im Working on it.... She's working on it....
By deodavid
@deodavid (4150)
Philippines
December 8, 2011 8:27pm CST
Hey guy's last time I poured out my heart here is regarding my Gal that I love very much but the thing is she is too dominant and tries to control every move that I make so I heeded your advice regarding the matter and thankfully she listened. I told her about how we should go about our relationship and what are the problems that we needed to address. Like she get's jealous every time I send out non-malicious messages to my friends on Facebook ( which I rarely do because I know her), 2nd is she get's so temperament about how I dress ( which I have already fixed by learning online the latest trends ) and that she nags all the time how she want's everything done her way. So she listened and promised that for our relationship to stay she'll take baby steps on avoiding some of her unnecessary attitude's, and me keeping also my word that I'll make sure to be the best that I can be for her so that we can avoid the conflicts. This will be big challenges facing us but for us to be together we would have to try to live with each others flaws but tweak the things about us that does not need to be a part of our relationship. Hope that everything will be okay and just be patient on things that might go out of our plan.
2 people like this
10 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
9 Dec 11
deodavid please read back your own message!
I wonder what exactly she liked about you as you met for the first time.
She is changing you into someone else.. an other person. What if that happend? Will she be happy or dump you since there is nothing to change anymore?
Her temperatment won't change, neither the fact she will rule your life.
You are already dressing different.. what is next?
I wish you all the luck and true love!
This is not true love, this is about ruling/dominating someone's life.
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
Soo true but I am an optimist WakeUpKitty, I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst, if push comes to shove ( further ) maybe it's time to end but, I can see she's trying to compromise to, then that means I should give her the benefit of the chance. And if everything is falling apart, then I'll know and be the one to decide on pulling the plug thanks for your point of view you are like the one person that had been on my side consistently, as you always give reasons that are always for my advantage, not to say that the others aren't but you have a different say on things, really, much appreciated. Thank's a lot...
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
9 Dec 11
That's good to know. I'm glad that both of you are willing to work to make the relationship better. Especially your gf, since as you say, she's dominant, it's great that she accepts her flaws and she's willing to make herself better.
God bless on your relationship. You'll still face a lot of challenges. Love each other and keep God at the center
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
10 Dec 11
Hey knicx, yeah it's truelly nice if both of you in the relationship accepts his/her flaws. And in my situation it was great because most of the time she doesn't but lately after we talked everything is now much-much better. So thanks and I hope that, yeah everything would be better.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
9 Dec 11
hi deodavid thats great that she is also willing to try to
change and you are also trying too. I hope she realizes that
you are you and will always be you so do not try to change what
'makes the real you.lood real love unconditional accepts each
pther as we are faults and good points both. She must realize
'you cannot make a person over into someone else. You will
always be you just as she will always be her but you can change
little things but still she will be outgoing domineering , you will be what you are and thats not bad at all.with enough love between'you the two of you should make it fine., good luck and God Bless.
@zhaozy (33)
• China
9 Dec 11
As long as you want with your loved one,will some of the more inclusive and mutually adjust some more.I wish you happiness!
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
9 Dec 11
That's good that you two were able to talk it out. I know it definitely helps in a relationship if you know what bothers the other person. Hopefully, she's able to tone it down a bit with how controlling she is. Good luck!!
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
9 Dec 11
hey court, yeah thanks a lot I hope so too for both of our sake, actually it went well better than i hoped for, I imagined she was gonna resent the idea and nag the life out of me but she didn't maybe she realized that if this keeps going on the way it is I am really going away. Thanks again..
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
9 Dec 11
That's good to hear my friend. A constant reminder by both of you will be helpful. 
Like for example, when she's again becoming dominant, you could joke about it to her like "you are becoming a monster again". And when she's getting temperamental again, joke that "you are like a lion again, cool or you will have high blood". 
But always, the key is to say it lovingly or in a joking manner. Don't be confrontational.
Like for example, when she's again becoming dominant, you could joke about it to her like "you are becoming a monster again". And when she's getting temperamental again, joke that "you are like a lion again, cool or you will have high blood".
But always, the key is to say it lovingly or in a joking manner. Don't be confrontational. 
@Pushhyarag2000 (1416)
• India
9 Dec 11
My sense is that she is too domineering and has too much attitude. If there is so much pressure on you to concede so many things to pamper her truant nature, I wonder what is it that she basically considers you as an original person! Are you bearing the entire brunt of keeping the relationship going? Of course, you are the best judge but since you are seeking some good counsel from myLot members, I thought there have got to be a few frank pointers to things that you may be headed for.
Of course, there are always some people who tend to be highly opinionated but in this case, she is probably trading off too many attributes of your personality. If I were you, I would seriously think of getting the whole thing on a much even keel. Not to dishearten you, I wish your optimism all success!
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 11
Whoa.. deodavid, one thing that I'll never do in my life is to get myself a dominant girlfriend XD I like the type of girl which is kind-hearted, soft, nice, loving and caring, love me as who I am, loyal, listens to what I say(Not everything but listens to my advise on things) and many more good characteristics. So far our relationship has being going on smoothly for 814 days =D
Anyway, I hope that you and your girlfriend will be able to work things out and she will change her attitude for you. Remember, always engage in good discussion and don't force yourself to continue if this relationship doesn't feel like the kind that you hoped for.
@icyrose123 (133)
• India
9 Dec 11
Good to know that you both are serious about your relationship and address the concerns of each other. This is a great positive move. Please be aware that the change will not happen all on a sudden and both of you must be patient and work towards it. Wish that all these things settle down soon.
