Hate life sometimes...
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
United States
February 23, 2012 9:40pm CST
My girls the oldest two have been dancing at the same dance school for seven years now. They have never had any issues and have in fact been held as examples of good students. Well there is one girl in the class who is disruptive both in her actions as well as her attitude. She hits students and stands in their way while they practise. I have personally spoken to the owner as well as the father and nothing has been done. I know of several other parents who have spoken to the owner as well. Nothing has been done. Well my girls and two of their friends wrote a letter to the owner asking her to stop the behavior going on in the class. This came after a bout of the girl hitting not only one of my girls but another one as well. The teacher has written to me that my children are lying and that they are in fact bullying this girl. Now I have been there when another mother has pulled her son out of the class and the school because this girl three weeks in a row kicked him in the privates on purposes and the owner did nothing. I have not only watched but pulled my girls out of class when she has been at her worst. I know of the one mother sending the parents the bill for a broken nose caused by this girl stepping in front of the classmates while they are dancing. (this is Irish step by the way and high paced) My girls are crushed to be called liars and bullies. I am not reacting off the hook as I so badly want to do but I am not sure how to calmly handle this. The girls have made a commitment to be in the recital and we have paid a lot of money for this commitment. I do not want them to think it is ok to walk out on something they have said they would do but I would love to just not go back. Keep my kids safe and say screw off them all. I am angry of coarse but I feel horrible for my girls. They have done nothing wrong and been put down by some one they really looked up to. The lies hurt hem and I hate watching it. I know this is life and a lesson will be learned but it doesn't mean I like to see it happening.
4 people like this
8 responses
@reginatanslife (85)
• Philippines
24 Feb 12
This is a defficult thing especially if its our children is the one not being treated right. I would advise, if you would agree, to as much as possible get more evidence and do a meeting for the affected parents.
1 person likes this
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
26 Feb 12
We have discussed getting video if we see it again at least on our phones.
@kheydia (882)
• Philippines
24 Feb 12
It is not really safe to let your girls stay there, when you know as well that their teacher is one sided and cannot protect the students. I'm a mother and i will not risk my daughter to be there, to be hurt physically and emotionally... So sad to know that there are people like that.
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
26 Feb 12
We have decided that we, they have made a commitment to be in the spring recital which is only a few weeks away. But after that we will be looking for a new school. I want them to know that though things go bad one must own up to obligations made. We will be staying at the school from now on during classes and pulling them out at any moment things get bad. We do not usually stay as these two girls are old enough no go to class with out us but no longer will that be the case.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
24 Feb 12
Wow!! The owner is calling you and your daughter, and other parents who are complaining LIARS? Personally I would be more than upset, and I personally would be finding someone else to go to with this complaint, and get this Teacher fired, and find something that can be done about this girl before she ends up really hurting someone as well. To tolerate stuff like this especially out in the open for a class like this is absurd.
1 person likes this
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
26 Feb 12
Well the teacher is the owner of the dance school so really there is no higher to go. I am very upset over it but am trying to calmly solve things as to be a good example for my girls. It has become increasingly hard to do so though.
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
24 Feb 12
I would definitely find a new dance school. Perhaps if all the parents whose children have been affected by this girl did the same, the owner / teacher could just teach the one disruptive student and see how she likes it. My guess is the parents of this girl may be paying more than the rest of you for these lessons because no one else will take her and thus the owner wants to keep her on no matter what she does. I taught in a private school once, and some kids can get by with almost anything because the owners don't want to lose the tuition.
Since you're in the USA, you parents might also report this to social services as child abuse by this teacher who won't control it, or press charges against the child who is abusing the other children.
Even if there is a commitment of money to the recital, it's probably less than paying the doctor bills if this child should seriously hurt one of your children. I would pull the children out and file a complaint with the better business bureau against the school. Or threaten to do so and see if that works. It's unsafe. If it's a question of money or your children's safety, do you have a choice? When your children made their commitment, you were all assuming they would be practicing in a safe environment. If that is no longer true, the conditions have changed beyond what you could have anticipated, and I would think that would negative your moral, if not your financial obligation.
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
26 Feb 12
Well it is not just money. Our girls have made a commitment to be in this dance not only to the school but to the others in the class. Pulling them out now would cause issue and I do not want to teach them to run from hardships. We will be staying through classes and if anything starts we will go in and stop it by pulling the girls out. I beleive I have made it clear I will gladly call the cops if episodes continue. It is again not money that keeps her there but Nepotism. It turns out the girl is some how related to the owner of the school.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
26 Feb 12
Now it all makes sense. Nepotism is hard to fight.
@thelmadacullo112659 (642)
• Philippines
24 Feb 12
Sometimes i hate my life esp. when am in trouble,when am in problems and when am distress from household works and esp . when i have no more money to finance expenses in my family..
1 person likes this
@hometypist11 (6)
• United States
25 Feb 12
I feel for you! It's a very touchy situation and it's even worse because the misbehaving girl has been allowed to continue her behavior.
Yes, you are right about the safety of your girls. I can understand your concern about the money you have spent on this commitment. Can the girls participate in the recital, and then you can find them another teacher?
I wonder if you could pull them out of the recital and ask for your money back? It's important for you to do something in support of your wonderful daughters. Your standing up for them will be the best thing they can have in this situation.
Maybe all of you parents can get together and approach the situation as a group. If your girls and other students start leaving this teacher, maybe she will realize there is a huge wrong being done here. A hit in the pocketbook is sometimes the only way to get someone's attention.
I feel badly for your daughters too. It's sad that they are being treated badly by someone they look up to. Maybe you can tell them that they are being called names unfairly, and that this sometimes happens in life to innocent people. I think it is important for you to show them that you don't act like the teacher and offending girl, and that you don't want them to act like that either. You wrote that they had been shown as examples of good students, and I know you must be very proud of them.
Whatever you do, I'm sure it will be the right thing. You sound like a very good mom who is trying to keep this situation under control. Good luck and I hope everything works out!
@mariamac (145)
• India
25 Feb 12
I agree with hometypist11 on this matter. It is a very serious issue and you are a great mom trying to do your best for your daughters. I just pray and hope this issue gets resolved soon.
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
26 Feb 12
We will be switching schools later in the year, when they start back up in the fall, and mattering on if the girls want to. This has tainted the activity for them. Thank you both.
@hometypist11 (6)
• United States
27 Feb 12
Thank you both for your responses. I will keep you and your girls in my prayers. It's really all about them :) Good luck! I know you will do everything you can to help your daughters (just like I would - nothing is too great)
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Feb 12
Hi Opinionated,
I just read your other discussion regarding this and responded. It sounds as if the teacher, for whatever reason, is favoring this one girl who is causing all the problems. What I would do is get a group of the parents and all set up a meeting with this teacher. Take pics of this girl hitting the other kids , stepping in front of them etc. A video would be great. One little girl should not be allowedto cause this many problems.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Feb 12
oops...just read where you mentioned that this girl is somehow related to the owner. That pretty much explains it all. It's still not right. I think you should group up with the other parents and all together either hold a meeting with the teacher...demand one or all threaten to pull their kids from the class. Where would this teacher be without all her students?? Force her to do something about this problem. Ignoring it is not doing the little bully any favors either. That poor girl has some issues too that need to be addressed or she is going to be very unpopular. Sounds as if she already is.
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
28 Feb 12
Many of the other parents fear what is happening to my girls and have said they will not say anything for fear
. They will be sorry when it gets worse because she NOW knows she can get away with it. My husband stayed at class with them last night. The girls father stared them down on the way in. I was proud when hubby told me the younger of the two girls held her own and stared him back down. My hubby held his temper but found it funny that the owner herself happened to not show up at all to her school last night.
. They will be sorry when it gets worse because she NOW knows she can get away with it. My husband stayed at class with them last night. The girls father stared them down on the way in. I was proud when hubby told me the younger of the two girls held her own and stared him back down. My hubby held his temper but found it funny that the owner herself happened to not show up at all to her school last night.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
24 Feb 12
If there is another school, I suggest that you transfer after the recital. It is obvious that the owner is playing favoritism here. There seems to be nothing that you can do about the situation so it is better to leave the school and find another one.
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
26 Feb 12
We are hoping the other local school is open again in the fall. That owner used to be a teacher at this school and left do to issues with this owner. Her studio was badly flooded back in September and she simply rebated everyone's money back and said she would be back next fall so that she could slowly build her studio back up. I have spoken to her and she is more then happy to take my girls as like I said she used to teach them at this school. She was also the one to inform me that this child is related to the owner of our dance school and that this was also an issue with another student a few years ago and one of the reasons she left.
