40 and still single.

@bulastika (5967)
Philippines
April 5, 2012 6:22pm CST
Just wondering. If I got married and have a baby when I reach 45 years old when my baby grow up and graduate in college I'm already 65 years old. I think I'm too old for my baby graduation don't you agree? lols. .. Right now I feel that I need to invest to have a family now. But since I don't have a job to start with I don't even know where to start. I don't want to have a family that I cant' afford to raise and give good life.
2 people like this
21 responses
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
hi there, how old are you now? maybe this is the time that you look for a job too. hhehehe. i have been wanting the same too but i just want to be stable and okay with everything first. i want to be a Mrs. already
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
I been looking for a job for five years now and I'm still looking for job until now. Its easy to look for a job if you are 25 and below but since I'm more than 30 right now. I have hard time finding a job. I'm I'm still not stopping in searching for a job.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
17 Apr 12
I done this for five years now. If you can five me a site that I can check the better. That's why I'm always online hoping that their will come a day that I will going to find a site that going to pay me like 500 dollars a month. Or a salary that is worth it.
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
17 Apr 12
whoa that would be hard to find if it's 500 dollars a month LOL why not start a business instead? borrow money from family, or load at the bank? you can't just rely on the internet.
• United States
5 Apr 12
I really don't think it should matter at all. The only concern should be to have a happy child that you loved, raised, took care of, and provided all life has to offer. Age shouldn't matter as long as you can provide these essentials. If you do all this, your child will be happy to have you attend their graduation regardless of your age. Love is love. You can't just make this happen...the timing must be right and when you find the right companion for life, all will fall into place.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
And I guess with advance of technology. ages really does not matter anymore. I mean before when you say that your grandpa is 60 years old you think his old already. But now 80's is consider old. if you are in 60's and 70's you are still young. lols.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 12
"But now 80's is consider old. if you are in 60's and 70's you are still young. lols." Thank you, I'm 65, haha! Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You can't make things happen and you might not meet someone today or tomorrow. You might not marry until you're 42-43-44, and what if you still want a child? So go for it! And if worse gets to worse, there is always adoption, right? No matter what happens, you do have some choice there. As long as this baby or child is happy and well cared for, no one has any right to say anything. And the child will love you regardless. Just keep up with the times and you'll be fine.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
Actually that's not my point. Its more on physical aspect. Lets face it. Its better that you have with you a teenager and you can play basketball together or go hiking together etc. Not a teenager towing its grandpa or something like that. lols. That's actually my point. Its not what other think but me. I prefer to have a child that I can play basketball with. But I guess by the time I got a baby. I'm sure I'm old when he or she become a teenager.
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
So, you're now 40 years old? Have you found the right one for you? The one who you'll spend the rest of your life with? It's better to pick the right one first before jumping into the conclusion of getting married. It's hard to get married to a person you'll soon hate and wished to end up your relationship. How about the promise you'll both serve in front of the Lord? Better think first if she's the right one. But then, yes, you have to have financial freedom first before marrying someone. It's really hard to have a family that you are not prepared to give them good life.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
14 Apr 12
I'm not 40 years old. lols. Its just an advance thought. Anyway I don't found one yet and I'm not planning. At this stage of my life its easy to find someone that to find a decent job. lols. I'm planning to have my own house. some good money in the bank and decent job before I'm even planning to settle down.
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
2 May 12
Of course it's better to have financial freedom first before making your own family. I just hope it's not too late for finding the right girl. Well, if it's your time to have a family, it will come. Goodluck on finding job and lovelife as well.
• India
2 May 12
Remember that you are living for you sake. So you can take the decisions for you life but make sure that it do not hurt people a lot. So I think there is still time to start a family If you wish to start now.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
12 May 12
I don't think I will and I can right now. financial reason is the main reason. I need to find a decent job right now. I need to buy a house right now. As long as I have place to live and decent earning then I'm happy. That's all that I need.
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
IF I were you, don't raise a family you can't afford. Unless you're marrying someone rich. Lol. At 40, I'd suggest you get a dog to get you busy. You can train em to do stuff and they're not high maintenance. You don't have to put them to college. But you know, you do whatever makes you happy. =)
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
28 Apr 12
We have four dogs in our house. lols. I guess that's keep my blood pressure up especially when they become hyper they end up messing our house. lols. Yeah. But its also lots of expense even if you don't put them in college. lols. Dog foods and quarterly check ups also eats my limited budget.
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
if you are in a hurry, i can find a job and find someone to marry at same time. if you find someone, you can't just marry him right away. you still have to know that person well and it takes time. and you can use that time to saving up for your future family. because raising a family isn't that easy.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
28 Apr 12
I know and I'm not in a hurry. I'm just pointing the consequence of getting married late. I'm not saying I'm in the hurry and I'm not planning also. And I'm already accept my life as single for ever. Because right now. My main objective is to be financially stable.
@atwilson (540)
• Indonesia
13 Apr 12
Just be grateful. God has plan for you. :)
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
I am gratetful if theirs something to be grateful in the first place. I know its hard to earn money both online and offline. But being grateful in something that is given is I really well appreciated. Believe me I'm grateful in every little things that come into my life.
@Hatley (163915)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Apr 12
bulastika get that job first then mingle and find the mate you have beenf looking for, and let nature take its course. lot of women marry and have children in their forties.if you love each other, and love your babies and provide for your family together there should be no problme of when he or she graduates. I did not marry til 33 but glad i did and had 33 great years of marriage.. nothing wrong with being in your sixties if you have to be and see your child or children graduate as long as you had a great family life and all are happy./
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
What do you think I'm doing in the last five years of my life? I'm trying to find a job. Problem is that its either I'm overage or over qualified. And I can't also try to apply in jobs for my age because of my limited achievement in both academic and position when I'm still working. That's my plan five years ago. But as long I can't find a decent job or even a job then theirs no way I can achieve my dream.
6 Apr 12
I think for now. The best thing you can do is to love yourself and everything will follow. Take away all the worries in your heart with prayers. I am still single right now and I am 27 years old. I haven't got into serious relationship. But I am praying for one and forever. Everybody needs somebody and I believe God will make a way for that two person to become one in Christ.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
Actually when I open this thread I'm not thinking that I'm really lonely. I'm just thinking the what if. Since we can't freeze time. if we grow old we need someone to take care of us. And that's what I'm thinking right now. I don't want to grow old and the next of kin is my best friend children. lols. If you know what I mean. I want to be take care of by my own blood also.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
Getting into marriage is certainly one decision only you can make. You don't have to go into it if it's not for you because you might regret it especially if you marry the wrong person.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
14 Apr 12
Actually that's not really my main object. My main objective is to look at the future and see myself lets say 80 years old alone in home of the aged. Are you happy with that? that's just want I'm thinking. its not about now its actually about years later.
• Turkey
6 Apr 12
In my humble opinion there is nothing wrong with having a baby at age 40 or even 45 but there is definitely a problem if you do not have a job. Babies are not little dolls that do not need to eat and drink and be clothed. Babies need all kinds of care and when they get ill even more so, then medicines and doctors visits will also cost a lot. They need to be educated - high costs for that alone - they need proper after school care if you are working, etc.. It isn't possible to raise a child properly on unemployment..its not fair to the baby or to you for that matter.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
14 Apr 12
Of course theirs nothing wrong to have a baby on 40 or even 50. My point is that its good to have a baby when you are young because you can have good interaction with your child when your child is already teenager or even when your child have a family. Since you can still take care of your grandchildren. Just imagine when you are already 80 years old when your child get married.
@Extourmed (191)
• Bulgaria
6 Apr 12
I don't think it matters how old are you. You should chase your dream no matter what. For a start maybe you should start dating from the online or going more often at bars or something. We all deserve to be happy and you should chase your dream and the fact that you don't have a family and you still thinking of how you should afford a good life for your future family definitely means that you'll be a good mother. Don't give up on having a family if you want it. That's my advice :) ! Take care !
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
14 Apr 12
I agree. its not the age that matters its how you enjoy life that is matter. It does not matter if you have good job or barely surviving what matters is how you enjoy life. But its also important that we don't think about now but sometimes our future as well. I know theirs a home of the aged when we grown old. But Me I prefer to have a family that going to take care of me.
@HomeBase (1054)
• United States
6 Apr 12
I think it would be ok to have a baby in your 40's, but I DO think it all depends on HOW WELL you take care of yourself, and what you know your energy level to be. At age 55, an aunt of mine adopted an infant. My aunt was slim, trim, in-shape, looked like she was actually 35 instead of 55 because she took REALLY good care of herself, not to mention good genes. As a matter of fact, she had a step-son that was 30 years YOUNGER than her, the step-son played in a jazz band. One day my aunt went to a club where the step-son's band was playing, just for a nice outing, and to enjoy the music. The step-son had a WIFE, who was also in the audience, who had never met my aunt (the step-mother). When the step-son was finished playing a set, he went over to talk to his step-mom (my aunt). The WIFE had a fit and accused him of having a girlfriend and CHEATING on her. Not a pretty scene. The step-son explained to his wife, "That's not my girlfriend, that's my MOTHER." My aunt was VERY physically active, and a very hard worker. She ate well, grew a lot of vegetables and did a lot of "canning" of her own food. She also did a lot of swimming, a lot of camping and fishing, lots of dancing. She also kept an immaculate house. NEVER dirty. Adopting an infant when she was 55 was like a walk in the park for her. Worked out fine. Another lady I know who is 44 years old now, gave birth to a daughter 4 years ago. This 44 year old mother is in good shape, jogs every morning, goes to school to further her education, and is very active. She takes care of her daughter no problem. I know some 65 year olds that look VERY good for their age. It is 2012, and there is so much out there that one can do to have a very high quality of life. If you take care of yourself, you can look GREAT at 65, and be a very vital and vibrant person.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
14 Apr 12
Thanks for the long reply although my intention when I open this thread actually is not about being single when you are forty and healthy but about being forty and still don't have a baby and of course your thinking that you grown old and you don't have a family of your own to take care of you if you grow old kind of thing. But thanks. Its really a great inspiration.
• India
6 Apr 12
dont e think like that having a family is awesum thing god give us life to live and enjoy and if we do not do this than we are failled in god exam and waste his trust so try to go for marry and live anice life
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
Theirs a difference between living and alive. Right now I'm jut alive but not living. lets face it in this modern world what we need is money in order to survive. the more money we have the more we can afford to have a good life.
@surfer222 (1715)
• Indonesia
6 Apr 12
Don't worry friend, Bruce Willis is older than you and he just had another baby... I think i agree with you about not having a baby if you can't afford to give a good life., but you can have a wife if she's on the same boat as you about not having kids.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
I'm not worried and that's not my issue. As I explained above or my reply to other poster in here. Its because that if we have a teenager then we are already old. And I'm time of person who want to be strong when my child is already a teenager. I want to be with him when he is playing basketball and I don't like to be an oldman trying to be someone that is much younger.
@olliekobra1 (1826)
6 Apr 12
Your situation could always change maybe you could get a rearly well paid job or even better meet a single millionaire who wants to start a family fingers crossed.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
I prefer to find a millonaire. lols. And borrow some money to open my own company and make it grow. the more I earn the more I want to grow. For me to be successful is to have your dream come true. Although I can't chance the pass but I'm hoping that I can chance the future.
@MyLifez (54)
• United States
6 Apr 12
Well, to be honest I think some other things in your life have to fall into place before you're ready for a baby. A good spouse (who is already working) is needed first! and then maybe after that a decent job for you. I had a friend who never wanted children but finally married and had her first child at age 41. It was the best thing she ever did. I can't tell you how important her daughter is to her. Unfortunately, she ended up divorcing her husband so the daughter has born the brunt of that and that has been very sad to see. I would say that if you can find a man who could be a good father and would be good to you and wants to have children with you, go for it! It will be the best decision you ever made.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
Then its only shows that she is not a good mother. For me a child has nothing to do with it. She's the one who chooses who is going to be the father. So why blame it to the child right? In our house a baby will be a blessing. Because our family members are either old maids or can't have a baby. Your friend will only realize that when she get old at least theirs someone that going to take care of her.
• United States
5 Apr 12
I would not wan to have child now because I am 42.. that will be like a grandmother raising a grand child in a few years. I will be tired and not have the get up and go like I did with m daughter and it would just not be fair to the child.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
hahaha. that true. but since you already have a daughter of your own I guess theirs no need to have another baby. What I mean are for those singles who are just going to settle down now. Who still have no baby that they can call their own. .. Of course you need to be worry also. If you have a child too late how can you raise that child? You can't work if you are 70 years old and expecting to raise a 10 years old kid until college right?
• Philippines
2 Jun 12
age doesnt matter thats it.!
@TrvlArrngr (4058)
• United States
31 May 12
Go for it! Motherhood is great no matter how old you are. Your children will love you no matter what.