I have a Love Problem :'(

@cearn25 (3460)
Philippines
March 11, 2012 10:50pm CST
I am very problematic with regards to my boyfriend. This past few days, I don't like the things he is doing. He forgets to text me that he is already asleep. He don't informs me that he is going to this place. And the thing which angered me the most is that he didn't went home last night from that place he went on. I don't know what to do. I am so confused and brokenhearted. But him, he just acting like there is no problem between us. He even wrong sent a message which I suppose not for me. I just cried. Please guys tell me what to do.
3 people like this
23 responses
@Mashnn (4503)
12 Mar 12
If he used to do all those things then suddenly he stops, them most probably he has turned his attention to something else or there is something going on with his life. Try not to conclude anything right now, give him sometimes and I believe if something is happening, you will be able to find out soon.
2 people like this
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Thank you my friend Mashnn. I am have not yet come up to a very hard decision. I am still observing of the possible things that will happen. But now my heart is really trembling. I just divert my attention so that I will not be really sad.
1 person likes this
@Mashnn (4503)
12 Mar 12
I know it is very hard to even concentrate when you are going through such a problem but it is worth than making any conclusion. You never know, he might be facing some other serious problems right now. Sometimes men just hide from us when they are in problems. You can also try and arrange for a meeting with him and tell him your concerns.
1 person likes this
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
You are right my friend. I can really say that I am forcing myself to concentrate but still I feel disturbed about the problem. Please help me.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Mar 12
Take some time to calm down for one. Then find the words to share with him and let him know wha your feeling. You don't have to feel like this if he only fell asleep without texting you. after all how is he to text you when he is sleeping. he did not go home from the place for some reason. are you sure her was not drinking and decided to sleep over to be safe and not drive. you need to talk to him before this gets out of control.
2 people like this
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
I am calming down here my friend but deep inside I feel like bursting out. I don't want to show to people here in our house that I am going through this problem. Anyway, with regards to him sleeping, I would understand that he can't text that he is sleeping but how can't text me when he wakes up that he was sleeping already and that he was sorry about it? Well, he didn't go home because according to him, his auntie said just let the night pass. I was really angry because he went their very early in the morning and he has the whole afternoon to go home safe. Why couldn't he find a way to excuse from the event. Whatever it is, I don't want to take it to the heart because the more I think of it, the more I am very down.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
12 Mar 12
Did the two of you made agreements about what to tell the other? It sounds like me as if you want to control every step he takes. Personally it would kill me and I would surely try to escape from you. I wonder if all these ideas in your head are not making the situation worser as it really is. If so it will ruin your relationship for sure. If you really think (objectively) that he changed in the past few ... then it's the time to sit together and talk about it. Before you have this chat think over first what you want. Is it fine for you to keep your friend and play stupid and blind and be heartbroken time after time? Or do you find yourself a great person who deserves better?
1 person likes this
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
I don't control everything in our relationship my friend. In fact, I am very generous with him and good enough to understand because he is also like that to me. Our relationship is normal before this happened although we are always fighting. I don't want to be reason that I ruined the relationship as much as possible because I love him. He said he will try to explain by tomorrow. I am just hear to listen to his explanations. All I want is an honest answer and what he want to this relationship.
1 person likes this
@kini03 (222)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
cean i think there is something wrong with your`e boyfriend .he was in the relationship so he need to be open,and honest with you. i guess you need to talk to him seriously and tell him what all you want to say ,believe me in this one "boys are good liers ,you must to think of it if you still want to be with him even if he doesn`t have time with you . my advice is dont love too much ,because love gives you only limitation .. i hope you understand what im trying to say ,cheer up my friend .. :)
1 person likes this
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
I cried while reading your response my friend. I have loved him too much maybe he is abusing my goodness already. I have to put an end about this matter and clear things out first. Thanks Kini!
@sanofer (525)
• India
12 Mar 12
girls always worry about what their boy friend is doing,did he eat etc. We always sit and think about them and bothes about them. But dont worry. Guys are really cool and they know to take care of them. So dont worry yourself and hurt him too.
1 person likes this
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
I didn't hurt him. He is the one who actually who have hurt my feelings. He is so insensitive. I want to generalize. Thanks! I am the type of person who wants to know every detail and now he is not telling me. I feel suspicious.
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Hi there cearn25, The best way to address this issue is to address the issu to your guy, being a guy and had been in a long relationship myself , we wanna know what the problem is ( we can be insensitive sometimes ) so just ask him nicely about the problem, tell him how you want things to change and how this will hurt you if he continues his way, if he doesnt wanna even try to make little changes at a time then dump him . The guy is no good.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
He is no good! I really want to dump him right now! He doesn't care of what I feel. He doesn't even texts me how I am doing. He is so irresponsible and so selfish. Now I just realized.
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
It sounds like your boyfriend is ignoring or neglecting you, is it? Maybe he is just too busy that he forget those common things he used to do. Just give him another chance, talk with him and clear these things. If you feel that he doesn't love you anymore, you have to accept the reality- that's one fact of every relationship, not all relationship are meant to last forever. I hope your case is not like that, hope for the best after you have talked with him.
1 person likes this
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Thank you my friend for your suggestions. I will give chance to let him explain about it. I am ready for whatever it is that will happen my friend be it sad or happy ending although I love him.
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Do not think too much. It's normal for us girls to be worried about our boyfriend's actions, but we must not be paranoid if he's doing something different from usual. Don't be mad about those things that only your mind has created. Talk to him about how you feel and what you think about his actions recently and be open to accept and understand him. Be rational. Show him that you are a woman who love, care and understand him. That way, if ever he's really doing something wrong, his conscience will awake him.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
I believe I am that woman who loves, cares and understands him. I can attest to that! Maybe I am just taking too much! Okay, I will give chance. Let's see.
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Okay, i think he is busy or else doing.Maybe there is something wrong.If you want.you can talk to him about to tell you wherever he go,and you need to know about him more. You can't easy to trust people in these days,you need to be careful..But don't loose hope,you can talk about the problems and if you know the he is not interested,acting different,don't give fully trust to Him.
1 person likes this
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
He is not busy because he is just at home always. He is acting really weird! I told him not to go to this place but then he still insists to. And how can I talk to him about the problem if he is not meeting me. My trust for him has lost already.
@rozilynf (140)
12 Mar 12
don't think to much about that, calm your self, may be he just have a big problem, all you have to do is make a conversation to your boyfriend and tell him whats yours problem to him, for you and his to make things clear, so you don't confused about that,, & also don't fall in love too much, it just hurting you.. always opened your mind that possible to happen, give your self a space so you can get hurt as much.. say to your boyfriend what you want, love is about give & take.. Say it to him so he will listen to you, Goodluck in your relationship i hope it will help your love life..
@rozilynf (140)
12 Mar 12
Sorry for sentence i mean GIVE UR SELF A SPACE SO YOU CAN'T GET HURT..
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Hello my friend! Thank you for all the things you have said. I will try to converse with my boyfriend. But it is not me who will make the first move. Maybe I am just hurting myself if I will push myself about it. I am very tired already. He must be serious now. It is okay about your sentence. I am giving myself a space right now.
@rozilynf (140)
12 Mar 12
Thats good idea, i feel that your really in love with your boyfriend, make things clear.. I also have more advice, don't wait your partner make move, you said that your confused for you not to get confused face it, make a move go with him face the reality, sometimes if you wait your partner to move, its just like a stone that don't have feel anything, & just nothing.. find your truely happiness, don't make your self tired.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
hi there. you should talk with your boyfriend and clear it up. ask him if he still love you and why he is acting that way. open communication is very important in every relationship. you need to spend more time together to prevent drifting apart. if you can fix things out then better and he should cooperate with you. you should not work alone in relationship. both of you should work for it to stay long. i hope you can make things okay when after your talk.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
Thank you my friend for the advises you have given me. At least I am sort of enlightened now. I am okay now though we have never talked yet. We still have to find time and I am not yet ready to face him. We always communicate my friend but rarely now. I don't text him or call him either. I don't disturb him. In short, I am giving him space and peace.
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
your welcome dear. i will agree with what you are doing. give him space so he could think also. then you, give yourself a break from him and make some rest also. it will refresh everything and hopefully you can talk to end or start up whatever it should have.
12 Mar 12
Hi! regarding to your question " what will you do regardng to your boyfriend" i just want to share something about a friend of mine who just the same situation you have.. Her boyfriend always avoiding her. Everytime she ask "where are you, what you doing and etc question." her boyfriend just say ok, just a minute, i'm here with a friend; so oneday she realize that this is enough; she try to stop texting her boyfriend,she ignored all the calls & msgs. Its hard for her to do all those things because she love the guy. But its working. the guy was nw confuse why her girlfriend was not calling her or even sending her a text msgs.. so he try to look for a way or reasons why her girlfriend is now avoiding her.. i'm not saying that you need to follow what my friend do, just try. if not working then try another one. if still not working. give him space....
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
That is what I am planning to do right now my friend. I just control myself not to text him. I am going through that. I hope it works. So that I can rest myself from all the pain. Thanks a lot my friend. You are so good.
13 Mar 12
Your welcome, just try it, if's not working then find another ways to make him realize that he miss someone... good luck
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Hello cearn25, as far as I read your comments above, I guess you already had a talk with your boyfriend with regard to this matter. This kind of situation really happens mostly to all. Forgetting to text is okay, but if he constantly forgets to text you, then it might sound like he does not care anymore about you. As a boyfriend, he has an obligation to know how you are doing this day, same thing with you, you have an obligation to know how he is doing. Constant communication is really important for a healthy relationship. Regardless of what I say, I am sure your boyfriend had already explained his side regarding this matter to you and it sounds like you already forgave him. That's good. I hope from now on everything would really turn out okay from your end. You take good care and GOD bless.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Yes during the day I made this discussion, my boyfriend is made aware that I am very angry at him because I told him. He should know his obligation, stop neglecting me and not just minding his own self. Thanks God we are okay now. Thanks too my friend! Your comment is so helpful.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
15 Mar 12
If u have problems, talk to him. IF he refuse to listen, leave him. HE's taking u for granted and if u are not happy, leave the relationship. It's that simple I believe he doesn't really feel for u anymore or he has already found someone new, that's why he's kinda ignoring u at the moment If he still feel for you, he would listen to u, put himself in your situation and think. Do talk to him, from there u will get all your answers as well as decisions
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Last night, I met him. We talked about what happened and he's feeling sorry for it. I don't want to prolong his agony so I have forgiven him. He explained to me everything. I told him not to do it again. I hope he will not.
1 person likes this
@mjweed21 (693)
• Philippines
14 Mar 12
I suggests that you really have to discuss that matter with you boyfriend. I understand how you are feeling right now for I had been on that situation just a month ago. It was disappointing and heartbreaking however for some reason you ought to know the truth, the reason behind those actuation.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
15 Mar 12
Thank you my friend. I have already settled down about the problem. We are okay now. Thanks God.
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
What you have to recognise is that, time for love depends on the ease of life. If life is hard, more time is spent thinking how to sort things out, therefore losing time spent together. If life is easy, he can stop thinking and start spending happy time with you. That's the reality of life. If knowledge can be downloaded under a short time, he won't have to introspect but that is just unrealistic. Let go your suspicions and learn to trust your bf.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I am moving on now my friend for the better. I don't want to make things worse. I don't want to make it complicated. I hate the feeling. Thank you so much!
• India
13 Mar 12
I think at first you discuss your problem with your boyfriend. I think it works. Have a nice day.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
Thank you my friend. Hope it works and everything will be okay.
@Hatley (164743)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Mar 12
hi if you are just his girlfrie nd why should he have to check in and out with you all the time? if you love him you should trust him and look men do not like to be checked on every five or six hours like that. would you like it if a friend called on you four or five times just to know what you are doing? Has he given you any reason not to trust him? Maybehe is trying to tell you do not be so distrusting that you have to know everything he is doing as he is no married to you.You do not make sense wanting him to text you when he is sleeping.If you were living together I could understand your concern but apart you are making a mountain out fo a molehill.love,trust and respect all go together.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
13 Mar 12
I would just like to defend my side my friend, my boyfriend doesn't have to tell me EVERYTHING he is doing. All I want is that being a girlfriend of him, he must also informed me at least so that I won't be worried. Tell me if that is wrong then. I don't go obsessed. I am very patient and understanding. I don't go beyond the limits because I am just a mere girlfriend.
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Do you suspect that he's into another girl? Did you try talking to him already? In every relationship, communication and trust are the two things that are important. YOu need to talk to him. The reason why he's acting like there's no problem is maybe you haven't told him how awful you feel being treated that way. If you did and he still continues to act that way then just let go.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Yes, I am suspecting about it my friend. I hope it is not true. I haven't got the chance talking to him yet my friend because I have classes. You are right. Constant communication is very important. I already informed him about what I am feeling right now. Still, he is taking no actions about it.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
If he use to text you and tell you everything he does or anywhere he goes, and suddenly he stopped doing it, I think he is seeing someone. Why don't you ask him about it? And tell him what you feel.
@cearn25 (3460)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Oh my gosh. That is so heartbreaking my friend. I must confront him about that matter as soon as possible. I will surely ask him. I hope he will honest with me.