by his grand kids. He does not care how much second hand smoke everyone else inhales. Did I mention that he has asthma? Every time he's having asthma attacks, he lights another stick and then pester everyone to buy him medicine. For someone who claims to be a know-it-all, he is undeniably stupid... way beyond stupid.
1 person likes this
4 responses
• United States
13 Aug 11
You can't control what your father-in-law does, especially in his own house. However, you can control whether or not your children are exposed to the second-hand smoke. You could sit down and have a talk with him. You can tell him that it is not healthy for the children. Then, he will have to make a decision. If he wants the children to keep coming to his house, then he can choose to smoke outside. Otherwise, you can tell him that he can come to your house to see his grandchildren, but you can also tell him that you will not allow smoking in your house, either, so he will have to smoke outside or wait until after the visit to smoke. I hope that he will realize that what he is doing is unhealthy for his grandchildren and respect that you stood up and are trying to do for them.
@enigma13 (372)
• Philippines
13 Aug 11
I know. It just ticks me off everytime. Talking to him is not an option unfortunately. We already had a row before and it didn't solve anything. Everytime he is smoking my son automatically goes outside. As for him having a realization, it might be too late for that. =(
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Aug 11
I am so sorry to hear that, especially the fact that you tried to talk with him and let him know how you feel and it only caused problems. It is a very difficult situation. There are places that I will not go, because I know that the people smoke, and I will not expose my children to it. Fortunately, most of them understand and will come to my house if they want to visit, and they will smoke outside. In turn, if it is a nice day, then I might drop by their house for a little while if we are able to sit on the porch or in the yard, but we can't stay for long as we can't go inside even to go to the bathroom.
@enigma13 (372)
• Philippines
13 Aug 11
It is. We only go there because of my mother-in-law. She's such a nice lady. There are a lot of smokers who are considerate of other people. Unfortunately, he's not one of them.
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
20 Aug 11
Smoking is a very strong addiction and while it is stupid it is very hard to stop. I don't think he should be smoking around others though especially children because second hand smoke can be very harmful to people, and not fair since they are not the ones smoking but could suffer for it in the future anyways. If he wants to smoke he should do it outside or when no one else is in the house.
@enigma13 (372)
• Philippines
21 Aug 11
I don't think that he should smoke inside the house or near his grand children as well but he's really hard-headed and couldn't care less for what others say. So the only solution is to stay away from him while he's smoking.
@diala84 (139)
• United States
14 Aug 11
It isn't stupid it is his attempt to justify an unhealthy habit. Narrowing your perception is the easiest way to believe what comes out of your mouth. We have a hard time going against our own sense of right and wrong. When we do something that we know is wrong it is easier to justify it rather than admit the mistake. I've met a lot of smokers that try to overcompensate by making bold statements about there addiction and even trying to laugh it off as if it is some kind of joke. ex. "I'd rather die tomorrow than give up smoking or It's my right to kill myself the way I want to" Some of this may be a stubborn attitude and some may be that they know quitting is harder than justifying their smoking to others. My advice is that the grandkids shouldn't be over there if if he keeps smoking in the house period. If he wants to see them you can find places outside the house or he can smoke outside at least when the kids are there. If he comes over to your house you can make a rule that he needs to smoke outside. Parents get the final say on this matter.
@enigma13 (372)
• Philippines
14 Aug 11
Hmmn... That's a very logical take on my in-laws actions. Good point diala. I still think it's stupid to smoke while you are having asthma attacks though. ;D
@QeeGood (1214)
• Sweden
13 Aug 11
His smoking is a health risk for everyone nearby him. Does he loves his grandchildren or does he want them to get sick caused of his smoking would be a fatal question to ask him. If he has asthma he is really torturing his own body as well spreading contaminated air around him.
@enigma13 (372)
• Philippines
13 Aug 11
He is really unreasonable. I'm not sure if he still cares about the people around him. It just ticks me off everytime. Never fails to.