Long Distance Relationship

Indonesia
November 5, 2011 5:55am CST
Hey guys, i wanna ask you something. i have a friend, he has a girlfriend, but they are in a long distance relationship. actually in the first time, their relationship was very fine. but 3 months later, his girlfriend started to think that he is cheated her, and the other reason is because my friend was very busy so he don't have much time to contact his girlfriend. and actually my friend never cheated her. what should my friend do and tell to his girlfriend to make her believe again?
8 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8704)
• Netherlands
5 Nov 11
It's a bit hard to say what your friend should do because he is not telling what exactly is going on. I can understand why his girlfriend thinks he is cheating. It also is very hard for me to believe he did not find the time to text her: I think of you and miss you. Did he also not eat, showered and slept during that time? If you have a relationship with someone you have to invest in that. It sounds to me your friend did not find his girlfriend important enough to do so. Since you are not him you will never know if he cheated or not. And even men who did cheated will seldom admit they did. What your friend should do? Ask himself why he could not find 2 minutes to text her. Why he did not find her important enough for longer time. He also should ask himself if he really wants this relationship because he did not really miss her badly. If they stay together he will forget about her each time he is busy or too lazy to give her some of his time? If so he better not try to fix this and go on alone. Otherwise it will take time for her to believe him again, he has to prove time after time he wants to be with her for real plus he should have a face-to-face conversation with her and look her in the eye. Trying to be honest and not finding excuses for why he did not contact her. Since he can only blame himself for that.
• Indonesia
6 Nov 11
he is already tell the truth. he just find a job, and this job make him so busy. he can text his girlfriend after finished the job. he is my best friend, we are working in the same company, and he live in my house. we are always together. so i know everything he do. and i know that he is not cheating his girlfriend.
@nerein (283)
• United States
5 Nov 11
Well one thing that he should is explain to her how busy he is and what all he is doing. Another thing that he can do is like on his breaks and lunch is send her a text telling her that he loves her. One thing that she should understand if she really loves him is that when he is busy he does not always have time to contact her. Another suggestion is that he should take a break period if he can. That way he can go and make a visit to her so that she can see him face to face. You never know that might be what part of the problem is, is that she wants to see him. Now one thing that I find common in long distance relationships is that if one person goes to long without hearing from the other they get a little paranoid. Another thing too that I have noticed that ends a lot of long distance relationships, is that if they do not physically see each other. That is one thing that is kind of important in long distance relationships is that they see each other at least once face to face.
• Indonesia
6 Nov 11
thank for your advise. LDR was really really difficult think. we should always trust each other.
@almond24 (1250)
• Hungary
5 Nov 11
Hi, as it was mentioned, trust in each other and patience is very important. I think if he gets busy, it's better to let her know beforehand that they won't be able to talk for a while, rather than upsetting her and later trying to explain. But they should be open enough to communicate, otherwise it's easy to imagine things which are not true. I know it's very hard, hope they can handle it.
• Indonesia
6 Nov 11
ok thanks for your advise. i tell him that they should meet and talk about this problem.
@hot21nc (46)
• United States
5 Nov 11
he should tell her the truth. let her know that he be busy with work or whateva. then ask her if she can handle that. if she can all is well. if not then they should go seperate ways.
• Indonesia
6 Nov 11
yes of course. i just tell him, that he should meet her, talk about this problem and about their relationship.
• Philippines
5 Nov 11
hi david, having a long distance relationship requires a fully trusted heart and long patience If both parties are having doubts to each other then this kind of relationship will not last I hope they will fix their relationship soon. Time is important too.......... happy mylotting
• Indonesia
6 Nov 11
ok. thx for your respond
@zzyw87 (1260)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
Personally, I don't believe in long-distance relationships. It is too hard making long-distance relationships work. Most of the time, they fail. Why? Sometimes because of trust issues, lack of time, lack of togetherness, and time difference. I also like having my boyfriend around to meet up, go to restaurants, etc. I would not want a relationship based only on text messages, phone calls, or skype/ web camera.
@deliar (609)
• Indonesia
6 Nov 11
You know, the important thing in long dstance relationship is believing each other, without it, the relationship will break and end. i have do this for one year. i think your friend should explain to his girlfriend so clearly if he can, he need to bring something to prove what he has done. and make his girlfriend believe. In long distance, we have to alwayas positive thinking to our mate, so your friend should do that. it will give a better relationship.
@Aja103654 (5656)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
that kind of girlfriend is annoying, if she can't understand how busy the boy is and won't believe him then they should break up. there's nothing worse than a paranoid girlfriend. Sorry, just being frank.