what will you do to say no?

Philippines
March 24, 2012 10:15am CST
I am always in the middle of stress when my friends ask me for a night out during their free time, not because I don't want to join them but because I don't have money to spend for the night out. I know that they will treat me, but is it pride that pulls me back on joining them. I'm not that type who will always ask money from my parents just to go out with my friends. Also, I have to consider that I have obligations at home. Its really hard to say No to them, if you were me what will you do to say no?
20 responses
@bhonti (1247)
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
Just simply say no to them. Tell them that you need to spend time to your family more and they are expecting you to come early. But do not pull this trick always, you should give in to them once in a while so they will not say that you are a total kill joy.
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
They always tell me that I'm kill joy when I disapprove them. That's why sometimes I just turn off my phone for an excuse.
@bhonti (1247)
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
They will think of that for some time. Let them. Eventually, they will realize that you are not outgoing as they are, and they will get used to it. I have friends that we accepted for being home-buddies that if they do not want to come with us for a get together, its okay for us.
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
it bothers me that if they get used to it they might lose appetite on me although I know that they won't neglect me as their friend, I'm just paranoid at times that I will be left alone.
• Sweden
24 Mar 12
1.I would say i need to help my parents with something ( make out a story) 2.I don't feel alright 3.Make out a lie that it won't be obvious that you didn't do that
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
Sometimes I'm not good on telling lies.
• United States
25 Mar 12
There is no need to lie! Lies are always found out ancd cause problems. The answer I suggested in my original answer to this question is the best and most effective one ANYONE can use - and it is not a lie. ANY of life's other happenings can be those 'othe plans'.
@smilemoon (767)
• United Arab Emirates
24 Mar 12
I may say, thank you to invite me but thanks I don't want to. or I may say, Wow that would be cool for sure but please excuse me I can't join you. You go and have fun.
• United States
25 Mar 12
This is a great answer without lying! God bless you.
@dazzledlady (1626)
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
Tell them that truth. If you dont have money at that time say so and you do not want them to treat you always. Say maybe some other time or in other activities and you also have obligations to attend to. Creating lame lies will create a gap in your friendship.If they are your true friends, surely they will understand.
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
I'm 100 percent sure that they are my true friends. Maybe its just frustrating for my part when their happenings will be postponed because of me, they wanted that our group were always complete when having night outs.
• India
7 Jul 12
You are a very responsible individual and I urge you to keep it up. Do not become a victim of peer pressure. On the other hand do not alienate yourself completely from your friends because you need friends in this world. Make time and go out with them at least once per month and explain to them why you cannot do it more often. A true friend will understand and respect your decisions.
@cieldz (711)
• Indonesia
29 Mar 12
Hello egram09 :) I faced the same experiences with you when I was in school and college.. I didn’t have money to spend when I went out with them, and sometimes I lied to my friends and said that I already have another plans to do.. I didn’t want them to treat me everytime we go.. But for my closest friends, I told them the true that I cannot join them because I didn’t have money and I didn’t want them to treat me always.. Now, after I finished my study and have a job, I can easily go with my friends, and I don’t need to worry again with the money..
@9jbas22 (66)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
If I were you I'll just tell the truth. Sooner or later you'll run out of good alibis and have to tell the truth anyway. Tell the truth that you have no money and in fact you are working to earn some. Show them your mylot discussion as proof. Better is convince them to join mylot. If you'd be able to do that there would be no more friends disturbing your mylot activities next time. You'll be all here discussing why it's not good to go out at night.LOL!
@meozard22 (872)
• Philippines
26 Mar 12
I've been in this situation so many times. Well if you really can't go, just explain everything to your friends. If they are really your friends, I'm sure they will understand. Still there will be times that you will have your own budget to go along with your friends and have some fun. But if money is not the issue and you really can't go, its not bad to say no, just include your explanations
@tonyllenium (6267)
• Italy
26 Mar 12
you can say that in those days you are busy and so you can't join them or you don't feel so good and you'd prefer stay at home...something like that i think they are calssic excuses to say no when you decide to stay at home for your own reasons...
• United States
25 Mar 12
One of best 'tools' for saying "NO" is this: "I have other plans." No explanation is necessary, just that simple statement. The 'other plans' could be just to go to bed early, take a walk, finish a book you are reading or spend some time with your parents. Never offer an explanation and if pushed to do so, the simplest explanation is best. I have had this siutation in my life many time as an almost 71 year old great grandmother. It works well ALL of the time.
@jhuddith (222)
• Philippines
25 Mar 12
For me, there's nothing wrong with saying no. Being honest is the best way. I,myself, turn grumpy if I can't get an honest answer. I make it a point, though, in ensuring that I socialize with them on a regular basis, not necessarily through night outs. This is to ensure that I don't neglect a relationship by retreating into my nest. With that, my friends will not be too upset whenever i can not be with them on the night out. (,")
• Philippines
25 Mar 12
You're friends, if they are really your friends, they'll totally understand you...And you, if you are really their friends, you won't lie... One thing that I really value the most in friendship or in any kind of relationship is honesty. Without it, then your relationship is pointless. Just tell them whatever you feel. Anyway, even if you join them for the night out when you don't want to, you will never enjoy that moment. I've been in that situation several times when I was studying. Most of my friends were well off and they always had this plan every weekend and I always had to say no, whether I lied or not, they do know that I don't want to go with them and they respect it.
• Philippines
25 Mar 12
I would tell my friends that I really can't go out because I don't have money. If they are your real friends, they would understand that you can't go because you ran out of cash or rather would still let you go with them and would just pay for your drinks or whatever you consume on your night out then perhaps, next time, when you have the money already, it's either you can treat them since you have the money already or you can pay for the money you've made them pay when you were out and you didn't have any money.
@Archaiwy (599)
• China
25 Mar 12
If I were you ,I would say no to them ,telling them i had something else to do at the present time. I think if you refuse them several times they will not ask you next time. And don't be worried that you will lose them .If they are your good friends, they will not force you to do something against your will.On the contrary, they will consider your feelings when doing so next time.Have a good time.
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
25 Mar 12
I would just tell them no. Plain and simple bottom line, that is what I am going to say. And there have been times where I have been right in that unfortunate position of having to tell friends "no" when they have tried to invite me. If you were truthfully friends, they would just leave it right out that, without any question whatsoever. Especially considering that there are times where I don't have money and it seems like some people do have money to burn. A foolish nature of life. I would just tell them the truth. And if they are my friends, they will accept that without trying to pressure me. And if they try to pressure...well I don't know what to tell you. But I will say that friends, real friends, do not pressure. There is no need to concoct some tale, because that just proves that the need for an outrageous tale just results right into an unhealthy relationship just one hundred percent of the time. At least in my experience that is.
@TheIzers (680)
25 Mar 12
Well, I think you can just be honest with them since they are good friend of yours I think they will understand you easily. Other choice is you can simply say 'maybe other time'
• Canada
25 Mar 12
I would be upfront and honest with your friends. perhaps throw around a few ideas that isn't costly. Maybe a picnic on the beach, or in a park someplace. It's ultimate cheap, and with the economy the way it is, this would be a perfect afternoon activity for friends looking to get out, and share some laughs.
@lowyder (282)
• Canada
24 Mar 12
1,Im home sick and wont be able to make it tonight 2,im helping my mom dad ...or say you gotta go to your grandmas out of town.. 3.say you have to workk if you have like job somewhere .. 4.just dont respond and reply after you know there backk saying sorry i just seen your messages. ..lol everyone else prettty much said those but if they missed n e hope it helps that is just what i say to my friends that i dont feel like going out with ...witch is almost everytime lately lol ...
@berting600 (3461)
• Philippines
24 Mar 12
I think you must not let down your friends that they are the ones who invited you, then go out and join them.There is no harm in joining with your friends even if you have no money because they should treat you by inviting you.You should not deprived yourself to accompany your friends because it is not everyday that they have money to treat you and so was you are not living your obligations back home that it just happens that they all have money to treat you.They are truly your friends so you must also treat them someday when you have money to spent.This is just my opinion that you must join your friends yet as you ask on how to say no.That is very simple by just telling them all that you are the only one oblige to do all chores at home that you can not go out with them even if you like to go.Then tell them that you appreciate their thoughtfulness to be your friends that you look forward to their goodness to you.After that wish for their enjoyment and just let them feel that you are with them in their adventures and entertainment.
• South Korea
24 Mar 12
I will really tell that i dont have money to go out..and even though they will treat you..you just dont feel like going out or doing anything when you dont have money.. trust me everybody has that moment.. and its easier to tell the truth and make up those stories that they might find out not true later..hihih