Is it love, if someone is in-control of you?

Man loves to be in control, women loves to be controlled by man, but theres a trick to that, a women can control a man with out mans knowing the women controls him, he does all the decisions for them both though. But there are times when women are over reacting and becomes more controlling the guys wants to leave because they feel suffocated. i guess when women doesnt like the guys controlling action he has to ask her self is she showing the man that she should be trusted, same with men are they showing both that they should be trusted?

Well, it might be showing some concern, but sometimes it gets to the point of being too possessive! Like when you go to hang some wet clothes to dry and then your partner comes to check to see whether you are all right!

I have been in a relationship where the man wanted to be in total control of everything I did. That didn't go over very well with me although I put up with it for awhile. He eventually became violent and my self esteem was very low. Fortunately my grandmother didn't raise me to be a victim. One morning when he was getting ready to go to work I asked him for some money to buy groceries. I was ever so meek and humble. As soon as he was gone I was on the bus and out of town. That was the only time I went home to escape a situation I had gotten myself into. He came to my grandmothers house and my grandfather met him on the porch with the shotgun. He told him never to come around me again. I never saw him after that.

That's right. Controlling is not helpful for any relationship. Even in a workplace, controlling co workers on the habits or routines could be unproductive. In a relationship, controlling could suffocate your partner and might just blow off if they get sick of it.

In every community, no matter how small, it's good if there's someone in control. And tasks can be devided. One is control over income and expenses, the other one over shopping. Etc. etc. But for every task: someone always is in charge.

My partner is not allowed to control where I go, who I talk to, and how I spend my time. He can't tell me what I'm not allowed to wear or try to make me dependent upon him. He can't try to make me feel bad so that he can provide me with self-esteem and make me dependent on his judgment for my self-worth. Hmm...there is a lot more...but all of these types of behaviors cannot be accepted for a healthy relationship. Even people who enjoy things like BDSM need to have a safe word and have their own life and opinions. It is not possible for two people to become one, as nice as it sounds. Each person needs a voice and individuality.

It is a strong indicator of an abusive relationship when someone wants to control you. Abuse and love are two different matters all together.

Sometimes when we are in love, we forgot that we are trying to possess to the point that we are controlling. I guess communication is the best way to understand each other. Being open can make the relationship strong and stand the test of time. After all if we do love each other, understanding each other is one key that it will succeed.

Love is not suppose to suffocate us. Being constantly under the clutches of a spouse or partner will eventually turn love into hatred. We should coexist as individuals with respect to the love that bind the two hearts together.

Control is a power play. Love is about true acceptance of another's lumps, bumps as well as the good parts. It's support and understanding. This does not mean you give up your own judgement, it just means that any judgement you make of another is done first with kindness.

For the person who is controlling, he might see it as love. But for the person being controlled, it is not. A relationship is a give and take process, sharing equal responsibilities and wanting to be one in heart and mind. No way can a person controlling another have a successful relationship. It will surely be bound to end.

Well, I do not know to give you a specific answer to this question, because, until now, have never been involved in a romantic relationship and therefore, I never had a partner! But when he saw your argument objectively, I believe that often the partner is controlled because there is no trust. Let me explain. A woman (or vice versa) controls his partner, because she is afraid that he falls into temptation and betray the trust. This is what I know to say on this topic.

No i don't consider it as love, as you said it is over possessiveness. Understanding and respect should be there in love not possessiveness.such love doesn't last long.

Someone controling their partner sure doesnt sound to me like a relationship. I would never let my spouse control me. Loved ones are partners.

Any guy who tries to control me does not love me. And he will soon find that I hate him. True love does not confine but it sets you free. When you are with the right one, you feel free to do what you love.Why? Because your match will support you.

If it's love it should be unconditional. There shouldn't be anyone controlling the relationship. I will love someone for who and what she is and I will never try to change or possess her because she is not a thing that we can own. People we love are the ones that we share our lives and experiences they don't own us neither do we own them.

Shavkat, no I do not think it is love if you feel the need to control the other person. For me, this is one of those things that hits my buttons and gets me pretty angry is when people try to be controling. I consider it manipulation. Emotional manipulations where people play on your emotions to control you into doing something is the worst. I just broke up with someone, and the crux of it came down to it that I truly believe I played right into doing what he wanted me to do and say. He broke up with me because of it. I think it was all just baiting me into a fight, so he could break up with me. I think that it was all about him. Truthfully, people that are controlling are generally quite selfish.

hi, actually i will choose to wanted that because i will see how my partner concern and possessive with me,sometimes love will choke you that is why some relationship ends,and i have experienced that to my ex partner,and it will only result to break up.

Hi no one should control any one if you rally love the person both party will know about it because it will be your soul mate you should be a be able to feel it, if you feel like you are being control talk to the person if they do not listen then it might not be love ok have good day.

Most men and women want to be possessive and some over possessive in matter of relationship, one way it is good, but too much is certaily not good lol.