Do you believe in second chances??

United States
September 6, 2011 7:06pm CST
If someone you love betrays your trust do you give them a second chance? A third? A fourth? At what point do you finally decide it has been enough, and let that person go out of your life? Where do you draw the line? Personally, I expect alot out of people! I expect you to be trustworthy and loyal. We do not have to be enemies in this world. I get tired of hearing, "I'm sorry". Why don't people in this world make more of an effort not to do anything they may have to later apologize for? Your thoughts??
3 people like this
20 responses
@huilichan8 (1379)
• Singapore
7 Sep 11
I believe but then again, I am tired of giving certain people chances...my own father has betrayed my trust MANY TIMES. My former best friend betrayed me two times. Another friend betrayed me several times. In fact, there have been quite a lot of people who have betrayed me, so much so that I have lost trust in people generally. I always wonder why people would do that to me when I wouldn't even think of doing that to them? In the past, I wouldn't hesitate to keep giving people chances. Now, if anyone ever betrays me once, I wouldn't dare to trust him/her anymore. In fact, I would be on guard against him/her.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 11
I am sorry to hear you have been taken advantage of. It sounds like you have a kind heart! I think one just gets a feeling in their gut when they know they have had enough. When it comes to parents and loved ones making mistakes, you have to wonder if those people were directly trying to hurt you. If they were, then a second chance should be out of the question! However, if the person's actions indirectly hurt you, the relationship should be kept!
1 person likes this
• Singapore
7 Sep 11
Yup, I agree with you.:)
@knicnax (2234)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
welcome to mylot :) I give a lot of chances until I can handle it. If I don't like what I see then out you go. As for people doing things that they would later be sorry for, I'm sorry (pun intended) to say that people don't live in this world to please you. They live in order to make themselves happy, so if they put their happiness first, in the expense of hurting you, you can't actually blame them.
• United States
7 Sep 11
I can totally understand where your reasoning comes from. We are born alone and die alone and in between we try to stay happy! But what makes me the happiest is to put another person's feelings before my own. So, if someone I love were to 'put their happiness first, [at] the expense of hurting [me]', I can blame them and would be very upset. This world is too cut throat!
1 person likes this
@knicnax (2234)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
what's annoying is that you yourself is putting their happiness before yours and yet they don't seem to be doing the same for you. I hate it when that happens to me, but I guess we just have to live with it
• United States
7 Sep 11
I agree. It hurts when love is not reciprocated. But at the end of the day, you are the better person! It takes a strong person love without expecting anything back!
• United States
7 Sep 11
Hi Sweetaprillynn! Thanks for the friend request. And welcome to Mylot! It really depends on what trust was violated. I've learned from past experience not to give a man a second chance when he cheats on you. I've been there and done that and he did it again, so for me.. once a cheater always a cheater.. you don't get a second chance for that. You are more likely to get a second chance from me if you lie to me or steal from me, but you will never get a second chance if you cheat on me... no one has a second chance to take my heart and stomp on it.
• United States
7 Sep 11
Thanks for the warm welcome! I have read several comments you have posted and I like the way you think! Again, I have to agree with you on this one! I cannot forgive a cheater! My being won't even allow me. I will never live that down and would end up eating myself alive. I have to admit that I do not like a liar or a thief either! If I catch you taking from me, we are done! I am such a generous person, that no one should ever feel the need to take more from me! When it comes to a lie, I suppose it would depend. I take the person's intentions into consideration. If they were lying to spare my feelings, I may have to let that one go. But if a friend or loved one were to lie to me for their own personal benefit, I would be deeply hurt.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Sep 11
My used to be best friend stole or embezzled $700 from me a few years ago. I had some extra money in my checking account. I was sick for several months and I allowed her to have access to my checking account.. she helped herself to $700 without telling me. I discovered it later and asked for it back and she said she didn't have it... I walked out of her life for about 4 years.. I came back and knocked on her door... I decided that I wasn't going to let money or her stealing it stand in the way of our friendship. Things were great for awhile, but we gradually lost contact... I gave her a second chance.. but I'd never do it again... I'd never have anyone but family handle my affairs if anything else were to happen to me. I still love her, but I don't see her.
• United States
7 Sep 11
What a shame that a friend would steal money from you. You must have had some pity on the woman for some reason, because I would have never been able to give that person another chance. You sound sweet PQ! You deserve better friends than that!
@rose1717 (190)
• United States
8 Sep 11
I do not believe in second chances for everything. I grew up seeing what that did to my mom. My dad was always cheating on her and she kept taking him back. It killed her everytime he would do it again. So I do believe that some things are unforgivable, and I would not allow a second change, cheating would be one of those!
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
8 Sep 11
That is how I feel about that also.
• China
7 Sep 11
Hello sweet! I want to make friend with you !If someone I deeply love betrays me,I will give him or her the second chance even the third chance ,but never have the fouth .It is my principle that was used for many people except my parents and best friends.
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
8 Sep 11
I have done this too, only to be done wrong the fourth time also.
@whengcat (1458)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
Yes I believe that everybody deserve second chances, but in one condition. And that condition is that they have to prove that they are worthy to be given one. If they don't change after that then that's another story
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
8 Sep 11
Very true but people lie and do you wrong again.
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
8 Sep 11
I think it all depends on what it is. I have given second chances many times, only to get the same result the second time around.
• United States
8 Sep 11
I do, cause it the right thing to do. Umm if you do a act that your know was wronge and still did it. Then no, its unfair. Most bad people know, that people are nice(Human). So they use that against you. It has to be a total accident. they should not even know they are doing something wronge.
@webcodez (172)
• Netherlands
7 Sep 11
I think everyone deserves a second chance, everyone makes faults in his or her life and should not be judged just on that. Of course, a friend who betrays you multiple times should not be believed anymore, but for a 1 time mistake I think everyone should be given a second change to make it right.
@TrvlArrngr (4058)
• United States
7 Sep 11
I agree. I will usually give people a second chance but that's it. If they really were sorry - it would not happen again - right?
@sql_cell (1429)
• Indonesia
7 Sep 11
Everyone is entitled to have a second chance. We can only see what will happen next. Is that person, will use it well, which has been given a second chance.
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
I do beleive in second chances hence, our lives sometimes are prone on getting hurt. So be true to yourself. Everytime you give them chances on what they do to you, they will think that even if they do it again and again there will be always an acceptance. Let them learn from you at least, maybe this person will learn that he should've done that before to you and would not suffer on their current situation at present.
• India
7 Sep 11
Great question!!! In life everyone deservrs a secound chance, & only a secound chance nothing more. If you love someone than live it free if it comes back it is yours if not than it was never ment to be. But see, try to not be too emotional while taking any decision, think twice if you want to break a relationship or start a new relationship. There are very few guyes who are loyal & trustworthy so, you have to keep on finding that person. So, go out there & break a leg. You can also break a heart.
@SIMPLYD (83052)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
I believe in seond chances and i believe that it is nicer and sweeter specially in love , the second time around. With the second chance, you get to correct what made you fail before. You are now more careful of the things you do, lest it will hurt both of you again.
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
I'm not tired of forgiving someone, but I can't forget what they did to me. I'm telling them, don't say "sorry" if you don't mean it. What I really want to hear from them is "sorry, i wont do that again". Then if they break their promise, then i will let go.
• China
7 Sep 11
Betrayal,iscan't stand,can't give traitor,the second chance of betrayal.
@hafiz008 (450)
• India
7 Sep 11
Every one in the world is not prefect. Every one will make mistake. If any one betrays your trust and if he say sorry to you, you must give him second chance. Sometime he may think that he was done wrong or he may cheat once again. Whatever the matter will be you must give him second chance. If he misuses your belief then dont give them third chance. As the person knows he was done wrong and he done that wrong again.You forgive him and not accompany him. If you forgive any one sin the God will forgive your sin.
• United States
7 Sep 11
I think that chances should be given once the person has proven that they have change, because it's not right to hold a grudge over someone that has change and is looking for forgiveness. I have come to realization that people make mistakes, sometimes their mistakes may have a more serious effect on themselves and even others. But, if the person truly realizes the mistakes they have made and is willing to fix it then I have to acknowledge the effort. But, I draw the line when I see that the person is incessantly making those serious mistakes but to me it's like they are never going to change.
• Australia
7 Sep 11
It all depends on what the person has done, I suppose. More often than not, I will give someone a second chance. But that is where I draw the line. I realise that people can make mistakes; however, if they make the same mistake twice, it's a habit. I feel that you are entitled to one more chance but that you're abusing my trust and my friendship if you err again.
@Jacruz25 (1124)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
Yes i will give them a second chance and after that no more. I believe that two wrongs never make a right. People commit mistakes because we are only human and we are subjected to mistake. There's nothing wrong it with since we are only human and that is just normal.