Ending a friendship- is it worth it?

Australia
April 6, 2012 5:19am CST
Have you ever ended a friendship? I ended a friendship with my ex best friend and honestly afterwards I just felt...numb. It was because my mother was nagging me how she was a bad influence on me. I'm very impressionable, so what she said made sense. It's going to be the 2nd year soon (I remember the exact date, haha) and although I'm more over it, I can't look this person in the eye (we go to the same college). It's more awkward since she's in one of my group of friends. But I suppose even if something or someone makes you happy... If it's best to let them go, it's best to let them p. even though it hurts, haha.
4 people like this
12 responses
@Extourmed (191)
• Bulgaria
6 Apr 12
Well I think it's never late to rebuild an old friendship and whatever bad influence she has on you I'm sure that the good things that you can get from this friendship are more. And what respond would you expend from someone if you tell him out of nowhere that you don't wanna be friend with him anymore. She was probably devistated. You should talk to her and maybe apologies or something. That's least that you can do. I Think you owe her that. Good luck :)
• Australia
6 Apr 12
I almost worked up the courage to say sorry last year, but I chickened out, haha. She's pretty unemotional. That's how people view her, uncaring to the world around her. I'm just really scared I'll be rejected or she'll be like "wth I'm over that crap lolololololololol".
1 person likes this
• Australia
7 Apr 12
Thank you for the advice, haha, its always better when you have personal experience .
1 person likes this
• Bulgaria
6 Apr 12
Well she's probably just covering her emotions deep inside her. She can't be that unemotional if she cried because of you. And think about it, if you are not over it, probably she's not too. I mean she was the one who take it more deeply, but even if she didn't accept your apology you owe her that. I can tell you that when I was in high school, I found one girl that became my best friend even if she was a girl and I'm a guy we were best friends. The time was going by and we were very close, I even remember that for her birthday I gave her a beautiful ring that cost me 50$ and that's a lot of money for 15 year old. I still remember the look on her face, she was thrilled. Whatever at the end of the school year she was kind of keeping distance from me, she stopped sitting beside me in class and I'll never forget at the graduation of 8 grade she even didn't say bye when she walk away. And now we're still at the same class but we never talk or anything. She hurts me a lot and I never forget that. I will be very happy if I heard at least one apology from her. So that's why I hope you apology to the poor girl because I know the feeling, that's something that never goes by - to be betrayed by someone and been forgot with not knowing why ! So do the right thing - that's my advice :). Good Luck
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
7 Apr 12
I have ended a few friendships but never because someone else told me to do it! More times former friends and I just drifted apart without any actual ending, and in a few cases we met up again and picked it up where it left off. I would only end a friendship if the other person did something I considered criminal or deeply immoral and then in that case it would be a permanent end. I would not necessarily sever a friendship over something that I found out about that had happened in the past, but if it was something they did to me or with me, I would end it. An example would be if my friend and I went shopping together and if I saw my friend steal. That would not be my friend any more.
• Australia
10 Apr 12
Yeah, I still blame myself for ending the friendship. Like, if I were going to end it, I should have atleast done it on completely my own free will. What I did was not fair to her. And haha, if my friend stole I would be severely dissapointed in them, but I would not stop being their friend just because of that. I'd just lose the respect I'd had for them.
@ChoukseyMK (1045)
• India
6 Apr 12
true friendship never ends. but relationship between two friends having mismatch thinking is not good. your mother may not be wrong as she has experience to judge good or bad. respect your mother's feelings always.
• Australia
6 Apr 12
Our friendship was very true. We basically relied on each other for everything and shut everyone else out. Sometimes true friendships need to end too I suppose. Or end when the shouldn't.
@maezee (41997)
• United States
6 Apr 12
I think if you think you are better off without this friend, then you should definitely end the friendship. I have ended MANY friendships over the years. Sometimes I miss having that friend, but if they bring negativity (and nothing but negativity) into your life, I figure we are better off without them! Happy MyLotting!
@cloud31 (5809)
6 Apr 12
I ended friendship in my life once. I have a friend who's taking me for granted.At first it was just an accidents and so I keep helping her with all her worries and there times comes I've known that she used to do the same with all those friends around her. And so all of a sudden I confronted her of what she has done to me and at the the same time I ended our friendship.I've been a fool trusting all her stories and all her tears was just not real as she had showed me. Although it happened that way. I can say I didn't regret knowing her.At least I've learned something about her and those kind of incidents that I may encounter again someday.
• Australia
6 Apr 12
^ I didn't regret the experience either :) you basically summed up what I was feeling, except she was in fault, we were both in fault. I'm sorry for your loss in a friend too, even if your experience didn't sound nice, something must have drawn you to her in the first place.
• United States
6 Apr 12
Sounds like it was a good thing in the growth of yourself. It is hard, I had the same thing with a really close friend of mine half way through college. It got to the point that I would watch and if I saw her walking up I would turn around, take another road, duck into a classroom because it was painful for both of us. I think by the end of college we were able to at least glance at each other and acknowledge the other person, but it never went beyond that. It will be easier when you leave college..it was for me anyway. I haven't seen or talked to her since.
• Australia
10 Apr 12
Oh my god, that sounds exactly like my situation. When we locked gazes we would always look away awkwardly afterwards. At the end of last year though she started holding my gaze, talking to me. I became saddened, because I realised at that moment in time that she's moving on. I always had this like comforting feeling in my heart that maybe someday we'd become friends again.
@egram09 (78)
• Philippines
6 Apr 12
I guess friendship still remains, but whats lost is your communication. You can say it literally to un-friend him or her, but if you two had deep company before, I guess that even you agree verbally to end your friendship, you will still remember the things that you both shared as friends and that memories will not be erased.
• Australia
6 Apr 12
I literally told her in an email we couldn't be friends anymore. I think at the time I was kind of hoping she'd care or say something (she's pretty unemotional). So I just let it go thinking she didn't care. It wasn't until a year later that I found out from another friend that she cried :/ if I had known I wouldn't have let our friendship go.
@jinky2012 (438)
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
your friendship is still there, but the thing is no contact at all.Maybe and you wish to talk again but you are just ashamed.lol.and why is really the reason why you end it up? Is there something deep friendship you made?
@yiart65 (146)
• Singapore
6 Apr 12
If you think that the friendship is still worth fighting for, you should find ways to amend that friendship. A true friend is difficult to find. Even if your mum said that your friend is a bad influence, you should judge that yourself. You are the on who knows your friend the best, at least, much better than your mum. Why do you let others decide who you should be friends with? Think about it, is she a friend that you want to keep for life? If yes, do something to salvage this friendship before it's totally gone and you will live to regret it.
• China
7 Apr 12
I think friendship is very important for a person in her/his life. I ever was misunderstanded by one of my best friend, who is indeed my best friend, because we ever spared a good time during university. I know our such friendship is very pure and sincerely. so when I know that my best friend is misunderstanding me because she just heard some bad news from others, I feet very unhappy, so I just emailed her and told her, hope her can forgive me. afterwords, we still keep in a good friendship. Therefore, we need to cherish our friendship when we think our friend who is deserve us to cherish.
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
13 Apr 16
I have been through plenty of these issues. My best friend of 9 months and she back stabbed me good. Now I barely speak to her in person.
@mom210 (9036)
• United States
13 Apr 16
Hopefully she has grown up a little bit and might make a better friend for you now that you are both older.