Will you still marry him...?

marrying a family member - marrying your own brother or sister
@enelym001 (8333)
Philippines
November 8, 2011 8:08am CST
I don't normally read the newsPAPER coz there were a lot of online news available on the net! I don't know what has gotten into me that I grabbed the newspaper my mom bought yesterday. I read a column that struck me! It was reported that in South Africa there's a couple who had lived together for 5 years and was engaged to be married. Weeks before their marriage they had to formally introduced each other's family to discuss about their wedding arrangements. But it was also that time they discovered they were brother and sister! She's already pregnant and expecting to give birth next month. Their parent's separated when she's eight months old and he's 2 years old and they never know about it. This is really such a big dilemma for the couple. If I am the girl, I honestly don't know what I should do.
5 people like this
29 responses
@Jlyn10 (10576)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 11
Since they have already been living together for 5 years already and have been sleeping together for so long, and moreover, she's already 8 months pregnant, what more can be said? Just blame it on their parents for making such a big mistake.
1 person likes this
@Jlyn10 (10576)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 11
Feel guilty? But they were innocent when they met each other. The parents should be the guilty ones for not telling them about their siblings.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
They might feel uncomfortable after knowing about the truth. But if they strongly love each other I think they won't mind being a couple, after all they will have a baby to take care of by next month. It's incest and is wrong - but if they knew about it before, they won't end up being a couple.
1 person likes this
@naseemkum (1804)
• India
9 Nov 11
Its really a bad one whic i not heared till now. How can a sister can marry a brother after they known about their birth. If she got pregnant from him she needs to be seperate from him and giving him the value as he was the brother and she needs to treat him as a blood relation .
@ceasar09 (442)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
Wow that could be a really tough situation in life. If it this 2 person have the same mother then This is the first time I really heard a true story of brother and sister that's in a relationship, although they doesn't know about it. There is somewhat wrong about these since nobody among them have discuss/ask things about their family when they are still beginning on the relationship maybe they have known that they are family in earlier time. If I were at this situation maybe I will not marry the girl anymore but rather treat him as a family member and hope that the child that she carries will not have abnormalities when it gets out. Though it is very hard to decide things like these we really need support from our family and other people. =)
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
Indeed tough! I think even the parents can also be blamed to what happened with their kids, don't you think?
1 person likes this
@ceasar09 (442)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
They must also be blamed since they doesn't ask their children about their relationship or about their life and really could help if they do it in the earlier time. =)
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
right, they could have at least asked the full name of their kids' boyfriend and girlfriend since they know that this MIGHT happen, even though they did not give a thought that it can happen.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
8 Nov 11
that is really terrible. how can they don'tknow about it? i mean their parent?. what a stupid parent's doesn't know about that?
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
The parents knew that they're children are gonna get married but they are clueless for 5 years. They should have at least made an effort to meet the family even before planning for the wedding. or ask their child about who their kids are dating.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
9 Nov 11
they should introduce their family when they still dating. 5 years... i can't imagine that.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
yeah right it seems like it's everyone's fault
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
Oh dear, they should not marry. I mean, after learning they are of blood relation, they should stopped in there. Scientifically,blood relations getting married is not good for the kids.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
True, the baby might have suffer from abnormalities or autism... unfortunately she's already on the way and is giving birth next month, well hope the baby's normal.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
8 Nov 11
This can't be real, I mean they lived together for 5 years and never once realized they were related??? Though this is interesting as one of my classmates had written a short story on a similar topic, but in her story, the brother and sister were separated and not allowed to get married...
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
Yeah they met in a University and fell inlove the moment they laid eyes on each other But! They didn't realized it, maybe they don't talk about their family and maybe their parents never talked about the past or who their mom or dad was.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Nov 11
They had a couple on oprah who found out after they were married that they two were siblings. There was a therapists there to speak with them and asked them to hoose being siblings or a couple. and said if you choose to be a couple you have to choose not to have kids. They chose to stay a couple.
3 people like this
@Jlyn10 (10576)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 11
But this girl is already 8 months pregnant and I don't think it is right to abort that child. I'd say just go ahead with the wedding and remain as a couple.
2 people like this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
8 Nov 11
Thats south africa for you sweetie. Things like this happen when kids are either adopted or parents keep them apart when divorcing. Such a crappy life for both of them though. And being pregnant, is really a bomber as this will really be unacceptable. Thank God my love can never be my brother. That is one thing i am 100% sure off.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
whoaw just found out you're from there... it's really great that it didn't happen to you... well maybe your parents care enough to tell you the family history
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
8 Nov 11
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
hello enelym, saphy is from Philippines aint sweetheart
1 person likes this
@mjweed21 (693)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
OMG! That's very horrible! I couldn't imagine their reactions upon knowing it. On the other side, we can't blame them because they barely know each other prior to their relationship.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
Hi mjweed, I also think it is not actually their fault if in case their parents did not tell them about the past and who the other parent is.
@mjweed21 (693)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
Pretty true! And if we go back to the early days of human civilization, marriages among members in the family was being practiced. If I'm not mistaken, there still are some cultures who practice such.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
Yeah there were some countries who sees it as normal.
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
Oh,, i think they do not know each other first that they are sister,but how they know that they are sister? Are the parents revealed it that they are brother sister? Oh ghoss...its happening ,bit it looks like a big deal and shocking..
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
They came to know it when both their families met for the first time when the couple set a meet up for all families to plan for their wedding arrangement. It's really shocking at the same time devastating for the couple.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
Oh yes it is shocking,..But why they did not know their family first before the wedding? How this wedding quick preparation?I am sure this story will still remain in the mind of them.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
Some people fails to introduce family members to their parents. Maybe they were still testing whether the relationship is worth it or not. But it became somewhat worthless when they found out about this problem.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
8 Nov 11
The question is: are they still brother and sister by law? If not because they were seperated they can marry, if they are still family by law it's a big problem since they can get in jail. To be honest I find this a very strange story. If you live in South Africa you can't just be engaged for 5 years without both families knowing. But no matter what, if it's love I would marry my brother or go live somewhere else without getting married (since we both have the same familyname) and pretend as if we are. Since nobody will know anyway.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
Is South Africa strict when it comes to marriage and relationship? I am not familiar with their customs and traditions. I have not read if they're parents have been divorced, so if they're not then probably it's against the law. If not, then maybe it's the parents who wouldnt want them to be married since it could affect the baby's health maybe.
• Netherlands
8 Nov 11
Marriage it self can not effect the health of the baby. Only bad dna/illnesses can. if these kind of illnesses are not running in the family there is no risk at all. To me it doesn't make sense that the parents did not tell the kid they have they have a brother/sister plus there is an other parent. What also doesn't make sense is that you can have a relationship for years and your parent(s) are not knowing this at all and you introduce your fiancee a bit before the wedding for the first time. If there is someone to blame it's the parents. But if this is love who cares. That baby will have at least parents who love it and I would find a way to to stay together. The world is big enough and there are plenty of people with exactly the same familyname who are not relatived at all.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
that's if the couple decides to stay together despite knowing their real relationship with each other. If they decide to stay as a couple then that would be wonderfil for the baby, otherwise at least there is one parent to take care of the kid...
@mythociate (15017)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
9 Nov 11
In a perfect world, this wouldn't have happened--each would know their exact lineage at least seven generations and probably would've met each other before any such desire could develop--but now that the child is due, I'd say go for it! You know, Joseph and Mary (who raised Jesus) were cousins, seven times removed. Maybe their baby is Jesus AntiChrist
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
It won't be such a big issue for the family, maybe if they were at least 6 or 7 generations cousins. Maybe they would have accepted it and they won't feel so devastated about it. It's different with brother and sister relation, it's kinda disgusting but it happened anyway.
1 person likes this
@mariahhh (1328)
• United Arab Emirates
22 Nov 11
Oh my, that is really a big problem. I have seen a couple of shows on the television about that. They interviewed several couples and most of them said that they will still continue their relationship. I really don't know what I'll do if that happened to me. It's harder if we already have a child.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
It's nice to know that there are some who still continue their relationship. It may feel awkward if it gets into your mind that you are in the same bed with your brother/sister. I guess they should program their mind that they are lovers and not siblings.
@dpk262006 (56115)
• Delhi, India
21 Nov 11
Hi ene! It looks strange to me that they were together and did not that they were relatives and that too brother and sister. It is really difficult to move further once they came to know about their real relationship. However, once the girl was pregnant, I think there was not much option left than marrying the boy.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
Yes it's strange. They should have introduced each other and know the real name of each parents before. Coz as what is said in the news, the parents did not told them about it. So it's the parents who first got surprised to see that they're related with each other. I am not sure whether they got married or just decided to forget each other.
@jereen (8)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
What?? together for 5 years? and not knowing your roots?? it's a sad situation, but i think they must not continue their romantic relationship. right after they realized the truth, their feelings might change.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
I guess so they have decided to separate maybe. But I have no idea what they're gonna do with their baby. Maybe put up for adoption or keep the baby with her. It's just weird to still be together once you learned your partner is really your brother/sister.
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
14 Nov 11
This is an awkward situation, something really extrange, and shocking, I donĀ“t believe that they shoud marry, because, it can bring many problems in the future, yet, their lives, are already engaged, not only because they are siblings, but, because of the baby that is going to come.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
I agree with you, if only there's no baby involved yet I think it would be easy for them to just forget each other and move on.
@shibham (17025)
• India
13 Nov 11
I think this discussion is similar to one of my discussions. Here is the link... http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2511449.aspx Well, its a very complicated and tough situation for both sides as they were ignorant to each other relationships earlier. Hence, as she is pregnant and has no way of an abortion, then better they should start their life. I have not seen any alternative either. Have a nice day.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
Hi shibham! I just checked out the link to your discussion and found out that the couples story is similar to what has happened to this couple that has been in the news last week. The parents of this couple divorced while the one in your story is much worst, because the mom of the boy has been raped. That's really sad Good thing was that the girl was not pregnant yet and both just decided to leave and maybe forget each other. This new story of a brother and sister lovers is a little complicated because the lady is due to give birth. It's just very sad to know that there are things like this that are happening.
• Mexico
13 Nov 11
Hi enelym: These are really shocking news. I think it's really difficult to continue with your plans but I think that if, after taking a time for us, if I think I love her I would continue with this. I mean this couple have a baby and they don't even know they were brother and sister. In their hearts they were a couple and they always think as each other as couple. At the same time they have always treat themselves as a couple even if they are biologically brothers. ALVARO
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
Shocking revelation for the couple and a shocking news indeed! I agree with you Alvaro, the couple has to decide and weigh their feelings out for each other. However, they can't continue as lovers when they have it in their mind already. But if their Love for each other is more I guess they might forget their REAL relationship with each other and still be lovers. After all, they already have a baby.
@Greninee (369)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
I think they could remain as couple for the child's sake. A child has the right to be born and right to have a family. It's not their fault because they didn't knew that they were brothers and sisters. That's my opinion. ;-)
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
Hello Greninee! They could do that too if they still feel comfortable with each other. Otherwise, they might end up the relationship but hope they would not put the baby for adoption.
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Hmm..they dont know that they are brother and sister..they not talk to each other about there parents name even they are living in the same house..hmm...amazing!!
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
12 Jan 12
Amazing and disturbing at the same time! They don't know about their real parents name I guess so even if one would say the name, it's only the parents who would know it.
@thatgirl13 (7307)
• South Korea
10 Nov 11
Wow that was a harsh discovery. I wouldn't know what I'd do too, if I were that girl. I am so sad for her and wouldn't wanna be in her shoes, no I would be so heartbroken. I hope the poor guy and girl are ok. What did they do though? Was that mentioned in the newspaper too?
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
I'd be deeply sad and hurt if the same thing happen to me too... The paper did not talk about their decision, latest I've read was that the couple decided to split and both of them cannot think straight.
@tamirs (1808)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
That is really a freaky situation huh.. Since the girl is pregnant,i think they should marry.That is, if they still want to get married.If both of them feels like marrying or stay as brothers and sisters. they were together for years and and im sure were happy,even though situation before will never be the same as now,if they will get married,there is a baby the two of them should be concern about. But firstly they need to sort each others feeling. Parents should stay out of this i think,The two of them are the ones to sort things out,coz its them to decide.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
indeed freaky but should be accepted. It's a taboo but I still can't blame them for being inlove with each other. I agree they should sort out each other's feelings. Who knows they might be feeling strong affection towards each other because they were brother and sister.