Am I bad?
October 5, 2011 8:03pm CST
They say that when you started to dislike someone, almost everything that they do annoys you. I have this colleague at work that I started to despise because she was a real monster when it comes to tasks. She doesn't want to teach the things that she knows to other people when it comes to making reports and audits. She doesn't share the things that she know that could help other people to improve on what they do. There was a time that I was on a deadline, and I know that she knows the answer to my question but refused to give it. Even if I clearly asked her, she just answered with she's not sure, or you should ask him or you should ask her, and this really ticked me off. So there, since then, i became sensitive of her actions that I always notice her and dislike the things that she does even if it's not done because of me, or I am not involve I just find it annoying because I don't like her. Am I bad? Or there came a time that you already felt this kind of feeling to someone else.
2 people like this
6 Oct 11
Yeah... I get you mate.. I met a person like that once (she's an accountant too and hell she's the worst lol) But just be professional. You may become irrational when you give in to your emotions. You will just become vain.. I want to share a poem for you. It really helps me when I'm at lost. Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all surrender Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distess yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have aright to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, Whatever you conceive him to be and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
• Garden Grove, California
6 Oct 11
no you are not bad as p eople working together should be helping each other, not undermining them or making them play guessing games instead of giving a helpful answer. I think we have all 'encountered the boss from hell that will make you cringe every time you have to ask her for help.She either purposely evades you or else suggests you look it up for yourself. I worked with a branch librarian who was bipolar and refused to take her medication. One day we were the best crew she ever had and was all smiles but the next day we were just the worst bunch of people. so we learned to keep away from her on those bad days and to go to' her on her good days.I did not like her because she was also two faced.She praised people to their faces then turned around and rant about how stupid those same people were. I felt great when she finally got fired.
• United States
7 Oct 11
Hatley, in a work environment, people should always be professional, in my opinion. Whatever is going on someone's life should be left at the door before they step into the office. I had a boss very similar to yours! She wasn't officially diagnosed (that I know of) with bipolar disorder, but I swear she had it. She was very up and down. You had to be so careful when you approached her and picked your battles carefully. While I was employed under her, her husband and brother-in-law passed away within a few months of each other, so of course, that didn't help the situation. When I made that occasional but inevitable mistake, I would always be sure to fix it before going to her - always. And when I went to her about it (if it was a necessity), I'd definitely have to careful choose the right day to do so. I don't think employees should be subjected to that at all, but unfortunately, other than her attitude and style of managing, my former boss was a very hard worker. (An odd combination, if you ask me!) She could put you on cloud nine after talking with her or you could be down in the dumps for the rest of the day...it was completely up to her mood and what was going on in her life...which we always knew about all that too! I try to be a positive person always, but having such a loopy boss like that really threw me. I worked with her for at least five years, and eight years total I worked for that company...ugh...LOL! As you can imagine, I was thrilled the day I got a new job and got to tell my former boss I was resigning! January, keep your chin up because people like this will never go far in life. What a frustrating person to work with!
7 Oct 11
hi my_january! yeah,i've been there. but i realized that the person i don't like was not worth it of my time. i mean,as what you've said, everything he/she does annoys you so sometimes we watch out for their actions in every chance we get. i mean,why bother her. let's just do our thing as long as we're in the right track. never mind the people who don't give importance on what we're doing. they're just too selfish to notice anybody.
8 Oct 11
I can really relate to you, I know what you mean. No one is perfect and in life, you will find someone who will tick you off. I have a friend who use to be really annoying, she was really odd, immature and everything she said ticked me off. I would act bitter towards her and even tried turning some of my other friends against her. I know it's bad but during that time I didn't think it was bad, I thought she deserved it. Now, I'm good friends with her, after seeing her all the time, I actually got use to her personality and I actually enjoy her company now. One of my my other friends still dislikes her but I realized the more you spend time with the person you despise. Get to know why they act that way, you'll realize it won't bother you anymore. And I feel really bad for what I did. No one is perfect, we just have to learn tolerance and acceptance. But if they're really out of hand then simply ignore them. There's no point of getting all bitter towards that person, you'll just stress yourself out.
• United States
7 Oct 11
Hey there, January. I don't think you're a bad person for feeling this way. Your feelings toward your colleague are natural and normal. I also don't think you dislike this person for the sake of disliking her. I think you dislike her because of her actions; therefore, of course, anything she does will annoy you. I had a team leader similar to the one Hatley described, although she wasn't proven to be bipolar, but I think she was. She was very bitter all the time. She had times when she was the sweetest person in the world, you could be on cloud nine after talking with her. However, most of the time, you had to pick your battles with her and go to her with an issue (or mistake) only when she was in a good mood. I absolutely hate having to approach people (or not) based on their mood! I try to be a good person myself so that people don't have to walk on eggshells around me, so to speak. People in general cannot stand being around flaky people, so I understand your feelings completely. I'm really surprised your coworker hasn't been laid off the way she deals with people. Have you noticed, does she deals with other employees this way? Have they complained about her? People like that are never fun to hang around with. Like the others who have responded to this discussion said, don't even go to her in the first place. Ignore her negativity and get on with your life because you deserve to be happy and shouldn't have to deal with her attitude. I was so glad the day I resigned from my previous job so I didn't have to deal with my old boss anymore. I sure hope this situation works out for you. If this person keeps it up the way she's going, she'll end up like Hatley's boss for sure! Have a great day!!