Having more patience with those we love than of others
By Paper_Doll
@Paper_Doll (2373)
Philippines
November 7, 2012 7:24pm CST
Generally, we have more patience with our family and those we love than of other people around us. I only realized about this last night after I had to sweep those fallen leaves from our neighbor's tree. My husband was so annoyed when we arrived and saw those fallen leaves again in front of his shop. He has been sweeping them twice a day for few days already. I told him not to stressed himself because of those leaves and so I volunteered that I'll do the sweeping. But normally, my husband is very patient. He can even take care of a 2 year old brat without having any problems. His sister is such a nagger but he is always calm in dealing with her. We do have a fight once in a while and I really admire his patience. But when it comes to other people, it is not the same.
I think that we have more patience with those we love simply because we love and respect them. Why can't we just apply the same with all the people around us? Have you noticed that you are less patient to others? Kindly share your thoughts about this. Thank you.
4 people like this
12 responses
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Yes, Actually that is true. we are more patient and tolerant of those we love, those we are very close with than those we are only acquainted to. I think many would notice that in themselves too that somehow we tend to side with those whom we love, our friends and family than those we barely know.
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Thanks chiyosan. Most of the times, we really choose the side of those we love, no matter if they are the wrong and right. Not necessarily because we want to tolerate their wrong doings (if there is), but to show them our support and love for them. That no matter what happened, we're here for them. But of course, there are still limitations. There are boundaries as to when and how far we can support them. But as to show them our love, I don't that there is not.
@babyeve (1048)
• Seychelles
8 Nov 12
My case is the other way round. I generally have less patience with family members than other people around me. I have more respect for other people around me because I do not want them to think bad of me or end up hurting them. Maybe because family members are close to me and I expect them to have the same ways of doing things like me.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Hi baby, yes there's always an exception. My mom is like you. She is patient and kind but she is extra patient and kind in dealing with other people. Most of the times, we would tease her and told her she can run for politics with the kind of attitude she has. She is very charitable. She would always volunteer to take care a sick neighbor or would volunteer to help in cooking if there are big celebrations in our area. But actually, my father is not so happy about it. He would complain especially if he will come home and my mom is not around. We're already grown up but he really does not want that my mom is taking other people when there's no one taking care of us at home.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Yes, she was even awarded for being a Model Mom and was given a token of appreciation in the past.
@buenavida (9985)
• Sweden
8 Nov 12
Yes, we tend to be a lot more patient to those we love. We really need to do extra effort to have patience for everyone, even those we don't like.
We need God's help to love - even our enemies. So we can pray to get his spirit and when we get it, we will be able to love those we wouldn't love otherwise.
[i]"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."[/i]Galatians 5 (King James Version)
The Greek word that Paul used for "love" here is agápe. It is a love built on principles and not only on feelings. This kind of love is possible to have to all kinds of people. It is not philía, which means frindship or storgé which is the family love.
We need to feed our minds with the Word of God so that we can work on these qualities every day and especially pray for those that we have problems with. Reading about good examples of faithful persons in the Bible, we can manage to follow their example..
@buenavida (9985)
• Sweden
9 Nov 12
Great! Let us keep reading the Bible and meditating on what we read.
Here is wonderful scripture we can meditate on
[i]"4 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."[/i]Philippians 4 (New Living Translation)
Let us keep reading the Bible and meditating on what we read.
Here is wonderful scripture we can meditate on
[i]"4 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."[/i]Philippians 4 (New Living Translation)@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Thank you buen, you are so right. This is actually what I always do but it really takes a lot of maturity especially in loving our own enemies. I actually do not treat people who hurted me as enemies but I usually try my very best to forget them and totally erase them in my life. Sometimes, I include them in my prayers. When? It is when I am already losing my patience and feels like I am going to explode. Loving all the people around us is possible, I believe in that. Yes, studying the bible is really helpful. It will not happen in instant, but it is possible.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
8 Nov 12
Hi!
Yes, you appear right to an extent that there are many who have more patience when they deal with their near and dear ones and for strangers they get impatient.
I for one try to be patient with everyone I come across in my day to day life. I do not lose my temper, till am provoked badly. My intention is not to hurt anybody unnecessarily.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
9 Nov 12
It is so true that once we have said something, it is difficult to take back our words.
It is said - "till we speak, words are our slave, once we have spoken something, we are slaves of our words".
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Thanks dpk, I have the same stand. I do treat my family specially but I still treat other people in a manner that even though they aren't my family, they wouldn't feel that they are other people. I still respect them and like you said, I don't easily lose my temper until I am provoked badly. Actually, I've been provoked badly so many times and I still managed to keep my mouth shut. You know it is really hard to take back your words once you have said them. I do avoid because our words can really hurt so much.
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
8 Nov 12
For me personally it depends on which family member you are talking about.. There is one in particular I have no time or patience for.. As far as the rest of my family I have lot of patience for..
Now is my patience different from my family and my friends or even my neighbors?? Well yes for the most part I have a lot more patience.. Now for that one family member I think I have more patience for a stranger that just about ran me off the road then that person..
I am finding that the older I get the more patience and tolerance I have to most things..
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
9 Nov 12
Hi thank for sharing. Yes, most of us have limitations. We come to a point that we feel that we've already done our part and gave our best for this person and yet, he won't change. Even though they are a family member or not, we do find ourselves tired of this person and feel that we can no longer tolerate his behavior. That is understandable as there are really people who won't really care for those people who love and care for them.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
9 Nov 12
I honestly don't think that I've ever heard truer words spoken. I know that for me I have the patience of Job when it comes to my children, my nieces and even my spouse. However when it comes to people that I don't have any kind of a relationship with, I really don't have much patience at all.
This is something that is especially true for me when I am at the store. I absolutely hate having to wait in line to check out when I'm at the store, it drives me nuts.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
16 Nov 12
Thanks for sharing dorannmwin. What you have stated above is true and I am the same. I think it is because we love our families and relatives so we value them. I have to admit that I have also short patience to those people I do not really know. I hate lines as well and once, made a wrong behavior in the subway after my ticket failed. I raised my voice to one of the staff and throw my ticket unto him after he told me that they still need about a month to process a report before giving me another ticket. I mean should I really have to wait that long when I payed for that ticket in instant? Ironic because a relative of mine borrowed money from me years ago and I have never really acted in the same manner.
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
8 Nov 12
I takes patience to learn to be patient. It is an ongoing battle and it takes a lot of effort. Thinking of how patient God is with us may continue to feed our desire to not give up in improving the way we feel and deal with everyone, whether someone we love or someone we need to learn to love. 
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Thank you, I totally agree. Our love for God would really help us to follow his ways, and love all the people around us. It may not happen overnight but if we will continue to be His follower, this is definitely possible. We should continue to seek what God really require of us. He knows what is best for us.
@Youreyes4Today (2356)
• United States
8 Nov 12
Ever think that those outbursts towards others is away of relieving the stress one feels from family matters that one can't react to because it is family?
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
There really are times that this thing happens. If one is so much stressed and having so much problem with his family but cannot really tell or say how he feels, some people do turn to other people to release their anger. There are times that we will be just surprise why one of our colleague would raise her voice at us early in the morning when we have never really done something wrong. But in my opinion, this is not right. We should always know our boundaries. If this already affects our relationship with other people, we should talk to our family or loved ones if we have some issues with them.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
8 Nov 12
Sometimes it can be more difficult to hold onto patiencve wih those we love because thwey know just wht button to [push as we we well know too.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
We care a lot about the people who are close to us. And the least thing we would want to do is to make them feel bad, upset or uncomfortable so extreme tolerance is really needed!
Unlike in dealing with other people, if we are mad or irritated about something, we find ways of letting the person know about it and do something about it.
Unlike in dealing with other people, if we are mad or irritated about something, we find ways of letting the person know about it and do something about it.@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Yes, that is how exactly what I have noticed with many people around me. Sometimes, I was wondering if they are already unfair especially if you see that they don't treat all people the same way. Not only with being patient, but with being compassionate. Is it really possible that you care so much for a child that is related to you and would not really care about other kids wandering on the streets? I am really confused about that.
@prashu228 (37526)
• India
8 Nov 12
yes i agree, it happens with the people we love we bear them or do anything for them. That's natural i feel.but you are lucky you got such a good husband with so much of patience
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
9 Nov 12
That is true, our love for them makes us stand for them no matter what. Thank yo for sharing.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
8 Nov 12
Im the same way as you. But really we should be patient with everyone. Why does it really matter if they are family or just a person. Have a great day there.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
9 Nov 12
I agree with you maria, we should be patient to everyone. That would really make this world a better place to live if all people will apply the same principle. Thank you for your response.
