being a man and he still try to control and change me
By syankee525
@syankee525 (6261)
United States
March 5, 2012 9:50am CST
here i am a grown man. i am disable with back issues from a spinal cord injury 12 yrs ago.two spinal cord operations behind.. back and neck. with restrictions. but i still do things i am not suppose.. but it caught up on me.
my father i guess have an hard time excepting this fact.. and i often need help but he helps he wants to control me and think i need to change who i am as a man.
there are plenty think i am a good person always helping, even have some older people tell me i wish you were my son.
back in nov i became laid up due more issue with my back, my parnets wanted us to help with the christmas stuff, tried to tell to them i cant do it.. all i heard was we want you too..
i finally blew up on them told them i dont understand why they cant ask other in the family to help and why they have to throw a gault trip on me.. my mom said we dont, but i have back issues too i do things.. !!!! so i told her your's is from old age, my is from a spinal cord injury..
i am the one who always help them out, and i am who drops everything to do so.. and all i get them trying to control me and change who i am because they dont like what i wear or listen too..
1 person likes this
3 responses
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
8 Mar 12
Sorry you have to go through that, syankee525! It's possible your parents don't completely understand the severity of your injury - perhaps a part of them is in denial about it. I had a friend who had a condition that started as a teen (forgot what it's called) - where all her joints ached and her legs felt like they were burning. It's not something that could be "seen" but she sure felt it - and it was very debilitating. Her parents tried to make her to all these activities but she was always tired or in pain . . . they kind of told her to use mind over matter and just do it. Well, it's not as easy as that . . . some people just don't understand what it is to be in the shoes of someone who is in major pain 24/7. As parents, they don't want to see their kids like that - and sometimes they don't know what to do or say because there's just no resolve to the health issue. So they try to shove the problem to the side and try to keep things "normal". They might be thinking they are doing a good thing by motivating you to do stuff for them . . . but motivation isn't the issue. My gosh, sometimes a medical excuse from the doctor has to be thrown at people just so they finally "get it"! Hope things will get better for you . . .
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
6 Mar 12
That is the problem with other people. If you are asking help then they tend to control you even your life as human. They want to hold your neck. Then when they are asking for your help then you are sincere and willing to help them. In my case I just set it to myself that I would only limit my help to people because it is frustrating on my part that no one acknowledges it. I know it that nobody will help me so I need to help myself.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
6 Mar 12
Hi syankee! I have missed you a ton! I have wondered how everything had been going for you.
I remember you saying before that your parents were always wanting you to help them lift things and move things. I have a huge respect for parents and elderly people but under the circumstances, it does seem they are not being very considerate of your issues. I think that they should think about that a little more for sure.
As far as changing who you are..well..I like you and I hope you don't have to do that. What you wear and listen to should be the things that you enjoy and no one should have a say in that.
