right age to get married

@hestylim (1211)
Indonesia
June 5, 2012 11:51am CST
When do you think is the right age to get married? I am 26 and I see a lot of young couples getting married and have kids. Well, they are a lot younger than me.. It is common things in today's world. But still I feel weird about it. I mean, how can you build a family when you are not capable of supporting yourself financially and mentally..
2 people like this
18 responses
• United States
5 Jun 12
I think the right time to get married is when you meet the right person and you've got your financial ducks in a row. Some people get married without seeming to have either of those things, but I've known quite a few extremely young (19) couples who did and are still happily married. I don't think there's a set age for everyone, it depends on you and your partner.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
There are young couples who prepared to get married and facing life after the marriage but still there are a lot of young people that got married without anything prepared. Most of them even still need their parents to provide for them.. However, it is all depends on each individuals. The way they think, act, and behave.. :)
• United States
6 Jun 12
That is all too true. I wouldn't want to be depending on my parents when I was married, but it's a sad reality these days.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
Yeap! I know couples who still depend on their parents to feed them and feed their children as well. You know it's kinda embarrassing, I mean, when you are ready to get marry, you have to be ready to face all the obstacles and it is including feeding your children..
1 person likes this
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
yes, i agree with you many people when married and did not consider he is able from financial and mentality aspect always make their marriage unhappy ..there are always conflict between of them...sometimes they are not aware when they did not consider marriage is not easy like they are still dating..there are rights and duty when they become a spouse..they had a rights from their spouse but they must fulfill their duty to their spouse..
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
7 Jun 12
hi, yeap, people sometimes get married without thinking whether they are ready for all the things or they don't.. what they know is, they want to get married! :P
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
7 Jun 12
yeah..so had you found the right man hesty?
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
13 Jun 12
Hmmmm,not really.. Have u?
@Chikezie (386)
• Malaysia
5 Jun 12
Marriage has always been step taken by the bold meaning that you have to prepared, emotionally, mentally, psychologically and also financially. It is very good for one to understand the reason for him or her going into marriage so that on the long term, you can look back and not lament on the step that was taken. Getting married has a lot of differences in various part of the world. In Africa, you should be in late twenties and above before you can be seen to be ready for marriage being that you are regarded to be matured enough to handle the storms of marriage. But in western world, the perspective is totally different. Being 26 and not married also has to do with your gender and what feel about getting married irrespective of your financial. Marriage is not to be based on folks or peers getting married but whether you are fully ready as a grown individual. I think personally to get married for males can be from 28 years and above while females from 20 years above.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
Hi Chikezie, Marriage is a big decision you make for your whole life. So, it is better not to look back and regret after you decided to get married. Perspective of getting married in each country is different. :) Thanks for the information you share about marriage in your country. Well, I don't know about the legal married age in my country.. Lol. I saw a lot of younger people get married, have kids but then divorce. But some of them stay happily married. So, now all it comes back to each individual whether they are ready to get married or not..
@Chikezie (386)
• Malaysia
6 Jun 12
Sometimes as individual, we think that we ready but the presences and importance cannot be over-emphasized as they there to guide us and see that we not make mistake in this life long institution. When we look at our peers before we get married, it can be devastating and lead to breaking out. There might be an underlying factor to such people getting married which might be more than what meets the eyes.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
We just can decide and think what is best for us, but we don't know what will happen in the future as well. We want a happy marriage, but somehow, we can't guarantee that it will be a happy marriage as we dream. So, it is better when we decide we are ready to get married, we have to stand and face the storm. No matter how hard and big the storm is
• Philippines
6 Jun 12
If you ask me, the right age to marry would be 25 and above. But this would depend on the stability of a person's job and maturity of mind. If a person is 25 or above but he/she is not mature enough to commit to a married life, raise a family, etc, then, that is not the best time for him/her to settle down. I did not really consider my age when I decided to get married. I thought of settling down when I have finished my college and have a job and most of all if I found the man I truly love. And I did. I finished college, got a job and met the man I love and we decide to get married after a year of being steady. It would also help if you pray a lot for wisdom so that you will be enlightened and guided in your decision.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
Hi Annelisle, If you were married with someone you love and you have a happily marriage life, then it could be said that you and your partner are well prepared when you decided to get married. About the right age of marriage, I agree that it must be above 25. But for men, I think the right age is above 28. Men needs to provide shelters and good financial for his family. Thought there's nothing wrong with women working, but, I just think the home financial problem should be on men. While women are responsible of taking care of children and provide a nice home for the whole family. I always pray to seek guidance, too! Thanks for the suggestion! :)
@Chikezie (386)
• Malaysia
6 Jun 12
Annelisle71, the most catchy thing about your point is the place of prayer. It should be very much applied so that wisdom can be given for one who is considering getting married. Only God can lead one to a direction and He leads and directs, there will be no mistakes or regrets. Good point once again annelisle71
@luvmusic (144)
• Malaysia
6 Jun 12
for me, age is not important. what is important is that the people who wants to get married must be mentally ready and financially stable before they get married. if they are not, all sort of problems will arise in the future. that will lead to disharmony in marriage and finally divorce. i think that is why there are so many people getting divorce nowadays.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
yeah you are right! getting married is one big decision to make and there will be a lot of consequences waiting in front of the door.. people should be ready with all of those before deciding to get married or it will end up in divorce.. :)
@mikyung (2234)
• Philippines
6 Jun 12
Hi hestylim, we can marry when we are ready. The question here is when and how do we know if we are ready. My wife and I started as friends and we decided to move in almost 6 years ago. My wife is already on her late 20s. Though, I admit, we are not yet married yet but we will get there that's for sure. I think, our primary indicator that we are ready is our love for our partner. See, I'm hopelessly devoted to my wife and hoping to be with her for the rest of my life. Financial matters will always be a concern but money can be earned. The ceremony of marriage, per se, does not need to be expensive or extravagant. We are planning for a simple ceremony maybe next year.
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
6 Jun 12
It is a right age to get married when you can support yourself financially and mentally about marriage life...so that it depends on a person who wanna do married. Someone do when they are 18 but someone need more time and ready to get married whrn they are 40...
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
Yes, it depends on the person when they are ready to get married. When someone is ready financially and mentally to get married, then he is considered ready! Thanks for the comment! :)
• United States
6 Jun 12
You are at the right age to get married, but don't rush it and be desperate just because your older than they are, when you find the right person it will happen. Get married when your ready :)
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
Hi Losinger, Yeap! I won't rush. That's what I keep telling myself, too. When the time is right, it will finally happen. So, I don't have to rush and be desperate. I am not into marriage now, I am more to pursuing my dream.. :D Thanks for the comment
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
5 Jun 12
we had this discussion many times before. So I give you exactly the same answer: you are not ready for it since if you were you would not ask this question at all. Many people no matter what age are not capable to support themselves or a family (which are mostly men they leave the women with all the responsibilities) still they are married. If these are things you find important before you get married you should work on that or stay single.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
wow! you are so to the point! :) I myself want my husband to do his responsibilities. While I do my responsibilities as wife, too! what I am talking about are those who still depend on their parents and got married as well. Well, for myself.. I dont know if I am ready or not.. But I think I am more to 'not ready' than 'ready'
• Malaysia
5 Jun 12
Hi hestylim, 26 is good age to get married but if you said that you're not ready financially and mentally may be you are right to hold the idea to get married. And if you think of having children it is good not to wait to long. Lets do the math, say if you get married at the age of 30 and your child is born a year after that you have to have the liking to bring your child outing and not feeling tired and bored to go to the park and when your child starts to talk and asking questions 'why this and that' make sure that you are in the mood always to give answers that could satisfy their mind or else they will keep on asking the same question. I wish you all the best and hopefully your partner can give you all the support financially, mentally and physically when you decided to get married.
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
6 Jun 12
hi acrossnation, thanks for the insight! :) Honestly, I dont know if i am ready to get married. But I always have fantasies about getting married and having a happily married life! haha.. I like kids but still, I dont know if I am ready to answer their "why this why that" questions. lol thanks for the prayers, too!! :) I wish you all the best!
@IAmNena (178)
• Philippines
14 Jun 12
I agree with you,But it depends on how a person is perceived by love, It doesn't matter how old you are and when will you find love.I feel weird for someone who gets married and have kids during there teenage years 0_0
• Marikina, Philippines
13 Jun 12
Any age is fine as long as a person has a stable income and can support the family. Even a 16 year old boy or a girl can marry the one they loved as long as they have money on their own and already knows how to be independent, and of course knows to be a responsible parent, but of course, there is a age requirement of what age do the couple should marry each other according to each country. For me, age does not matter as long as they know what they are doing, independent and have a stable income.
• India
13 Jun 12
hello hestylim i think the right age for marriage should be 25 to 27,thats my own personal opinion.
@dansazz (1059)
• United States
13 Jun 12
There is no right age. You do it when you feel you want to do it. A family is about way more then money. Anyone can build a family as long as they have love to give to it. Yes money is a big part of life, but it's not hard to make some money. Even if its not a lot. You will always find a way to take care of your family. Unless you have people working against you and driving you out of your own childs life, and you are just a teenager and can't do anything about it. But thats probably rare.
• China
6 Jun 12
Marriage is so simple,finding the right one at the right time,marriage need courage and responsibility,donn't care about age,if you think you have the conditions of marriage,ok,get married.
@adee28 (32)
• Philippines
6 Jun 12
I'm 24. I don't know but I can't imagine myself wanting to get married or having kids or building a family. Even when i was just a teenager it came to my mind that when i get to being adult marriage and family is not for me. But that doen't mean im a lesbian or what. Perhaps that's the reason why i didnt have any serious relationship.. i can let go so easily knowing that i wouldnt be the right one for him anyways since my dislike for marriage is much stronger than the desire to be with him forever.
6 Jun 12
It is sad to grow old alone, however, it is up to you. When, the right person comes along then you will know. Sometimes it's just by accident, nobody knows what's going to happen but there is one thing for sure in this world. Everything happens for a reason. So relax and enjoy what life offers you.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
6 Jun 12
I don't think that there is any true right age to get married. when you feel your heart is in love and you want to spend every waking moment wih that person,it should not matter what age you are. Still it is a goo idea to be financially and emotionlly stable when committing the rest of your life to someone and marriage to them.