Not meant to be together!

By Toni
@toniganzon (48524)
Philippines
September 14, 2012 8:10pm CST
Some people are meant to fall in love but not meant to be together. It's really sad but it's true. When I was young, I was very idealistic. I believed that there was no reason why people who are in love with each other can't just be together. I used to think that I would do everything and just everything to be with the person that I love. As I grow older, I realized, there are things that are just not meant to be. Love is not everything in a relationship. There are so many things to be considered. Are you idealistic when it comes to love or have you learned to be a realist?
2 people like this
24 responses
@SIMPLYD (78094)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Since me and my husband has already been married for 22 years, i learned to be a realist, Toni. I guess, all couples who have been together for so long are that already. With problems that has been hurdled and dealt with, the couple learns how to be practical in life, though the love will always be there.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
That is so true D. To make the marriage work though you must admit there's more than just love to consider. We can't live harmoniously on love alone. When we got married, during the first few years we must adjust and get to know our spouse. That's the most difficult part. We must be lucky to have survived that, or we just know how to compromise.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (78094)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
Compromise, that the right word Toni. Besides, through the years we have already known what are the things to avoid in order not to have a misunderstanding with our hubbies.
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
We have matured in our relationship. Finally.
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Unfortunately, this is the reality when it comes to love. You gave it all, tell it all and do it all. but if your not meant to be, then you have to let it go. some men and women are so attached to their spouses that any of these break ups and divorces forces them to be not rational and i cant blame them, they have moments and you can't just forget about that. Love is not easy specially to those who have experienced being heart broken, afraid to open up again.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
My friend had his heart broken 8 years ago. He's 41 now and still single. He told me he's pretty sure he'll never get married. It's so sad that he's still in love with his ex and couldn't seem to get over her when he knew exactly he could never have her back.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Haven't had any kind of relationship that lasted long but knowing how hard and expensive having relationships can be, maybe i don't want to get married too
1 person likes this
@ifa225 (11099)
• Indonesia
15 Sep 12
ehmm...since i have grown and see many bad things in life I learned to be realistic I know that many factors in life required to have such a perfect love and only few people who have lucky in their life can be together with her/his love one
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
Like you, I have faced a lot of bad things in life. Even worse. That's how i came to accept the realities in life.
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
15 Sep 12
Life is like that! You are right, sometimes we are not meant for each other as what we thought. There are other elements in life too. However, I still think that we should treasure that we have experience the best kind of love, where we truly love each other, the ideal love! I always admired those who really ended up with each other as husband and wife, being parents to their wonderful children, they are truly blessed!
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
Of course we should treasure good memories. After all that's all we have left with that person who wasn't meant for us. But there are cases when people fall for each other but can't be together because they are both committed to others. That one is a really difficult thing to handle.
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
15 Sep 12
Well, usually when we are young, we tend to be very idealistic. We always think the best, etc.. Then we come to discover, in mature age, that the ideal, does not really exist (I could make in this regard, an infinite number of examples). So we have to remain realistic, or see how things really are and not as we would like them to be. I can not talk to you if this happens also in love, as I have never yet been involved in a romantic relationship. Then you know, I'm gay. But this is another matter entirely.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
Experiences that we had when we were young are what makes us see the truth and reality of life.
@rohanmona (160)
• India
15 Sep 12
Well i was an idealistic but then i realized it is just a waste of time. it would be more better if i would forget her coz it is only pain i get in return, so i am now a realistic person. i believe in only that possibility that is practical or else now i leave them...
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
Sometimes we need to face reality so we could go on with life.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
15 Sep 12
As the saying goes 'love is blind' ....and only get their eyesight back once they get married. People usually fall apart once the honeymoon is over as their true colours finally show out much to their disappointment when they realized their incompatibility. Love give no guarantee that two people can live in harmony.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
Lovers are blind! Most young couple believe they could survive life with just love alone. Thus, when reality strikes, they find it hard to survive and they crumble.
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6430)
• India
15 Sep 12
yes not all lovers end up together. there are circumstances that restrict them to be together and they not meant to be together. i also used to think like you but yes as I grew older I came to realize the truth. I have not been through this though. I have married whom i had loved and i had to come so far for him. I am from FIJI and I am now in INDIA because he is from GOA. I have no one here of my own otherwise and I think I have did what ever to be with my love. I wish it was possible with others but as you said, some are not meant to be together. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
I have married the first man that i loved. We're still together though, but I realized that we were able to survive this marriage because we made compromises in life.
1 person likes this
@shylade (3137)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
You are right. I always believe that if not meant to be, no matter how you tried, it will never meant to be. I am realistic with love and everything. I guess when you are younger you are idealistic but when you mature and grow a little old, things will change and even your perspective. That we are in real world and not in ideal world.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
As we grow older, lives get more complicated. That's how we become a realist from being an idealist.
1 person likes this
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
15 Sep 12
Love is everything to have a good relation ship because all the other elements come with it such as respect , kindness , trust etc . If a relationship does not have those its not love its just infatuation so that way its not meant to be. I think that is my realistic view on love. True love only comes around once so if its not meant to be I dont know what is .
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
With love comes responsibility. When you get married and have kids, you will realize it's more than just that to survive. You need more than just love. You may lose respect due to some problems and you will later on realise that you are losing love. That's reality.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164759)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Sep 12
toniganzon I was married for 33 year and yes we loved each other but also we trusted each other and res pected each other wihout th o se two things love alone will not wo rk. bu t you sound so cold with this reality thing. I feel modern people enter into marriage with t he idea that the first little irritation is it ahd they divorce just like its as normal as eating a piece of pie,if you do not have respect and tru st first with marriage then having kids w ell just help to break it apart.. I would never have married a man whom I did not trust and respect they c ome first.
• United States
16 Sep 12
I know love comes with a responsibility like all good things in life . What we should remember that love is kind , forgiving, caring also comes with respect and trust . If those are not there its not love and it will break apart . If you really love the person they will grow on you and you will see things also through their eyes . Love dont take away your normal trait it reinforce them by 2 . Eg, a mother Lion get more aggressive to protect her children because she love them , it give us more determination and drive to be a better provider and all that because that also her responsibility but its worth it . Hately I agree with you about a lot of people now enter into marriage to have that big day but if they get irritated they are out the door immediately. Toniganzon good post by the way , its a nice debatable discussion
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
I think we get to the point of realizing that when a relationship ends, you reality hits you that you and your ex weren't meant to be. Some just met for a reason but could never be together forever.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
It's also possible that you're already married then met someone you fell in love with but you can never be together because you have already committed yourself to another. Sad, but that's the truth.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
That is very true! And that really hurts the most!
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
i am idealistic when it comes to love too that i do get disappointed because of it.. but i am trying my best to become a realist now...as there are certainly things that you have to be practical about and that sometimes two people cannot just be together just because of love.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
That's the reality of life. Learned that a long time ago. Love alone isn't always a bed of roses. Roses come with thorns. We just have to learn how to get through those thorns.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 12
But isn't it worth it to get through those thorn with the one you love at your side? I would rather not marry if I dont love the person.
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
I used to be idealistic when I was way younger but after what I had experienced in my life, I have grown to accept the fact that none is permanent in this world. Change is the only constant thing. Not all relationships are meant to last, most of them will just be your teacher- for you to learn things. But I would like to believe that all of us has our own match. We all just have to wait and see.
1 person likes this
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
15 Sep 12
I totally agree with you: Not all relationships are meant to last, most of them will just be your teacher- for you to learn things... i am waiting my right man coming...
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
Patience is a virtue. But some people are meant to grow old alone.
@oyomesan (115)
• Netherlands
16 Sep 12
There are indeed many factors to consider in a relationship. A relationship can not exist of just love alone. There have to be other connections. But if you both really love each other and you both believe the two of you are meant to be together, I think it's possible to make it work.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
Like you said there are other factors to consider. If both are married already with other people but they fell in love for each other, they just can't end their marriage and give it up easily.
@soraya452 (127)
15 Sep 12
Sadly I have to say that I'm more of a realist, because in real life is hard and complicated most of the time. However I do believe that if you love someone you shouldn't be prepared to give up easily. I had to learn this from experience, and yes it was very hard but it was worth it in the end.
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
If you're meant to be with some, you will always end up with that person even if you don't try hard. And there are situation that you don't even have to do anything at all, because doing so would only destroy your life. Take the situation of two people who fell in love with each other but are already committed with others, bonded by marriage? In that case, you need to let go of that.
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
15 Sep 12
At least you figured it out. Some people spend the rest of their lives miserable, trying to reach the magical ideal world. The sooner you learn that life is tough, and things are not always going to work, the faster you can find what things do work, and end up better off.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
True. My past experiences in life when I was young has moulded me into a person who takes life's real situation.
@Hatley (164759)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Sep 12
hi toniganzon lost all my response. I think love takes respect'and trust to work in a marriage and a willingness to commitment and to some compromise. moderns are too quick to give up on silly things and we married people back a few years did not give up as we loved and respected and trusted each other.moderns do not commit they seldom respect and almost never trust either so what are they doing trying to marry or even shack up well they call living together now.
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
It's sad that the modern world has somehow affected young people to believe that marriage is just a piece of paper they could sign and just tear up when the relationship won't work.
• China
15 Sep 12
I should say it's already very lucky for you that found the right one who can fall in love each other. There are still lot people whose love has no response. I have a boyfriend now, I like him, but I still feel it has distince to love. Anyway, I believe there will produce large power when people love each other. If there is anything can fall apart them, maybe because their love is not deeper enough.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
Love is always deep. If it's shallow, then it must not have been love.
@natliegleb (5186)
• India
15 Sep 12
its quite sad but that is what happens at times and we ought to brace it with care and hope the realistic factor comes in
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
It really is sad, especially if the person you fell in love with could never be yours because he already belongs to someone else.
@Shavkat (56312)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
We are something like in common. When I was young, the idea of being idealistic was been practiced. Now, love is not meant to be.
@toniganzon (48524)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
When we were young we are always full of hope and inspiration. But as we age, life gets more complicated and we see life as it is and not just a dream.
1 person likes this