Always fighting.

United States
June 22, 2012 4:58pm CST
I am so tired of always fighting with my husband. Yes we both have points to our arguments, but in the moment, we don't see them and the fighting continues, and i'm just so tired of it. Does anyone else have problems similar to this? any advice?
5 people like this
14 responses
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
22 Jun 12
Our first 3 years together with my husband, we fought a lot... like A LOT! It even came to breaking up. But, right now that we are 7 years, we don't fight anymore. Sometimes we argue but we just laughed about it after. So, I think when your husband starts to argue, just don't talk back. Just be quiet until he shut up.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jun 12
LOL nice advice.
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
23 Jun 12
This is very good advise. This is also what my mom always tells me. She says that relationships of yester-years last longer because women knew how to shut up. Nowadays, everyone has points and opinions, nobody would like to yield - this is why there are a lot of marriages and relationships that break. One must learn to shut up. It doesn't mean that he won when we shut up, it just means that we can talk about it when our heads are cooler. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jun 12
thank you.
@KrauseHome (33809)
• United States
23 Jun 12
Sorry to hear that you and your husband are always arguing like this. Sometimes I think you just need to find more common ground and talk about that, and see if you can learn to get along better from there. No 2 people will always agree, especially when it comes to money. So the more time you can find doing and talking about things you both enjoy, the better off you'll eventually be. Wishing you the Best.
• United States
23 Jun 12
Have to agree with you on finding the common ground that can be shared, it's a great way to break the cycle of disagreements. It also helps to set aside a designated time period to discuss issues that you know will be distressing and limit the energies expended on "tough topics".
• United States
23 Jun 12
Yes I think that would be a nice thing to do. It is hard though to stop what we are fighting about. And we both never hold anything back.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (33809)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Like I expressed earlier, find common ground that you are both interested in, instead of always fighting about something, or find ways to deal with your problems and issues instead of always fighting. It is not always easy, but if you truly Love each other and learn to talk things and out and find Fun things to do together you will never be able to enjoy yourself as well.
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
23 Jun 12
i think having fights is quite normal in a wife-husband relationship. Feeling tired about it is also normal but you know, if you think of the love that you have shared for each other and the things that you have sacrificed or the challenges you have encountered and blessings that you have got, i think it will somehow make the situation cooler. As long as we still understand each other points during an argument and we still respect each others point of view, then it will be better soon
• United States
23 Jun 12
That's the problem, most of the time we don't see eachother's points.
• Philippines
24 Jun 12
Maybe you need to relax (both of you) before you start talking with each other. Like you cant really understand each other if both of you are talking and shouting at the same time. You can talk calmly and give each other time to speak out opinion and point. After that i hope you can now understand each other. I hope you can keep your cool and smile !!
• United States
24 Jun 12
Yes I know this, it is just harder to do then it is to say.
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
22 Jun 12
I've been married to the same woman for 56 years, and we usually see things the same way. Occasionally we don't quite see eye to eye, but we never argue or fight. It takes two to fight, and because of this, its extremely difficult to blame your mate for fighting!
• United States
23 Jun 12
Yes it does take two to fight, I agree with you there.
• United States
23 Jun 12
Being married that long, you pretty much think alike!!!
• United States
23 Jun 12
You'd prettymuch be one person that long lol
• India
23 Jun 12
Fighting with people is a natural phenomena occuring in our daily life. If we are fighting it means we are nomal, jokes apart, i used to fight with my mom when i was not married. Now siuaion is different. My mother in law always agitates me by passing severe comments but i m helpless as icant fight with her but often i show her my anger by making different faces . Controlling your anger is a great thing but that really needs patience along with intelligence. Its only by practise that you can controll your anger. Also always try to cooperate with everyone as far as possible because that really gives us positive mindset.try to meditate daily, listen to soft and divine music, read religious books, talk to people who motivate you, engage yourself in some other activities, watch comedy serials, do gardening etc. try any of these methods that suits you the most and goodluck.
• United States
23 Jun 12
Well this sounds to me like you are bottling things up. We don't do that because we dont want to snap one day. We get everything in the open and talk about it. It causes fights a lot of the times too. I don't believe in bottling things up, if you have an opinion, then say it.
@Bhebelen14 (4561)
• Philippines
23 Jun 12
Before my husband and I always fighting maybe because of different point of views in life and different way of thinking. But after years goes by we both learned how to accept and deal to each attitude, thinking and point of views in life. Of course fighting or arguments are part of relationship but when he is not in the mood I try to give him little space and wait until he is ready to talk to me.
• United States
23 Jun 12
Yes, we both need to learn how to give some space, and cool down before we talk. It could save a lot of fighting time and effort.
@alutka (211)
23 Jun 12
at first marriage when there are arguments, all say that people are pouring in, but after several years it may be fatigue, boredom, maybe every one of you wants to make some new rules to zmienilo.Moze something is better not to discuss, not to argue August and start acting?
• United States
23 Jun 12
We don't keep things from eachother it is unhealthy. I'm not sure what you mean acting. I am not going to pretend. I want a real marriage not an act.
@GemmaR (8527)
23 Jun 12
If you're fighting this much, then you have to take the time to think about whether you are actually right for each other or not. If you think that you are, then you should talk about why you argue so much, and then try to think about the things that you could do to solve some of the things that you often argue about. There are probably common themes that take over during an argument, and you might find that you would argue less if you just took the time to think these things through and sort them out rather than just shouting about them.
• United States
23 Jun 12
Yes well, we have tried to talk about why we argue so much and it turns into another argument. So there is no sorting things out peacefully. Not everyone can do things the same way. Some people have methods to their madness.
@cttolledo (3139)
• Batangas, Philippines
23 Jun 12
What is the reason why you keep o fighting..? it must be serious... Anyway whatever it is, i think you should know the do's and dont's of your partner.. from that i think you will be able to adjust or plan yourself where to stand to avoid conflicts.. Nobody's is the same... even twins have its own differences... so, i think it is normal for a couple to have differences and have conflicts from time to time... but it is not healthy anymore if you are fighting everyday.. Know each others well and try to meet halfway...
• United States
23 Jun 12
There are a lot of things we fight about. We have been trying to meet eachother half way, because that seems like the only solution to the problem.
• India
23 Jun 12
Quarrels and fights are very common in life. Life will be much bored if we have smile us on all the time. So it is very important to have life like a mixture with sadness, quarrels, happiness and all others. So keep fighting and enjoy the taste of it but make sure that you don't have them a lot, which can hurt others.
• United States
23 Jun 12
Yes I know they are very common in life, doesn't mean that I will enjoy them at all. I hate fighting.
@kaka135 (13592)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 12
I seldom argue with my husband now, because every time after the arguments, I really found there's no point fighting over any issues, but it made me feel sad for the arguing. Nowadays, even though I do not agree with my husband, I might just keep quiet first, then talk to him later about it. I'll not talk about it when he is not in a good mood to talk. Sometimes, I might even write to him, about what my thoughts are and what is it that I don't really agree with him. Sometimes, if I am really quite angry, I'll just walk away, calm down myself first.
• United States
22 Jun 12
Yes we need to learn to calm down first also, but it doesn't work out that way.
@Shazooo (296)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 12
I remember asking my mother when i was younger how she manage to still have a marriage when there seem to be more and more divorces...and why is it that my parents rarely fought with each other? This was my mums answer: marriages is more than just loving each other...it is also about understanding each other. For example,Maybe you could be fighting over what to with the cash you guys just won on a lucky draw, so if you understand each other well, you would allow your husband to do whatever it is he want with it but not before you let him know clearly what you wanted to do with it and that you are allowing him to do what he wants and hope that he would allow you to do the same when you ever come to this situation again.
• United States
22 Jun 12
Prettymuch just saying to listen to eachother.
• United States
22 Jun 12
I know the feeling because I lived it long time ago with my ex husband. I got rid of him as soon as i could. I fight with my daughter alot. but,this past week she has only come in and gone back out so it is like heavon here again. she lives with her man some where. I don't even want to know where. I would hate to get tempted to visit her. that loser will never tell me I can't come in my daughters home.
• United States
22 Jun 12
It's up to your daughter not him.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
22 Jun 12
If you have just married, then you can be undergoing that period of adjustment. You are still trying to really know each other. Pretty soon, hopefully, you both will learn to adjust and make room for each others' differences. But if you'd been married for 10 years and you're still fighting big-time, then by all means, get a divorce.
• United States
22 Jun 12
lol yah after ten years that would be nuts.