Is it possible?

Malaysia
September 4, 2011 10:53pm CST
On the way home just now, mom again mention that if I had recover from depression then I should go out for offline job. Because we seek a medium just last week for medicines. However, I did not gave an answer to my mom coz I don't want to dissappoint her. Deep inside, I know what my heart wants. I want to work for myself. And I do not expect a fixed income every month. Just that if I work more then I can get more money, if I don't then I will try to use as little as possible. I have told her many times about this but everytime when it is good weather or possibility for a good conversation with me, she will bring up this working topic. She said I will help her financially that I do not need to ask money from father anymore. I know, I am trying to make money so that I can survive but office job is not my type. I don't like being monitored. At school is different, we study to graduate but after that life isn't a bed of roses for me its like a routine. And she said only if I have a job then boyfriend will come to seek me. I am mad. What if I do what I want and don't bother other people as long as I don't hurt anyone? Is it possible?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@huilichan8 (1379)
• Singapore
5 Sep 11
Actually, it's possible for you to do whatever you want and not be bothered about what other people think. Do you have siblings who might be able to speak to your mom about the matter? If not, maybe you could try to explain to your mom that there are online jobs that are long-term (It's true!). So, the only difference or the main difference is that you do not have to go to an office.
• Malaysia
5 Sep 11
I have a junior brother who is a lawyer but he is moved out already almost 1 year ago. He is very kind as he supports me if I am happy then he is but not financially. I wanted to talk to him about my mom's behaviour soon. Maybe he can sort out the thing between me and mom and I can do any job as long as I want.
• Singapore
5 Sep 11
I think it's a good idea to get your brother to speak with your mom. Since he supports you (tho' not financially), I am sure he would want you to be happy and to do a job that you have a interest in. All the best and have a great wk!:)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 11
ya
5 Sep 11
Hello, I can see where you are coming from. You want to work for yourself etc. but there isn’t enough money to be made online, not unless you have 15-20 hours a day to sit online! And you need sleep! And free time! It’s not practical and it will NEVER support you financially.. not unless you actually find a really great money making scheme.. and you should know what that is already before you even THINK about quitting your job! To open an online business you need a product, capital. Do you have these things? .. it’s not never going to support you and you will end up relying on your parents for everything and you will prove them right. Why don’t you try a different job? If an office job doesn’t suit you.. what about a factory? Or a warehouse? Where you are working online, and you have a set amount of stuff to do from 9-5 or whatever, and you do it.. on your own, no people, just work solid. You could put your earphones in and just listen to your music and work away.. and you usually have the option of overtime, where you could work extra hours and have a good bit of money saved up, so if you ever do want to try the online thing again, then take a week off, and work solidly at the online thing and see how it goes for you :) Good luck!
• Malaysia
5 Sep 11
Thank you. Yes, I am thinking of doing data maintenance at home. Am searching on the internet right now.
@francesca5 (1344)
5 Sep 11
hello wongchoiyee, well at least you know your mother cares about you, even if what she wants for you isn't what you want. the trouble is there are bullies amongst the online community too, and they have the advantage of anonymity, to make it even easier. i think you need really to work out how to deal with difficult people, as it is that that makes you vulnerable, in work. though i do keep wondering if it might be worth looking for the sort of work that means you are less likely to meet bullies, people who work in jobs helping other people are less likely to be bullies, though i can't guarantee there are none there at all, as in the UK older people in care homes are very vulnerable to being bullied by carers, for example, so you have to be careful!
5 Sep 11
i agree! you should be very greatful you have a mother so concerned for your future and well being! alot of people are left to their own devices when they reach a certain age!
• Malaysia
5 Sep 11
@francesca5 I know what you are saying. I thought of helping people who are also depressed and I not yet found but am looking as it is flexible hours too.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
7 Sep 11
Well, I think that there are different things that work for different people. For example, I put up with enough of the crap that goes on in offices and that is the reason that I really don't want to work in that way anymore because I don't like being monitored all the time and I don't like having someone say that the way that I'm doing things is not right when I'm able to get to the same end result doing things my way and frequently quicker than the more traditional methods. I think that you need to prove to your mother that what you are doing is working for you.
• Malaysia
8 Sep 11
The same is going on with me. My supervisor don't like the way I do my things and she always nag me. I don't like she nag me so I resign. Maybe I am stubborn but I did my thing though.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
5 Sep 11
Do I understand it right that your mother just want you to have a job so you don't need to ask for money anymore? Or does she want to force you into a certain job? The kind of job she thinks is the only good one? If you think your choice of a job is the best way to take care of yourself and feel satisfied (or even happy) do so. The only thing you need to do is to prove her and even if it's hard don't ask for money. If you are not able to do that at this moment look for an other job. See it as a start to what you really want. Nobody said you have to do that forever. It's just like school. Doing that (office) job is like graduating only to a higher level in your carreer. And if it comes to your last question: what more can anyone ask from you as not bothering and hurting other people and take care of yourself? Yes it is possible. If you believe in it jus prove it.
• Malaysia
6 Sep 11
Yes she wants me to get a job so that I won't ask money from dad anymore. And only in certain jobs she will approved me doing like office secretary, factory jobs no..no..
• Indonesia
5 Sep 11
hmmm, just like story of my life. well, give them something to make them trust to you. prove to them, that you can get money by yourself. and for me, man not try to found girl from her money, man should prepare money or anything for their lover, that you must know.
@ankitbhat (269)
• India
5 Sep 11
i think you should do what you are best but let me tell you offline work is the best thing if i was you i would perfer offline job and there is nothing like deperssion in this world ...it is just momentary just try to overcome it and you should be thankful to go that you have such a good and caring mom
5 Sep 11
i am also experiencing the same problem with my mom.but we should explain them in the proper manner,share our ideas and also ask them any idea.but when he is in angry better you dont speak any thing,you do concentrate your work.when he is in normal mood explain them and share your ideas. If you cant do this better you entirely stop to speak with your,this will reduce your depression and also your mom.
@marguicha (94665)
• Chile
5 Sep 11
Hi wongchoiyee, I can see that your mother cares for you. We, mothers, want our children to be on their own basically because we are afraid of what will happen to them when we get older and we are not able to help them. It happens to all of us. I hope that in your country it is easier to find a job as you wish. Here it is very difficult to find jobs with no fixed times. I helped supervising school work for little children with school problems at one time I needed some extra cash. But U knew well my job. Maybe you can do something of the sort too. Luck!!!