"Relationship is not an Account"

@prashu228 (6082)
India
August 17, 2012 3:09pm CST
hello friends, Recently one of my close friends brother got married. We all were invited, we had a blast. It was not at all a forced marriage. The boy was happy, we all felt the girl was happy too, we met her before marriage. we didn't realize that some,crooked thoughts were going on in her brain. The boy (my friends brother, the groom) is a very sweet person, very soft spoken too. The girl whom we thought to be very polite, right after one day of her marriage , told the boy ,that she love another person , and she cant continue her marriage with him ( my brothers friend). she just left , as her lover was waiting for her. "Now a days people are just taking relationship very easily . Relationship is not an account where we can log in and log out when ever we want." Foolish girl, she is very happy , but what did the innocent boy do? what was his fault? friends what are your views. please share your ideas.
5 people like this
16 responses
@ravisivan (13733)
• India
17 Aug 12
such incidents are happening more prashu. So I suggest you also to talk to the girl first before deciding about your marriage. It is not necessary you should spend more time and more days. Just go and sit with her in a coffee shop or in the terrace of the house and discuss frankly. If that boy had a frank talk with her before marriage this problem would not have happened. Now that girl will also be not happy spoiling life of another boy also. Let this boy get divroced and marry again.
2 people like this
@umabharti (3978)
• India
24 Aug 12
hi this is India and here still girls are not allowed to talk to the person before marriage and still we are facing such and such problems,some forget and try to adopt the new things of life and some cant,so they try to get away from that relation which has no meaning. It is not that easy of remarriage because no girl would like to marry a person who is already married and it is not that easy for divorce , she might had not known things which are practical on this world she is going with heart
@ravisivan (13733)
• India
24 Aug 12
Umabharti: Such conservative families do exist nowadays also -- yes. North Indian marwari families -- they do not allow boy and girl talking freely--exceptions are there. In south India things are changing boy and girl do meet before marriage separately -- are permitted to talk --i feel it is necessary for them to understand each other before marriage. Boy or girl should not hesitate to ask about the likes, dislikes, preferences, habits of the other person clearly before marriage.
@tetris15 (541)
• Philippines
17 Aug 12
It must have been very hard for your brother's friend to be left alone just like that. I was wondering why in the world did the girl get married in the first place if she will just abandon her groom to be with some guy the next day. If she hadn't love her groom at all, she shouldn't had gone with the marriage at all. Anyway, I'm not in the position to judge or anything but only the two of them knows what transpired after the ceremony.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (6082)
• India
17 Aug 12
the reason , what we came to know was, the girl thought, her parents will not allow her, to marry outside her religion ( the girl is Muslim and her lover is a Hindu). so she thought of this plan , she is not right in anyway. if that was the case she would have fought with her parents itself, or went away with her lover itself , before marriage, but what she did is really brainless.
2 people like this
@ravisivan (13733)
• India
17 Aug 12
I am surprised to hear such reports about muslim girl also. yes. they are also no exception. The girl could have straightaway told the boy and boy would have agreed not to marry her. but she used this boy as a tool for her running away with that hindu boy. nowadays hindu boys also--- bad -prashu--they go and take girls from other castes, religions like this creating like this. another boy known to me also-hindu boy --got married to muslim girl --did not tell us for 9 months. we came to know of it through other sources. We were not suspecting him to get married this way. that is life. Opportunities are more. girl and boy stay together for longer time than the time they spend in the home with parents. they can be easily influenced.
2 people like this
@prashu228 (6082)
• India
24 Aug 12
hello sir, such reports are many more now a days, when all these happens, the parents start blaming , the whole other religion or the whole ,language speaking speaking people, which is not correct at all, what did the other people do? good and bad is there in every religion and every language speaking people, one of my friends cousin (they are Nepalis) went away with a Telugu speaking boy,and got married too, the parents came to know about this only after few months, and the worst is, they got separated after few months, due to some differences, now the parents started blaming the whole Telugu speaking people, which is not right, the fault is in the boy and the girl not in the language or religion, but they don't realize this..poor people..
@myklops (180)
17 Aug 12
It's a hard situation for the boy as he has expected to be loved. Of course they are married that's why. In addition, the boy probably gave his best for his wife, but did not get the love in return.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (6082)
• India
17 Aug 12
yes indeed, he is very soft person, he loved the girl very much, but still, the girl didn't deserve it.
2 people like this
@ravisivan (13733)
• India
17 Aug 12
myklops welcome to mylot. the boy must have talked fully with the girl before marriage. in muslim marriages probably boy and girl are not permitted to meet freely before marriage--in some families. this tradition is changing for good.
1 person likes this
@drow1212 (169)
• United States
23 Aug 12
hello, i wish i knew the answer to that too prashu
1 person likes this
@caopaopao (1044)
• China
18 Aug 12
I can't imagine that thing can happen. I feel bad for your friend. I just can't figure it out what the girl was thinking. Even a day's marriage means she will be a remarried woman, she doesn't mind that? She really treated marriage as a game. I hate that kind of girls or boys, fortunately, most young people are not like her.
@caopaopao (1044)
• China
18 Aug 12
No matter what happened to the girl, she shouldn't do harm to the other innocent person.
@Hatley (130226)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Aug 12
hi prashu oh my what an awful young lady to marry your brothers close friend then on that day to tell him she loves another person. how mean. the marriage can be annulled of course and I hope this friend this boy finds a wonderful woman who will love him for his wonderful sweet self That young lady has serious problems as she should have been forth coming and told him she could not marry him,. what a cruel thing to do to the poor boy. It was up to her to b e honest with the young m and and tell him before the marriage she' could not go through with it. you are so right, marriage is not an account.those stand for what I feel about that wicked young woman,.
@prashu228 (6082)
• India
24 Aug 12
yes, indeed, the girl should have told everything to the boy before marriage, may be she would have thought, the boy is soft spoken , and she can leave him easily, and ran away, she is just too cruel, she smashed all the dreams if the boy.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
24 Aug 12
She sound like a celebrity couple ,,, Most celebrity just get married for no real reason in my opinion . Why did she wait until she was married to tell him she is in love with another . She must really hate him to let he go through all that before dumping him !!
@nupur123 (392)
• Hyderabad, India
24 Aug 12
Very true as i am also in various type of relationships and it is very difficult to handle very relationship as each relationship has its own demand and if we r unable to fill its requirement the it can be loosen. We need to be very careful and need to take care of it with luv and patience .So in order to keep ur relationship u need to handke it with very care.
@kalav56 (11505)
• India
24 Aug 12
What a horrible cowardly girl! Could she not have told him earlier and gone away with her lover?Really bad.
@Fulltank (2896)
• Philippines
18 Aug 12
I taught this kind of indecent are just happening in books, movies and TV drama. I just don't know how a girl got married and leave his husband the next day. That would be a bizarre event if I can witnessed it in my own life. Well, the must have had her reason for marrying your brother and yet leave him alone. But I don't think that she loved someone else. You guys would have known it.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Aug 12
hi, what if the girl is going to ditch the other person as well and come back to this boy? If it was an arranged marriage, the parents would have done their homework. Such incidents are becoming common but the boy should completly move out of this marriage in a legal manner to avoid any future concerns.
@else22 (4320)
• India
18 Aug 12
I am really very sorry for your friend.It may not have been a forced marriage for the boy,but certainly it was a forced marriage for the girl.If the girl had an affair with another boy,she must have told it to her parents and the parents must have opposed her choice.Of course,your friend was not aware of her affair.The blame,therefore,goes to the girl's parents.I am sure the girl was forced to accept your friend as her husband.Your friend became the victim of this clash.I can understand how the boy must have been feeling.
• India
18 Aug 12
You are right. Even the same thing was about to happy with my cousin. That girl was my neighbour, she is a brahmin girl and finally she eloped with a christian guy, before we were going to engage her with my cousin. Thank God, my cousin escaped. Now my cousin is married and he is living happily.
@yugasini (12762)
• Anantapur, India
18 Aug 12
hi prashu, some time this type of things happens to our friends, or their relations or in their community, before marriage there may be some affairs to the boy or girl, what ever they have made before for innocence or for lust, they should forget them and happy with married person, arranged marriages by the parents have some support from the relations,if not no support will come to them and they have to lead their own life,either it may be good or bad,have a nice day.
@alberello (4758)
• Italy
17 Aug 12
Well, very long discussion, at least for me, I would say not very easy to understand fully. Then we talk, as I understand it, a marriage that lasted only a few days since she had confessed shortly after to love another person. Ok the last words I understood perfectly, that foolish girl! Marriage is one of the sacraments of the church, therefore, should not be taken as a joke. But what's going on in this society? Let's just log in and out depending on whether it is worthwhile! I do not agree!
@Raine38 (8655)
• United States
17 Aug 12
That's so terrible, but it was kinda hard to actually tell what had gone wrong for her to walk out on her groom just like that. It could be something that the groom did, or didn't do. Or it could even be that the girl was never in love with him in the first place and just decided to go through it all when she met someone else. What she did was wrong and could have been prevented if she's just being honest. She didn't lie to the groom only; she also lied to herself by hiding the truth. I wonder if the new guy knows about her upcoming wedding. It's a sneaky move on his part to get into a relationship with someone who's already committed. I hope your friend's brother recovers soon and find his happiness.