punishing your child means your angry.
By C
@ShyBear88 (59288)
Sterling, Virginia
February 5, 2012 1:37am CST
Someone said in one of my discussions if I punish my child for lying or what ever that means I'm mad at my child. I have to disagree with this. If my child does something that is wrong I'm not just going to sit there and tell them its not okay I'm going to take action and teach them a lesson that is right for there age and what they did so they remember if I do this again I'm going to get into trouble instead when something like this happens I should just tell mom and dad and then they won't have to punish me the way they did before because I'm taking responsibility for my actions. Yeah I bet there will be a day or two where something that my children do is going to make me mad but I'm not going to take my anger out my children for something they did. I learned from my dad he would yell at me or my brothers when he got upset and punishment when he was mad didn't seem far or right to me. When he wasn't upset the punishment always seem more okay and correct. So when I get upset at my children for what ever bad thing they have done. I take a few minutes to think about what will be right for my child and what they did. Doesn't just deserve a talking because what they did bad has already came back into there face and I honestly know they have learned the hard way for there actions or did they not learn anything at all need something to remind them that it was bad. If my child thinks its unfair then I'm going to want to hear them out to why they think there punishment it unfair. I don't believe in hitting my child for anything bad they have done so I think of creative ways to punish them. Weather that is taking something a way for a few days or things they have rights to like the tv, a game, toy, computer things that aren't going to affect there every day life in a bad way. Also like cleaning something I know they do not like doing or having help others out in actives they can't do like shoveling snow or doing there lawn.
I don't tell people you can't raise your kids that why so people shouldn't tell me my parenting is wrong. If someone wants to raise there children one way that is fine with me I might not agree and I'll let them know I disagree with there point of view of raising a child. Children don't come with hand books no one way is ever completely wrong to raise a child unless of course your putting your child in harms way.
2 people like this
9 responses
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
Punishing our kid/s is different from beating and domestic violence.
Punishing our kid/s is a way to correct them from their mistakes.
Punishing doesn't always mean of spanking, hitting or any physical assault.
Punishing can be done in a way we will not be hurting our kid/s physically.
I do punish my kid/s.
When they are smaller,whoever made a mistake cannot watch his/her favorite cartoon series for that day.
Now that they are young teens- No allowance Policy is the best punishment :p
Spanking is not bad- I don't consider spanking as beating.
Anyway, who will discipline our kid- if not us (parents)
Leave alone those people who says negative things the way we discipline our kids as long as we know the right way to do.
We are not killing our kid/s for punishing them.
We want our kids to grow as a good citizen- most of all, a good person!
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
I understand what you mean.
It leaves you bad effect psychological (I never beat my kids to the max)
I spank them with slipper and not a rod and explains why I do that.
My kids are now grown ups (young teens) and I am thankful they're peaceful kids.
They're a homebody kids who loves music.
I can tell- that depends on how we create a great bonding with our kids.
My kids are not just my kids, but my friend.
We goes along well.
We have same interest (movies, music and almost everything)
We always have bonding moment/s (usually weekend) driving out somewhere just to timepass- sitting in a park -talking,laughing and planning for a vacation or any new place to visit (depends on our budget)
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
7 Feb 12
I don't think you can have a friend friend bound with your kids till after high school is over and you can no longer punish them for things. I understand what you mean. I some times have to tap genitally on my daughter's hand not to touch something like certain foods or things in the house because it can hurt her. Me I could never spank or hit my child for a punishment for me its to harsh. My parents had two different parenting styles my mom she was the one that would look at you and you knew you where trouble she didn't have to say a thing but she never like hurt your feelings when she punished you she never raised her voice to us unless telling us to stop fighting over things. My dad he was the one that would spank you with a belt and it would be the leather end but still it would hurt. Any time he got mad or upset with you about something you where running to hide even if you didn't do it. For me I take more of my mom side and now that me and my brothers are all adults and have families of our own my dad is more laid back because he has learned his way didn't work well for him and he does more of my moms style but he'll still explode when mad he just won't hit anyone. I like to do time out which isn't just for my kids but for myself as well as they get older things will changed.
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
5 Feb 12
I see spanking as harm and beating your child. You teach your kids not to hit people and then you hit them for something they did wrong then that is abuse in my eyes not to you but it has bad consequences some times when parents do it physiologically. I was spanked as a kid it didn't teach me anything besides doing better about hitting what I did wrong and not to get caught with certain now that I'm a parent I know there is better ways then hitting my child and so have my parent they learned the hard way spanking isn't a good way to raise child. Now they raise my nephew and they know hitting him won't teach them and if I saw it I would call the cops. There is other ways like I said that does the same thing then spanking. I would never raise my hands to my children no matter what they did wrong. A health punishment like the above is what I would do because they are the right ways for me and my family. If anyone disagrees with me then they can suck it. This is how we do it in my house I don't care what they do in there because its none of my busyness. I teach my kids you don't lay a hand on any one male or female no matter if they did something wrong or not. I feel if you hit your kids its promise that its okay for them to do the same to other people outside of the home and that it just adds my fuel to the fire of why people hit each other when mad or upset with someone else behavior.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
9 Feb 12
I think that punishment is something that is very important for parents and also for children as well. I believe that children that are able to grow up without ever knowing any kind of punishment will be the adults that will end up in trouble for bucking against authority.
I do punish my children by taking away their computer time or their ability to play with their friends or other punishments depending on the crimes that they've committed.
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
9 Feb 12
I agree with you that its important. Its part of a parents job to punish your child its how they learn from there mistake and it show us as parents learn from are as well when it comes to punishing our children. A don't think just sitting there talking nicely to your children about what they did is wrong teaches them that its wrong they learn by doing it and making that mistake and learning from the consequences that come with it. I'm sure parents never want to punish there children but we have to.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
5 Feb 12
Sometimes I get angry with my child, but that has nothing to do with what the consequences are for his actions. He has to learn that actions have consequences so that he learns how to behave.
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
7 Feb 12
I agree with that. All parents get angry but we don't let that affect why we have to punish or kids. Like you said every action as a consequence to it and when your a parent you some times have to give your kids a consequences that you don't want to give them but you do to help them learn and become a better person not only for themselves but for the future when they have kids.
@flower21 (765)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
i am with you since disciplining a child does only include verbal talking as t need some action, especially f the child is very stubborn. the kind of discipline is a little punishment like grounding and also involve explanation of the reason why a child deserve it. parents are not just there to make instant punishment without valid reason. some parents do it to show there child that their act is very wrong so they get punish because of their bad behavior. the punishment need not to be severe it is only a slight which the child could learn a lesson from it and remind her not to commit the same blunder.
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
7 Feb 12
I want my kids to learn form there mistakes and if a punishment comes with it its not because I want to give to them but because I have to give it to them because either I feel or both me and my husband feels that maybe they don't understand complete what that mistake has done maybe to them or to others and how it makes others view them or feel. Some life lesson you don't need a punishment for and others you do. I feel if a child is done something wrong that you take a few minutes to like cool off. I know parents get upset and will either say or do something they don't mean to do to there child. So taking that second to think about things talk about it then either tell your kid I need to think about what to punish you with for this action or come up with something right then and there. If they do a sport or some kind of active I'm not going to take that way from them. Tv and stuff yeah I'm going to take that way.
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
6 Feb 12
I agree with you. Different parents have different ways to raise their children. There's no good or bad ways as long as you are not harming your child. I have been spanked when I was a child and as much as I can I'll not do it with my son. I know time will come, I can hurt my son too. But for now that he is in his toddler year, I'm starting to talk to him about his behaviors. He doesn't have to be perfect and follow all we want, but atleast he understands.
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
7 Feb 12
I was spanked as a kid and I didn't like it and I don't think at least for me its a good way to punish my child. I have a 1 year old and yeah some times have to punish her for something but I always tell her no that's not okay because you can hurt mommy or daddy. She doesn't really understand but over time the more we address it over time she will understand that.
@thelmadacullo112659 (642)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
as parent,u r not obliged to punish ur child if he committed mistakes. never scold him with any sticks if ur angry.discipline himby giving educational words and not by punishing thru scolding.be a responsible parent to ur child.parents r the first teacher of their children.so u must see to it that ur a model to ur child.never abuse them or else u will go to jail..mark my words....
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@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
7 Feb 12
It is a parents job to punish there child. If you don't then they never learn anything. you can talk to them is what I said but that doesn't mean they understand what they did was wrong by just saying. Being a role model doesn't mean by just standing there and doing the right that doesn't show much that just say hey this is me and I want you to be like this but that doesn't mean you let bad behavior go. Saying don't do this or that doesn't mean they aren't going to do it again. You can tell a child not to hit someone but that doesn't mean they understand if I hit someone it doesn't just hurt them physically but emotionally and they only way to teach them that isn't to just let it happen to your kids but to punish them for it. I never said hit a kid as a punishment I said above there is other ways that are just as effective to punish a child with out hurting them physically. Spanking your child won't put you in jail no police officer will arrest someone for that there is no law against spanking yet. I don't believe in it but that doesn't mean I believe in.
It is your obligation to teach and discipline your child if you don't then they will be the ones in jail one day or worse hurting there kids in many ways. Just because a parent punishes there child it doesn't mean they are angry or upset its out of love that they are trying to show them what they did was wrong and this is the action you have to take to learn that.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
5 Feb 12
There is a big argument about this going on here in Australia at the moment and I can see both sides of the argument, but I was never spanked and I turned out ok, I like the idea of talking first and reasoning with the child and to try and teach right and wrong, I really hate the thought of any little kid getting hit so I don't really know.
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
5 Feb 12
I was spanked as a child and I'm against and I know other people aren't but if someone tells them do I just disagree nicely and say I don't I don't like it I never liked it as a child and I think its harsh way to punish a child for something they did wrong because other actions can be taken and get the same results. I have seen the good and the bad that can come from spankings. I'm okay with like a little tap like oh that's hot don't touch that. As a mom I feel if my children do something bad I'm going to address it first tell then why it's wrong and then give them a punishment. Punishments aren't meant to be enjoyable but I will hear them out if they don't like it and might reconsider the punishment if yeah its to harsh from what ever it was. Some times as a parent you have to compromise.
@malsrename (35)
• Indonesia
5 Feb 12
I think that kids do not care too much,and do not give a child everything asked for,because it's when you grow up he will think what the parents must be willing to give.and not to punish the child, because it can cause effects that are not good for the children themselves and do not curb it.
if the child would have incurred at the bridle as the child's mental illness must have thought about it constantly.
and children would also not immune from mistakes, but as parents should not take actions that harm themselves and do not let your kids do not know what it was and why he's wrong ...!
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
5 Feb 12
Wow I don't understand a word you said. I'm guessing English isn't your first language maybe. Everything you said just sounds like garble in my head I've read it several times. Do you think you could maybe clear it up a little bit for me so I can give you a better responses to what your trying to say about punishing a child. I get the part that kids aren't immune to make mistakes. We all make mistakes young or old but all mistakes have actions and consequences to them at any age. No punishment is ever wrong when it comes to your kids. All parents punish differently for bad behaviors. If you don't ever correct your child they will always think that its okay to do what ever it is and that can cause them to go to jail or so on. Punishment doesn't mean it'll affect them negativity it can be positively is what its trying to do. An would be hitting a sibling or friend your not just going to tell your child you can't do that you have to show them by punishment what ever seems fit for that age.
@King_Josh (25)
• United States
5 Feb 12
I read this and I feel were Ur coming from. Children will be kids but they must learn from there mistakes. How you punish your kids is on you, long as your not beating them. Yet, like I said I totally agree with Ur method. I think everybodys got a way of handling there kids.
@ShyBear88 (59288)
• Sterling, Virginia
5 Feb 12
Right, that is why I said no one way is wrong unless your harming your child. I don't believe in hitting my kids I was spanked as a child and I see that as hitting and harming your child. I like other methods ones that don't cause physical pain on them. Kids do like you said make mistakes its part of life and parents will find ways to correct that mistakes in all kind of ways. I see it as if I punish my child its out of love and showing them not only with a punishment but as well as talking about it how it could haven't things or other options. Some mistakes already come with punishments so some times there is no need to punish any further.
