Family and relationships...
By saphrina
@saphrina (31552)
South Africa
September 12, 2011 8:50am CST
Whatever.
Anyway, i always tell my love that family comes first and that they are the most important people in one's life.
But, to be honest i am having some serious doubts about it though.
They say communication is important in a healthy relationship.
Whoever said that, must have some serious damn issues or that person is freaking insane.
I actually just had it with certain people. It is as if they just wait, till me and my love start talking for the day, then something is wrong somewhere. They are seriously wasting my time, testing out my patience and pissing me off.
My family know, when it's my Prime time.
Sounds funky, anyway, they won't dare interrupt me, ever.
Even if the damn cat killed the freaking dog.
Now, let me breath and ask nicely.
How much more do i have to take?
Will these people still be normal after i am done with them?
Why don't thry go and bother someone else, for pete's sake.
I seriously have had it right now.
6 people like this
20 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Sep 11
Hi Saphy! 
Wait one more!
Okay the second one was a tighter squeeze. Yes family can be this way sometimes, and it is like they feel it is their duty to assure they hoover so much until we scream. Some people do not much going on with them and go all out of their way to pester, make up stuff, gossip and bug the h@ll out of us.
I have no idea why they do this, perhaps they think they should watch over us when they are this way, and little do they know we can take care of ourselves. There is no way around them sweetie they do not change because they do not see anything wrong with what they do. 
Wait one more!
Okay the second one was a tighter squeeze. Yes family can be this way sometimes, and it is like they feel it is their duty to assure they hoover so much until we scream. Some people do not much going on with them and go all out of their way to pester, make up stuff, gossip and bug the h@ll out of us.
I have no idea why they do this, perhaps they think they should watch over us when they are this way, and little do they know we can take care of ourselves. There is no way around them sweetie they do not change because they do not see anything wrong with what they do. 1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Sep 11
Sometimes you just learn to hear through one ear and out the other. You must always be true to your heart, after all it is you who lives with the heart. 
@inu1711 (5285)
• Romania
12 Sep 11
Hmm, you're like me. I feel the same sometimes. But I can be this rude to leave them talking and go on my way. Have you tried this?
Wait a minute! You wouldn't interrupt yourself if the damn cat killed the freaking dog?
But it would have been a premiere to see a dog being killed by a cat.
But it would have been a premiere to see a dog being killed by a cat.
Watch them closely 'cause you don't know when a damn cat could harm any of your freaking dogs.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Sep 11
Hi saph!
Please do not get so upset. Tell them politely that you need your space and they should not interrupt you, when you are busy with Prime.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
15 Sep 11
Sweetie!
OK! You could tell them in stern and firm voice about need of your privacy.
@derek_a (10874)
•
13 Sep 11
I now exactly how you can get to feel because I have felt this also during my life. There is an old saying that we can choose our friends, but family come whether or not we choose them!
I have found that as the years have gone by, I have mellowed more. I love to have my own company and live in my own space. I have communicated this very strongly and at people have got it. The strange thing is, if they give me my space, then I don't mind if they come around, providing they ask first.
As a Zen practitioner, mixing with other people is something that has been a challenge, and although it is uncomfortable, I have learned from meditating that sometimes the most uncomfortable things in life carry an important lesson. I have also learned that whatever we try and escape from, will always chase us and bite us in the butt! 
_Derek
_Derek@derek_a (10874)
•
15 Sep 11
Hi Saphrina,
Thank you for responding. Meditation isn't all calmness and peace that many people believe it to be. It can be, but the value in meditation lies in getting to know your Self and how your mind creates feelings and emotions.
The problem is, that the mind will resist all attempts to know it, and when we start meditating, we can become tense and uncomfortable. The "secret" is then to do nothing other than witness and watch what we are experience what is happening within us. Just to sit for 15-20 minutes at first whilst letting things happen inside our mind. It may be very difficult, but any tension, if we can just sit and be with it, shows us that meditation is being effective. If we do this every day, it will get easy, but this could take a month or more - we then need to extend the times we meditate for as we become more used to it.
There are more instructions and articles about it on my website and there is a link to this on my profile. My work has always been to assist and support others who find such difficulties. Whilst many pracitioners would tell you that meditation is all sweetness and light, this is not strictly true for everybody right away. _Derek
_Derek
@piya84 (2581)
• India
21 Sep 11
Oh honey i was half slip ...sleep i mean.I did not not read post properly looks like.privacy duh.Just go to garden and switched off phone.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
hi dear,
Oh well you need some vodka I think 
In laws can be headaches sometimes
But maybe there was something really important to do.
Just think about Prime don't be upset I know how much important the communication time with you
Cheers
In laws can be headaches sometimes
But maybe there was something really important to do.
Just think about Prime don't be upset I know how much important the communication time with you
Cheers
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Sep 11
Woo! You are speaking in riddles and I don't understand. Do me favor? Take a deep breath , let it out and tell me what happened. I want to help but I can't until I know what happened.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
15 Sep 11
Hi sweetie.
Okay, me and that one were busy chatting, when the family came barging in.
I am sure she know by now that i will have a serious talk about this with her.
Each minute with that one is precious to me and i won't tolerate any family, mine or his, to waste it.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
13 Sep 11
hi sweetie. i am actually getting more doubtful about Prime and Pete.
do you mean you have to loves, this Prime time and Pete's sake? 
do you mean you have to loves, this Prime time and Pete's sake? 
Here we go with Pete again.
Anyway, i am sure Prime beats Pete by far.
@shibham (16977)
• India
12 Sep 11
Hi saphie...
Give a look on my latest discussion on " mother weeping" and i do hope you have some answers there.
take care.
@zuliadesmond (72)
• India
12 Sep 11
its so great that each and evryone of us were so amazed man .hats off to you man u are just the one guy whom i totallly dedicate my entire life .u write so good .the selection of words are great its a great feel to hear it out from ur write ups thanks for the eye opener
@allknowing (130195)
• India
13 Sep 11
Till the time we were under the wings of our parents, we siblings were one big happy family. Once married the drift started and it came to such a pass that we are strangers now to each other. No one shares anything any more. Their life is a closely guarded secret. I feel I am closer to you than to my own siblings. Your problem is that you see your family breathing down your neck and for me it is just the opposite!
the opposite!
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
In a family, it is but normal that there would be disagreements or quarrels. What is important is that, when this happens we have to have our patience and reasoning still intact.
If others seem so angry, then the least we could do is to pacify them or ourselves. We don't have to clash with them outright. The moment they are pacified, then we can calmly say our piece.
It's always best to always have cooler heads in the family. 
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
13 Sep 11
family and relationships are just bond together.I love my parents so much and now that i'm in another city,so i miss my family definitely.I suppose no one would leave without family,i have a foreign friend,he told me that in another country,he feels that missing home so much.We all may have troubles together,but you just need to calm down.
@globaldoc (858)
• Philippines
17 Sep 11
Everyone deserves his own time for privacy. It is but normal for everyone to have the privilege to do things on his own. This is also the time when we really do not want to be bothered, no matter who they are.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
12 Sep 11
Family doesn't come first with me.. my kids will if they are still little.
The ones I care about come first and for these are not my family.
At this moment I had it too with my man.. let me make lot of costs to visit him, ask for free days of and he just told me he will go on a trip and doesn't know he will even be there. And I sold my car to pay for that journey.
Family!
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
12 Sep 11
thanks for reminding me.. today he told me a stupid joke.. he would not be there if I arrive! How come I can't laugh about that?
So I told him it is the last time I come over (I can't cancel it anymore) and I won't spend my time with him.
I think he is not smart enough to understand what a sacrifice is or means or might lead to.
@Amanda81587 (3042)
• United States
12 Sep 11
Hello there saphrina,
Parents and family can really be a pain in the neck when you are trying to control a family of your own. My mom and older sister never liked any of the boyfriend I have ever had. So my older sister always wants to threaten them and say if you touch my sister or mistreat here I will hunt you down and shoot you. Of course men do not like to be threatened or have a woman test out their masculinity. So all of a sudden from the beginning my boyfriend are weirded out by my sister. Then my mom likes to get into my business and state her opinion where it does not belong. So if you see where I am headed family can some times put a damper on your relationship even though we always say blood is thicker than water and family will always be there long after a boyfriend or husband.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
dear saphy,
Let's rock the world sweetheart
let's join street dancing 
http://trifter.com/asia-pacific/philippines/baguio-city-philippines-flower-festival-calendar-of-events/
wish to see you next year's event :)
let's join street dancing
http://trifter.com/asia-pacific/philippines/baguio-city-philippines-flower-festival-calendar-of-events/
wish to see you next year's event :)
.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
12 Sep 11
Manage the situations wisely, You need ever one today or tomorrow - get everyone in our hands and that is the need of the time. As long as we are a part of the society, we need every one at some instances. So, act wisely, you can keep all in line.
Thank-s
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
12 Sep 11
Whenever I have doubts about it I will try to ignore it..(^^) Otherwise the negative feelings will surrounds me and I will fell that they should not do this and that to me.. Try to ignore it sis or else you will feel more angry and disappointed than this~ I know exactly what you mean even if my situation and yours are not the same.(^^)
