Applying for SSI

St. Peters, Missouri
December 7, 2012 1:22am CST
I'm rather new to this, so I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do! My daughter needs financial help, I think she qualifies for SSI, but I'm not sure. My daughter is 20 years old and lives with me. She has Tourette's Syndrome, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Depression. She's been in and out of various facilities for the last 6 or 7 years. She lived in children's homes from the age of 16 to 18. Since, she's been hospitalized many times and has spent months at a time in a psychiatric facility. I've lost track of the number of times she's tried to hurt herself or tried to commit suicide. Right now, today, she's doing great! She's going to college and earning A's and B's. She had been working at KFC, but recently quit because it was too stressful. Work seemed to be one of the triggers for her "episodes". Now she babysits. Due to advice from her psychiatrist, she takes no more than 2 classes per semester at school. She's doing well because she's not doing much. Everything seems to stress her too much and causes problems. She's been denied SSI because she's "doing too well" and "hasn't had enough problems at work". Because I don't work for someone, she has no health insurance. Neither of us can get health insurance because of pre-existing conditions and her father is retired and can't get her insurance. She already has tens of thousands of dollars of hospital bills. We need help! What should I do? Does it sound like she qualifies or does she not qualify because she's trying to help herself? Can anyone help me with some information?
3 people like this
5 responses
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
7 Dec 12
I would think that she should be able to get some sort of assistance. my ex's ex wife is on SSI and going to college. Her kids have ADHD and she gets SSI for them as well. I agree with Bags comments above. Get someone at the hospital to fill out the form. Does she not qualify for medicaid at least to help with the medical bills?
1 person likes this
• St. Peters, Missouri
7 Dec 12
Thank you - I will talk to someone at the hospital and see if they will help. She does have Missouri medicaid (and I believe it goes through her 23rd birthday), so she does have some limited insurance. This will at least cover medical hospital expenses - that saved her another 5 or 10 thousand dollars. But it won't cover any doctor's visits or anything psychiatric related - her major medical expense. And we live in Illinois - so many places won't accept it anyway. I've been told that to get Illinois medicaid, we would have to cancel Missouri medicaid before beginning the application process, it would take 5-6 months for the application to be processed (during which time she would have nothing), and then she wouldn't be guaranteed that she would even get Illinois medicaid. I'm afraid to cancel. Although she's doing so well right now, things change for her in a blink of an eye. She could fall apart today. She fell off a balcony the other day - fortunately just severely sprained her foot - and I really thought we were back. But it seems that is was just a very unfortunate accident. With her two diagnoses of Borderline Personality Disorder and depression, hospitals are a common occurence. The depression causes her to actually hurt herself. She's stuck wires up her wrists, drunk bleach, thrown herself down stairs - you name it, she's probably tried it. The Borderline Personality Disorder causes her to seek out attention - especially in hospitals. She fakes things to get sent to the hospital. A few months ago she started faking grand mal seizures. She's very convincing when she fakes. I actually do have grand mal seizures, so she knows what they look like. Although I was fairly sure they were faked, it still wasn't safe to ignore them. Another trip (or 3) to the hospital. Which is why I was suspicious of the fall. First, because she'd had a real situation the night before in which we had to visit Urgent Care (her psychiatrist's office told us to go to the ER) and didn't receive much attention. They sent her home and told her to take some over-the-counter meds. Also, it was just like the episodes at her dad's house when she threw herself down a flight of stairs and threw herself off a second story balcony. I was also suspicious that after falling from a second story balcony, she would only sprain a foot - not even break it - and nothing else was hurt. And then there are the incidents that start as an attempt for attention and in the process she actually hurts herself. What often happens is she goes to the ER (or wherever), if needed they admit her to the regular hospital long enough to treat whatever the immediate medical need is, and then they transfer her to the hospital psychiatric ward for 5-6 days (not usually covered because it's psychiatric). Recently, she repeatedly tried to hurt herself in the hospital psychiatric ward and they finally gave up, said they couldn't keep her safe, and transferred her to a longer-term facility where she stayed for 5 months. Last semester, before the doctor told her to limit the number of hours she took at school, she was taking 17 semester hours (4 classes). She was doing great in her classes. She had 3 A's and a B. One week before finals, she ended up in the psychiatric hospital and had to drop all her classes. She had 3 different stays in hospital psychiatric wards, each 5-6 days long before she was transferred to the longer-term hospital. The doctor said it was the stress of classes that caused it. This is when he told her to limit her hours. So between these two problems, she often spends more time in the hospital than home. I'd be very afraid to try to go 6 months without it. I'm just pulling out my hair trying to help her. I'm often afraid to leave the house to go to work. There have been times I've made her come with me and sit with me throughout my work-time. If I don't go to work, I don't get paid - so I can't just take a few days off. I can't afford to.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
7 Dec 12
Did the doctor tell her to limit herself before or after she was turned down for SSI? If after I would try to get a statement from that doctor explaining how the stress of "real life" affects her. She obviously needs some type of assistance. From what you have described I would think working a full time job would be equally hard on her and inability to work is one of the factors when qualifying for SSI isn't it?
1 person likes this
• St. Peters, Missouri
9 Dec 12
Very good! Thank you! Yes, the doctor told her to ease off since she was turned down. I'll talk to her doctor, or ask her to talk to the doctor, and see if he would do that. Even going into child-care, I am afraid of her trying to work full-time. That goal might be a bit out of her reach, at least right now.
• China
8 Dec 12
Well I am sorry to hear that,your daughter has a strong will,I think she will overcome the all the obstacles hinder her. In your case,why not go to some relate government department or other relate associations and organizations to ask for help? There are many these kinds of organizations can help some special kids such like your daughter. Or you can ask the media for help and let more people well know about that,the I sure there are must some people will help you out. Good luck to you and your daughter!
1 person likes this
• St. Peters, Missouri
9 Dec 12
Thank you! I'm always interested in other directions we can go. I don't want to teach her that it's ok to rely on her disabiity for the rest of her life. I'm trying very hard to help instill independence in her. Right now, I think she's doing admirably. But for a few months, we need some help.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
7 Dec 12
First of all I would like to know what all these counceling/hospitals etc said about her, her future perspect. Also I would like to know what her main problem is. With Tourette's one can live, also with borderline, I assume the depressions are a result of it. So focus on Tourettes plus borderline. Fact is stress will make it worser so she needs to live a steady live as possible, with enough relaxing time. The way she is doing it now is the best. She proves she is able to earn A's and B's so she is a smart girl, just needs to do it in her own tempo. I don't know how health insurances work in your country. In mine they won't pay for everything even if you have one. The fact she is not qualified for SSI probably has to do with the fact she is trying to make a life herself (what else is left over if society let you down?). This way she shows she has guts and yes she is not showing how desperate she is. Now the question is: what is it your daughter wants for her? Since I think that is the most important thing there is. It's her life. Is there a goal she likes to reach no matter what or how? Does she has contact with people with the same healt problems? Perhaps there is a way you can get an insurance without having a job? Which probably will not pay for the bills which already are there but might for bills in future? See if there is an organisation who can help her manage these bills/paying off or find an other way. See if there are parents who deal with the same problem, they might have some advices to you if it comes to medical help or who knows there are organisations willing to help out paying those bills.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 12
If your daughter stops working due to any of these reasons all you have to do is get a social worker from the hospital to fill out her application. she more than qualifies for the help. but, you know as long as she is doing well who would approve her for this? not one person I know. The social worker filled out my application and I stopped working due to my health issues. so,I know this much myself.
1 person likes this
• St. Peters, Missouri
9 Dec 12
That seems to be the general thought. But I would much rather that she continue to be as productive as she can instead of quitting just so she can get help. Her doing well is so tied in with her self-esteem and that directly relates to her health. I'll continue to look.
@urbandekay (18312)
14 Dec 12
SSI is Site of Special Scientific Interest to me all the best, urban
1 person likes this