I feel that condolences on facebook are...inapprorpriate

@saundyl (9690)
Canada
January 23, 2012 12:28pm CST
2 years ago my dad passed away it bothered me alot that friends posted RIP .... and then would private message condolences or post them on my wall. My mom specifically stated that she didnt want any one doing that on her wall and people still did. I said thank you...and i admit...cleared most of them off within months because it made me sad every time i logged on and saw them. Facebook..the internet were kind of an escape and people posting like that made it a sad thing/place to be. It bothered me even more when it was someone i didnt know...or hadnt spoken to in over 10 years. It felt nosey...it felt like they were trying to snoop and really not caring. The people that stopped in..sent a card attended the funeral Meant alot more. Because this bothered me so much...i feel its wrong to do it to someone else...if im going to extend sympathies I will attend the funeral...send a card or even take a casserole over. Not some digital means extending those sympathies. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone prefer getting condolences digitally?
3 people like this
6 responses
@GardenGerty (100504)
• United States
23 Jan 12
I would not want that digital, and I would not extend condolences digitally.
2 people like this
• Philippines
24 Jan 12
Ideally people should extend sympathies by means of what you mentioned above. However, a lot of people are busy nowadays and Facebook is their easiest way to show sympathy. I understand them, but I would prefer it more if they will just send a private message instead of posting it on my wall.
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
24 Jan 12
Agreed...private messages werent near as..upsetting. As you can choose WHEN you read them and they arent right in your face as soon as you log on.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
24 Jan 12
I agree with you Saundyl. I feel sad when I read messages about condolences. I don't find it appropriate because it is out of respect already to the person who passed away. I suddenly remember the brother of my boyfriend who just passed away last December. In this facebook account, his wall was flooded with posts saying condolences. As I read those, I really felt sadness and regret of losing him.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
24 Jan 12
Its sad to loose someone. Feels sad to be reminded it happened. I know some people even create an in memory of Someone page. I know it helps some people..but ive never participated in the pages.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
24 Jan 12
As I said down no big deal for me as long as they are giving their symphaty. Anyway depends on our orientation may be some are not appropraite some are okay. But this modern era some traits are forgettable and change into a simple and easy ways as they like.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
24 Jan 12
Sympathy is appreciated...I just prefer it given in a different manner.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
24 Jan 12
Hi saundyl, fortunately I have never been in the position to say if I appreciate it or think it was inappropriate... What I can say that as of right now I don't see anything wrong with expression condolences on facebook...Being nosey is definataely not a thought that comes to mind...I guess I try to see the best in most situtations and just don't think anyone would be doing anything evil to me at that time.... If I actually would see a request for people not to send condolences on facebook, by all means I would respect their wishes... But it would be very acceptable for people to send condolences via facebook...but like I said previously...it may be a different story after experiences this situtation.....I respect everyones opinion
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
24 Jan 12
I respect your opinion. I think my biggest problem with it..as i mentioned to someone else was..everytime you log on during that time unless it was sent as a private message its right in your face on the news wall.
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
24 Jan 12
I agree with you very much. I feel that even birthday wishes are really inappropriate, honestly.. I don't like it when people just post "happy birthday!" when they haven't even talked to me about other things and such. and i feel like they do it because everyone else does it or just because the site reminds them of it.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
24 Jan 12
Makes sense to me. I like getting phone calls on my birthday.