not knowing......
@angelwithkids (1256)
United States
December 19, 2012 10:44pm CST
What do you do when your child isn't where they are supposed to be???? My daughter dropped me and her brother off at his school Christmas party. She went to her choir practice at the church. Practice ends at 8. She was to come back to the school and hang with us till the end of the party. By 8:30, I called her. No answer. I texted her. No answer. 8:45, I called her again. No answer. I texted her. No answer. I called the house, no answer. I went to the church's website to call, they had a notification that there was no service/classes for tonight. My panic attack started up. I called her phone again, no answer. By the time I could get a ride over to the church, I was having trouble breathing. We got to the church, there was my truck. I got into the auditorium, she was on stage.
Practice ran later than usual. She didn't ask for a break to text me to let me know that it was running late. I had such a relief to know that she was ok, that my legs felt week. I know I need to get this under control. I hate feeling that I'm clipping their wings. I hate these panic attacks! I'm ok as long as I know where they are and they keep me informed when plans change. I can't keep doing this.
8 responses
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Dec 12
I know what you mean about feeling like you are clipping their wings because of the panic attacks that you experience. However, I also think that it is only natural to be having anxiety when it comes to your children, especially after what has happened in this world in the last week.
In your defense, she really should have taken the minute or so that it would have taken for her to let you know that their practice was running over and therefore she wouldn't be back when she said that she would.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
30 Dec 12
I'm hoping that she took our talk to heart and she realizes that I do love her and am concerned about what she does when she's not around me. Ever since her brother "disappered" for 2 hours, I get really freaked when they don't keep in touch and aren't where they are supposed to be. I'm grateful that she was still at the church, but the fact that she didn't let me know that practice ran late and knew that I was depending on her to come back to me by a specific time, I panicked.
@StLouisMetroTutoring (678)
• St. Peters, Missouri
20 Dec 12
I personally make sure I do everything I expect my daughter to do also. My daughter is 20 years old. I expect to know where she is and what time she plans to be home. And I make sure I tell her where I'm going to be and what time I'm going to be home. It shows respect and courtesy for a child to give this information to their parents. I believe parents need to be respectful and show courtesy too if they want it from their kids. Parents should give this information to their children if they want it in return. I'm supposed to be the role model. Besides the safety factor, I'm teaching my daughter basic manners.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
30 Dec 12
She knows that I don't have to let her know anything, but I do try to show her respect when she's depending on me to help her out. There are times where I try to get my errands done so she can use the vehicle to get to work vs me having to take her and then go back to pick her up few hours later in the cold.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
20 Dec 12
I know how it feels when we practically do not have any cue where our kids are. And just like you, I could be in panic at times. But, I have somehow tamed myself coz I was afraid I'd go crazy constantly worrying. My kids are all boys, and of course, they wouldn't want me to be around wherever they are. My eldest, who is 19 now is the only one who goes out late and comes home the following day. I get irritated sometimes coz he does this every week, but I feel that I am hindering him from enjoying his youth. So I just asked me to leave his cellphone always available so that I maybe able to reach him whenever I want to.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
30 Dec 12
Neither of my kids do that just yet. I know that time is coming, I pray that it's always later than sooner. She's learned to be more responsible in communicating her lateness and I think my son is learning from her mistake. That's good for me that he's learning.
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
20 Dec 12
Hello there. angelwithkids. :)
I am worried and at the same time mad when my kids don't reply to my calls and text messages. I always tell them to answer right away. I tell them that that is the reason why I gave them cell phones. So that they will always be of reach especially when needed. I am worried ofcourse because something might happen to them and was mad because we have a strict rule here at home to follow schedules. At this age that there are many destructions to kids life, sometimes, it is hard communicating with them. I wish God will give me MORE patience and I pray for kids understanding..
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
30 Dec 12
I keep praying that God will continue to watch over my kids and protect them when I can't be around. It's always good to follow strict schedules, that's the way things get done. :)
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
20 Dec 12
Just last night I was talking to my sister and she told me, times again, what an over protective parent I am. We were talking exactly how I always need to know where my kids are at all times. She can't believe I still do that even to my first son who is now 19!
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
30 Dec 12
I guess age really doesn't matter. We'll always be concerned. With so many brutal attacks going on, you just can't be to careful any more. :(
1 person likes this
@epilator (1)
• China
20 Dec 12
you are worried about your daughter, but found it's nothing. you should have your daughter known the meaning of respect.You should inform your parents if there is somrthing changed.All you need is heart to heart communication.
Have a nice talk with your child.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
30 Dec 12
I did sit with her later that night and we talked. The next night, I received two messages when the practice ran late and one when she left the church. I was happy to see those messages. She's doing a lot better in letting me know when she's running late.
@edvc77 (2140)
• Philippines
20 Dec 12
It is normal and natural to worry especially in regards to our children. Parents must really have communication from time to time to know where are they at that moment. There are many mad people nowadays and we are concern for their welfare. Proper communication is a must. A simple gadget can be a means to communication. Just a suggestion.
Have a nice day!
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
30 Dec 12
I think she learned her lesson. The next night was another choir practice. I received two text messages. One telling me that practice was running late and another one telling me she was on her way home. I felt good getting those messages.
Following Sunday, she did a wonderful job singing on stage with the choir. They had put on a wonderful show! :)
@ZoeJoy (1392)
• United States
20 Dec 12
You are NOT clipping their wings. If your children are under 18 years old, you are responsible for them and you have a right to know where they are - at all times. You are a mother - you will always have panic attacks. Accept it. My children are grown and have moved out. My daughter knows that if I text her and she doesn't respond within a couple of hours, (because she could be at work) then I will text her boyfriend. If he doesn't respond, I will drive to her apartment to see if she is OK. I don't need to know where she is at all times, but she knows that I appreciate hearing from her every 2-3 days. My sons are in the military and I have had to learn to trust that - no news is good news. Sometimes, the only communication that I receive from them is a quick email, a short phone call or a postcard. Yes, as a mother, you will have to learn that you will always worry about your children. Panic attacks is normal for being a caring and concerned mother. It doesn't matter how old your children are, you are still their mother.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
30 Dec 12
Thank you for reassuring me that I'm not loosing my mind. Overall, my children and I have a good relationship and I try hard not to treat them like they are still 2 yrs old.
She's doing better in communicating with me when activities are running late and my son is learning from her. ;)
