Friendship ends?

It is so unfortunate that a small unexpected incident has marred what is supposed to be a friendship that has run for years. I am also in that situation where a long time friend has turned the table against me due to the fact that I was not around when he and his wife came back to the state for vacation. He has migrated to Australia 20 years ago and comes back sometimes for a visit. But this time around I was not aware the exact date of his visit though he has publicised it in fb of the tentative month he was coming back. He used to send me emails before that but out of a sudden after his recent visit he severed all ties with me because of my non availability when he was here. I lost a long time friend with a twist of a finger but I must say I have many other friends offline or online that can fill the void.

Carol this is sad to hear. Sounds like he is not even giving the 30 years of friendship even a chance to think about the possibility that maybe it is simply coincidental and simply something no one could control. If it were not the 30 year relationship and after all you have done for the sake of friendship then I would say perhaps he may have had unknown reasons. But to not even as much complain and or forewarn that he was removing you. This is not what friends do, my definition of real friends is that they are there for us even when they do not agree also to provide constructive criticism and also to argue with us when they feel strongly that we are wrong. So for him to react this way and unfriend without any warning shows that he perhaps does not appreciate your friendship. If you have his address maybe sending a written letter or even via email; explain that you do not understand why he is reacting this way, I would not bring up anything you have done in the past and or the van. You can also add that you miss him and do not understand why he is not returning any of your texts without giving the friendship a chance. If he does not respond then at least you did one last attempt and did say you missed him. If he has a good conscious he may with time respond back, but in the interim, I am afraid that you will just have to let it go, but know that you have done nothing but been a loyal friend. This is usually what happens when we mix business with friendships and sadly it is people like him that cause to refrain doing so with others.

It is very risky to have commercial deals with friends. May be your friend wants you to make good the losses. There is no harm in having a chat with him. Try it.

I understand how you feel.You have been friends with each other for more than 30years and you always helped him in his need .We may well say you were as dear to each other as members of one family.It is quite beyond me why the guy returned evil for good.Grant that he suspected you sold him a lemon,he shouldn't bottle it up ,he should clear the atmosphere on his own initiative.

Don't give up. Maybe the new wife had something to do with the "unfriending" on Facebook. That has happened to me before and I understood it. Leave it so that he knows your there when he is ready. It could be more than you think you know that's bothering him but it's up to you whether the friendship is worth the work!

That usually happens most of the cases, If I were you, I couldn't bother him anymore. There are many people outside there who would like to be your friend. By the way, you won't be surprised to him come back looking for soon. Give him time anyway.

Personally there could be a lot of things going on in his mind and life right now. Maybe it is just best if you leave things be, and still be there in case in time he decides to change his mind and want you around again. Maybe his New wife considers you a threat and made him do this, or he just felt it was time to move on? As long as you know you have done nothing wrong but to just always be there for him, in time hopefully he will see the light and change his mind again.

HI Carol.. I think, he knows that the van was inactive for 2 years and so he should have checked it before starting his journey. His life, as per your description, appears to be that of a careless man. And that is what made him not to check whether the van would stand a long journey or not. So it isn't your mistake. I am sure you advised him about the condition of the van, before handing it over to him. So don't feel bad about it. You have done as much as a best friend can do! So please don't worry about it anymore... I am sure he'll come back one of these days to you...

It happens! This is why we generally do not sell or buy anything from our friends or relatives. Any transaction involving money or wealth would cause a misunderstanding between closest pals too. I would recommend you to talk to that person. Not to get back to him, but to explain your genuine heart and intentions! All the best!

You did everything to him you've been too good to him and he knows it. Now don't waste your precious time thinking of him what and why. For my advice just leave him alone for what he would like to think. One day he will realized what he does and your importance to him. You did a very good action as a good loving friend. That is very good that people will do to others and the golden rules that God has gave to us. Love others as i have loves you. And you show it to him. So just stay calm and relax where you where standing right now. When he called again for help and if still you are ready to give this to him well that is good also. Continue loving your neighbor.. Have a happy day....

Hi carolscash! This is the problem when there is business and friendship. The thing is that there is really nothing that can be done if he believes that you bilked him. The only thing that would change it is if you give him the car back and that would not be good on the business side of it. After all...we all take a chance when we buy a used car and if you didn't know there was anything wrong with it...what are you supposed to do? I think that maybe a little time is the best thing. You could try to talk to him if it would make you feel better. He might respond. Take care and good luck...sounds like a very tough situation.

You have shared a great friendship with him. He has to know your friendship value, and sometimes like this situations are coming into our life to test us. others made negative thoughts on us. The time can give the justice.

Hello Carolscash, Its been sad to know that 30 years of freindship ended such a way.If i would have been in your place i would have definitely asked him and try to patch up things as i cannot afford to loose old freinds which whom i might have shared many things in those 30 years. I have experience of these things so i always try not to sell or purchase anything from a freind to keep the relations neat and fair. On his part i must say how can he be so selfish at least he should have talked to you and should have valued your freindship before breaking it.Sometimes we have to ignore things in freindships.It may happen that we may have differences at times with the freinds but to break freindship is the last thing we must think of.

I would do nothing. I would not invest time or energy in someone who is not interested in me anymore. Perhaps that friend was a real one for so many years. Perhaps you were the real friend and your friend just abused you in times of need. Sounds to me there are better times now and there is no room for you in the new, better life. Or at least not at the moment. What the reason is only your friend can tell but count on it that you will never hear any reason. Go on with your life, don't waste energy or feel angry, invest in yourself. You are more worth it then any friendship. And yes friendships do end. No matter if they are short or long, what counts is the time you shared together and what you learned from it.

I would let it ride, and see if he does not come around when he cools down. His family knows how good you have been to him, and you really did nothing wrong.

I am sorry this happened. I would talk with him. Try to work things out.

That's pretty sad :( It's always a risk to sell an item such as a car to a good friend... like in your situation, the car broke down and your friend is upset. However, he knew that the car hasn't been used in some time and he didn't do any maintenance on it, so he knew the risks. Perhaps it would have been better if he would have bought a car from another place so to not put your friendship at risk - unfortunately, many friendships end when it comes to money. I don't know what you could do now, obviously the friendship means a lot to you... Perhaps after some time goes by, he won't be upset anymore :( Even if he doesn't respond to your messages, you can let him know how you feel about the situation and let him know that you'd love to keep up on each others lives in the future.. And hopefully your friendship will return to what it was someday.