Child Abused / Molested
October 6, 2011 7:46pm CST
If a minor comes to you and clearly says that they have been molested or mistreated sexually, they will just about definitely be afraid and hesitant of themselves. They will perhaps ask you to retain what they are going to tell you to themselves, or you may be curious to prompt them into stating their secret by promising you will tell no one. Certainly not do this. If a kid tells you they have been abused or molested, you are obliged to report it to the authorities. You merely will not be able to keep your promise of concealment, so do not make it - from the kid's perspective, when you go off and call the police, you'll just be another adult revealing a position of dependence with them. As an alternative say something like: "I can't promise that I won't tell anybody about your secret, but I do promise that I will only tell the right people who will act in your best welfares." Honestly, if they refuse to speak at that point and decline to say everything, then it's an extremely persuasive silence and you should perhaps pass the matter along to the proper authorities anyway.
• Garden Grove, California
7 Oct 11
hi pogi I think I am the first, and I was molested many years ago at age8 by my own father and I went to the pastor of our church and he accused me of lying so sometimes kids need help and they do not lie about something that grave. so if a child ever tells me they have been abused I will take it to child welfaree and the police even if the child asks to keep it a secret, its a dirty ugly secret that lets a child abuser go free and makes that child leery of all men. I did not marry til I was 32 as I felt a lot of men always took advantage of children and adult women. but I married a wonderful man who I told all about my childhood and he was the one who suggested that my hatred for my father was making me ill. so I went to my dad and told him I forgave him for the molesting me at age 8 but also asked him why he did this. He refused to answer me bu t I just kept my distance from him and never let my babies alone with him either as I did not trust him at all.My mother never knew about it as she was in the hospital when it happened and it happened only once as never again did I trust him alone in the house with me. I would go to my granddads shack an d stay tik mymom was home again with him.so if a child told me this I wo uld go to the authorities at once so they could check it out at once. kids seldom lie about something so serious and painful so believe them and help them by going to children's protective league and the police also.
7 Oct 11
Why would Hatley cut and past this from elsewhre? it all made snese to me. This kind of abuse is so common, and in the days that Hatley was a child, there was no help or support. Hatley had the courage to tell her Pastor, but he was ignorant enough to not believe her.
8 Oct 11
Children are generally vulnerable and so as adults, we hv the obligation to protect them, whether they're related to us or not. I agree with what you hv said. If we suspect that a child is sexually abused or molested, we shld report the matter to the authorities.
• United States
8 Oct 11
I was physically beaten, I was sexually abused, I was also mentally abused as a child. My brothers and sisters tried telling anyone and everyone who would listen. Guess what.. we were telling stories.. NOBODY CAME TO OUR RESCUE, NOBODY!!! I even told some of my teachers and they didn't do anything until my sister reported abuse right after we were beaten more than we had been. My gym teacher actually told others in my class that I probably deserved what I got.. My sister ran away and found someone who listened finally after many years of abuse... I was then in ninth grade.. sad but true. What happened is my sister was taken out of the home. My mother told us it was my sisters fault she was gone.. the abuse halted to some degree. Then after awhile it started to escalate again. I was then old enough to know that no one was going to help us out.. so when my mother hurt one of us and told us we couldn't tell anyone, and my sister told our step father, I told him to tell her I TOLD HER. I told my step father I want her to try and hurt me.. I promised him that she would never hurt anyone again after that. I don't know what he told her that night, my mother didn't physically abuse anyone like that again. In fact my step father divorced my mother and took custody of my younger brothers and sisters. Now if any child comes to me and says keep my secret about abuse. They find out real fast a lesson in how not to keep it a secret. To shout it out for they could end up dealing with it for many many years.. I take them in to report the abuse.. I also go back and make sure the child/children are doing well. I know how it feels not to be heard.
7 Oct 11
I agree completely with you. In my state, in certain occupations, if a child tells you they have been abused, it is the law to report it. In fact, it is the law to report even suspected abuse of a child. You don't need proof. children will tell friends, their secrets. If the friend can think clearly, he or she will tell an adult. The adult should then report it. Many years ago my daughters best frineds father, was accused of sexually abusing another child at his house. Allhell broke loose. They school asked me if my daughter had said things. This man was never convicted, as the girls mother wouldn't go to court.