When you were a child, did your parents have lots of friends.....

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
October 12, 2012 7:53am CST
...or were your parents mostly just your parents? I know that sounds weird but I remember having a conversation with my mom about it when I was probably 12 or 13. Usually it takes until we grow up to remember that our parents had lives as REAL PEOPLE before they had us, but the thought occurred to me because I realized my mom was busy all the time but she didn't spend a lot of time with other adults for 'play purposes'. Same thing with my dad! Sure, they had a few friends from the church we attended, and my mom was always a great host to the crowds of kids who came over and their parents, but I didn't remember her hanging out with any of them OUTSIDE of kid activities like sports, school functions, sleepovers, birthdays, etc. I am conflicted about this now, wondering if some people as parents, especially parents of older kids like preteens and teenagers stop making or nurturing current friendships because they have no time or just don't have the motivation or effort to give. My MOM even told me when I was young - while I was still single but over 19 - how important it is to keep and make new friends, to nurture your relationships, not to forget 'your girls' - meaning your sisters/siblings, longtime friends you grew up with, and current close friends you make, and to continue to date your spouse even if you've been married for 30 years lol. I know that I really make an effort to keep friendships a priority, I DO spend time with a lot of my daughter's friends' parents - OUTSIDE of kid related things. I DID meet most of them as a result of finding playmates for her but it opened up also into 'playmates for mom' as well. I sincerely hope when my daughter enters her 'my parents don't know anything and were they ever people before they were my parents' phase (maybe I'll be lucky and she won't) that she notices the truth and applies it to her own life when she becomes a parent someday
2 people like this
6 responses
@GemmaR (8526)
12 Oct 12
I remember my parents having quite a lot of friends when I was younger, and most of them had children who were my age as well. We would all socialise together and have lots of days out in the summer holiday. We would go to places like bowling or to the shops and we liked it because it meant that we always had people who we could spend time with. My parents lost contact with them quite soon after I left school though because there was no need to help me make friends anymore so their purpose of talking didn't particularly exist anymore.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
13 Oct 12
Do you ever wonder about why? I know it can be a lot of extra effort but it is so worth it. You don't have to be sick to get better, or be better, life should be a constant evolving chance to make things as good as you can. I am extremely grateful for some of the things that have helped me make friends, community events, community centers, friends of friends, my local gym, schools, my running groups and people I meet at local races and events, but it also comes down to the fact that I love meeting people, and I try to make the most of every opportunity. We all know you might meet 10 new people and you won't hit it off super with ALL of them, but you might hit it off with at least one or two, and have some really good friends for a long time. Recently, more of the people I meet are MY FRIENDS first and they just happen to have kids around the same age as my daughter, and they get along well. It's nice when it works out that way.
@allknowing (69298)
• India
12 Oct 12
My mother spent most of her time taking care of home and hearth. She did not have any friends but seemed quite contented with her lot.
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@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
13 Oct 12
How do people have no friends? Maybe I just don't get it because I'm a social creature. I didn't actually worry about making friends for awhile because I was busy with kids the first 2 years but at that point it became necessary because I needed social outlets for my toddler. My older kids (instant kids, I'm also a step parent) already had a network of friends because they didn't move across the country like I did. I didn't really feel compelled to make friends with all of their friends' parents but it's totally different when kids are almost two vs being 16. Most parents spend time taking care of kids and home and such, but if they are wise, they also don't forget to take care of themselves. I think it would be very sad and lonely to continue to have no friends, no social outlets or ways to network and build a support system, no hobbies, and no goals.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
13 Oct 12
Both my parents worked at home so they were always with us from birth to that time when we're all grown up. My mother was a very amiable and friendly woman and she had customers coming to the house to have their clothes sewn by her since RTW's became popular only later. So we practically had people coming to the house for her services, but it's for livelihood and not for fun. Now I am starting to miss her as she had joined the Maker some ten years ago.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
13 Oct 12
I think we all will miss our parents when they're gone - unless they were bad parents and overall not good people either. Did your mom ever make friends with these people and see them outside of 'service' purposes?
@cupkitties (7441)
• United States
13 Oct 12
Not a lot, Just a small hand full. My step mom had three that I remember. Before it was only our dad that had a job so they would come to our house to visit or we would all go to theirs . Dad didn't hang out with anyone. He had work friends and that was it. We only actually met one that I remember because his wife invited us for supper. He just believes that his family is more important than other people and could be also because he was done wrong by too many "friends" in the past. My step mom is still in contact with her three gal pals, but not as often because she is also working now.
1 person likes this
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
12 Oct 12
My mother spend a lot of time taking acre of us and always their when we need her . She do spend sometime with her friends maybe on certain day in the month and they call each other but she work also so its not easy . I feel some parents have it hard keeping up with their social life . Thats is why we have to love them so much because the sacrifice so much to make sure we are taken care of .
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@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
14 Oct 12
When I was growing up, I have to say that the majority of the friends that my mother had were friends that she had met through my siblings or myself. However, all of the time that they spent together was not through doing things with us. One of her best friends was my best friend in elementary school's mother and they would have regular coffee dates after we were dropped off at school in the mornings. Then she met another friend of hers when my brother was in kindergarten. To this day, twenty-five years later, she does still maintain those relationships. However, she also has new friends now that she has met through work as well.