Women who have abortions have been found
By mysticmaggie
@mysticmaggie (2498)
United States
February 21, 2012 11:39am CST
to have six times the number of suicides as those who go ahead and give birth. Why? Guilt over taking another life. Depression, often known as the blues can hit any woman who gives birth, but usually (although not always) these go away in a few weeks.
It seems those having abortions have much longer and deeper versions of the blues and too often come to the decision to commit suicide.
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/feb/20/disclosing-the-abortion-suicide-association/
Having had a niece who had an abortion and never seemed to recover completely, even though she eventually married and had two children, I believe these statistics may be low.
She went from a happy, joyful young woman to someone who despised herself, turning to drinking and gambling to the point of losing her whole paycheck every two weeks.
She has now lost her husband, children, and been alienated from most of her family simply because she believes she doesn't deserve to be with them. I would give anything to have her back, no matter what she thinks, but nothing and no one can convince her she made a mistake that can be forgiven because she can't forgive herself.
What do you think of abortion? Is it something you would want for one of your children? Would you have chosen it instead of having one of your children?
2 responses
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
22 Feb 12
Deciding to have an abortion is a major decision in anyone's life and our society currently conspires to make the person that feel even MORE guilty about their decision with the religious fanatics insistance on forcing THEIR standards on everyone else.
First, they tell women that it is wrong to have an abortion as they are growing up. Then, they keep this issue in the news with their constant efforts to force their beliefs on everyone else. Last, they try to keep a woman from facilities that legally perform this procedure and do their best/worst to influence the woman with all the restrictions and conditions they have to go through to have the procedure done legally (waiting periods, ultrasounds, etc) and safely.
If it later comes out that the woman had an abortion, they then have to comment on it and not let it go or offer the woman support to help her - instead, they actively try to make her feel even more guilty.
I personally have never had to make that choice. I used birth control so I only became pregnant when I was ready to have a child and my child did not face serious birth defects.
However, my niece went through a hellish pregnancy with her second child and if it had been me instead of her I would have had an abortion. They knew at 4 months that her baby had severe abnormalities and could NOT survive once it was born - the baby's chest at birth only had a circumference of 4 inches. There was no room for the lungs to inflate or breath and the heart barely had room to beat and was malformed. Because of her religious beliefs and the beliefs of her family and husband, she went the last 5 months of her pregnancy carrying a baby that she KNEW would DIE as soon as it left her body. The mental stress on her and her husband was terrific and rather than take the chance of a similar problem in the future she had herself sterilized because she COULDN'T FACE GOING THROUGHT THAT AGAIN.
If it had been me, I would have had the abortion and tried for a second child later. Her beliefs and the pressure put on her by her family made pregnancy something that was so horrifying that she sacrificed the chance to ever have a child again (how many potentially healthy children did that prevent being born).
Not having an abortion destroyed her peace of mind, almost destroyed her marriage, and destroyed her chance to have the family she wanted.
I do not advocate abortion as a type of birth control (as some people seem to); but, I do believe that there are circumstances where it is the best thing to do and it should be available to women who need it and the rest of us should support their decision; not try to make them feel even guiltier.
@mysticmaggie (2498)
• United States
22 Feb 12
I understand your view even though I disagree with it. My second child was born with a disability, but even knowing I couldn't abort her. She has turned out to be as much a blessing as her brother.
Abortion within the first three months is bad enough, but there are also third trimester abortions that often kill a full grown baby or make certain it will die soon after.
There are those who insist that rape, incest, and saving the mother's life are reasons for abortion. I cannot see it that way, simply because the baby is the one suffering and it is the one person that had nothing to do with its being made. It is the innocent who must suffer, sometimes because of horrible deeds, and too often for the convenience of birth control. Having the child and giving it up for adoption seems a better alternative. There are parents who are willing to take the disabled or any child.
Your sister was a brave woman, who followed what she believed. I admire her tremendously. Even a baby that will die soon after birth deserves to be held if only for a moment in loving arms.
Yes, marriages sometimes suffer. Ours might have if we had pointed fingers at each other instead of holding each other tighter in a time of trouble. Love, true, deep love pulls together instead of apart.
As for Christians pushing their beliefs on others, it works the other way, too, with government deciding our children can get birth control or an abortion without parental consent. That is also pushed down our throats and, in the case of those who are against abortion, our taxes are given to those who push little more than the killing of fetuses. We ask that we not be forced to support something we are very much against.
There is little understanding on either side, with no one listening or hearing any view except their own.
I hope we can agree to disagree.
@mysticmaggie (2498)
• United States
11 Mar 12
First of all, birth control is now being given to 10 and 11 year olds. These children are not capable of deciding the best for themselves.
No, I'm not in denial, but I do and did trust my children to follow their teachings. They did.
If my child is going on birth control, I prefer they talk to me and not a stranger who doesn't know diddly about them. My children did and do come to me about important things such as this.
I did not say you, Speakeasy, wanted third trimester abortions. I said they are a part of the abortions. And, no, third trimester abortions are not just to save the mother's life. They are supposed to be, but that isn't how it works.
Your sister's baby, no matter how small it was deserved to be loved before dying. I stand by her choice. She is a brave and beautiful woman.
Each person will make their own decisions; mine is to give every baby a chance at life. Yours is not. So be it.
I do not hate anyone who opts for an abortion; I do feel sorry for them, because they must live with destroying a life the rest of theirs.
@polaroidsredwine (509)
• United States
26 Feb 12
Exactly. Teens have an invincible mindset - this can't hurt me, this won't happen to me, etc. Potential consequences don't weigh as heavily in their minds on matters like this.
Abortions, when it boils down to it, should be about choice - if someone wants an abortion, so be it. If they don't want an abortion, so be it. It's cruel to force a person to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term, and just as cruel to force a person to have an abortion on a wanted pregnancy. All of the negative hate pointed at people who get abortions makes them hush up; it's a forbidden topic almost, one that can give a person endless ridicule. Giving the proper support and care, physically and emotionally, to these people is essential to ensure they can continue on with life happily and, if they choose, actually have a baby when they're ready.
@emdjay23 (1575)
• Philippines
21 Feb 12
abortion is one of the mortal sin,so i would rather keep the baby than killing that poor child.question,why did she had an abortion?is it abortion or miscarriage?is it intentional or unintentional?because she should be upset if she terminated the baby intentionally,it's a big mistake..
