Should I pay to help him out?

@thedaddym (1737)
United States
May 23, 2012 10:32am CST
Several of my family members are getting together to help another family member of mine to purchase his medication. They have also asked me to help out, but truth be told I don't want to. First off I have already given this person large sums of money twice it was not paid back and I did not expect that it would. My wife also took over a large bag of food and some healthy cookbooks over to him and he didn't even even acknowledge it or thank her. Also this person is constantly posting on facebook about all the things he does like going to movies, going to museums, and amusement parks ets. If he has money to do all of those things then he should have money to buy his medication. He needs to get his priorities straight. This medicatin is life or death type medication and he really needs it, but why should I or any one else help pay for it while he is always going out and spending money on fun things? What do you think?
2 people like this
10 responses
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
24 May 12
You have a family of your own to take care of. You and your family work hard for your money and you shouldn't give it to someone that you don't think deserves it. Like you said he needs to get his priorities straight. He shouldn't be spending money on those type of activities when he is asking for help from other people. The only time he should be asking for help is when he is completely broke because he used all of his money to take care of bills and important things.
24 May 12
you guys should tell this person about the wrong things he have done, he have to know and understand which one is his priority, such as not wasting those kind of money when i fact he need those money for medication! some people are like that, they like to waste that kind of money rather than save it or use it for any other things which is more useful for them, that kind of people need you guys for telling him so that he can understand, even sometimes after you tell them they still don't understand..
@adforme (2116)
24 May 12
First of all, something like medication is a necessity for those that require it to be healthy. Sometimes people do not have their priorities straight. I would recommend that you do not contribute to the purchase of the family member's medication. I know that it is life saving medication; but how do you know he's using the money for medication? Several family members are already contributing to the purchase. If you see what happens when you don't, you will probably be better able to see if he can really do without your contribution. Sometimes when you give an inch, people take a mile. Maybe he can save on medication costs by switching to a generic brand. I hope he can afford his medication as soon as he chooses to develop a financial plan, get healthcare, and borrow less.
• United States
24 May 12
I think that the family needs to get together and help him budget. They need to set up a budget for medication, food, bills, rent (or mortgage), money for gas then money for fun. I think it was nice of your wife to help out by bringing him food and healthy cookbooks, however it was rude of your relative not to acknowledge. I do not feel you should have to give money and if anyone asks tell them your struggling and need the money as well.
• Indonesia
24 May 12
i suggest to you just give him a medicine, dont give him money. if you give it in medicine, he will use it as medication.
@dorannmwin (36609)
• United States
24 May 12
If helping this family member out is something that you don't feel like you should do, then I would say considering that you've helped him in the past, you don't have any obligation to do it now. With that said, you also have to think about how you would feel if something was to happen to him because he didn't get his medication. If you would feel awful about that, then I would recommend that you do give him some money toward his medications.
@ladym33 (11009)
• United States
23 May 12
He does sound very immature. He sounds like he does not have any sense of priority and he always counts on everyone else to take care of him. It is a shame that now his life is in danger and he still is not taking it seriously so that everyone around him is feeling guilted in to paying for his medication because they are afraid he is going to die. He sounds very selfish and self absorbed but not about his own health unfortunately.
• United States
23 May 12
I agree with you, that person should be able to shoulder their own responsibilities and stop acting like you all owe him something. You should have a talk with your other family members about these concerns and how you feel that you should stop coddling that person because it is time for a wake up call, especially when you feel the movies is more important than necessary medication.
• United States
23 May 12
I would not want to part with my money to this perosn either. I find so many people do this and post it all over facebook. If you and then don't pa he will be forced t do things the right and proper way. He really needs to get his mess together.
@nikki3 (172)
• United States
23 May 12
Yea, lots of people on facebook tend to do that . I personally think that all of you guys need to have a sit down long talk with this guy and explain to him how you feel. Tell him how you feel about the facebook and all.say: You know if you can post up on facebook about how you went here and there and did this and that and all these things cost then I think that you no longer need our support in paying for your medication. It is true right? Sometimes we do not like to tell people our honest opinion but as they always say honesty is the best policy.