Why Are People Rude?

United States
January 29, 2013 11:42am CST
Ever stop to think why that person cut in front of you in line, why did that person zoomed ahead of you to get that parking space? I often try to think why that person is being like that. Are they just rude by nature or is there something in their background that made them that way? Can a person have such a hard life that they take it out on those around them or is there something temporarily bothering them? So I went on a search about rudeness but first I needed a good understanding of what rude really was. According to Wikipedia rudeness is "Rudeness is a display of disrespect by not complying with the social "laws" or etiquette of a group or culture." Disrespect was the first word that popped out at me. With that being said does one carry this disrespect with them from childhood, a learnt behavior or is it gained slowly as one matures?
3 people like this
14 responses
@mariaperalta (19229)
• Mexico
29 Jan 13
I think some people are rude because they are unhappy with their lifes. i cant figure out any other reason for that...
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 13
Mariperalta, thanks for the comment. I agree there are a lot of unhappy people out there and they want to make you unhappy along with them.
@lelin1123 (15651)
• Puerto Rico
29 Jan 13
I have wondered about this so offen. How did they become this way. Especially the people who cut you off while driving and you hunk the horn and then they preceed to give you the middle finger. They were in the wrong, are you kidding me! They could have caused an accident. It could be both a learned behavior or they watched their own parents act this way. People like this think they are above everyone else and they can get away with it. Until that one person puts them in their place and maybe they will learn from it or maybe they won't, I doubt it. I was brought up to respect and not to break social laws. I can't see cutting the line, taking one's parking space that you know they were waiting for. I can't see driving without signaling or letting someone pass in front of me because they got into the wrong lane. Hold the door for someone behind you, if a person has only one item on a long line let that person go ahead of you. It's not going to kill you. Just be courtesy and thoughtful of others and life will be so much better for everyone.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 13
Thanks for you input lelim1123. When I open the door for someone and they do not say thank you and walk through, I say thank oh,that leaves them speechless. Sometimes if I am walking through a doorway and they let go of the door and it hits me, I always say thank you. Again, it leaves them speechless.
@Raine38 (7784)
• United States
29 Jan 13
Maybe because that is their normal behavior when growing up. Nobody other end to correct it and that is what they see with how the people around them act. So they grew up thinking that its okay t be rude to people. But there are those that still turned out to be that nasty when in fact their folks happen to be a bunch of decent, good couple. It could also be an outside influence during the stage in their lives when he are looking for someone to look up to and they happened to get associated with the wrong crowd. But whatever age someone is in,I don't think it will ever be too late for them to learn a lesson or two and grow up.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 13
Thanks for you reply Raine38. I have to agree with you on that.
@subhojit10 (7385)
• India
29 Jan 13
Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Well i can understand what u wanted to convey through your discussion, i think we have people of varied natures around us, while some like to gel with people, some like to show attitude to others. It is our responsible to be judgemental in life and avoid people whom we are not comfortable mixing with. So u also avoid thinking about such people. What say?
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 13
Thank you for your post subhojit10. I read a great book about what you are talking about. Either we gel with those around us or we don't. As to our comment about being our responsibility, I think it is more like,human nature to judge others. The book states that we self separate with others if we are either comfortable or uncomfortable being around them. So, being around rude people,I self separate yield for them.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
29 Jan 13
I do think about it at times... And sometimes I feel some people are not trying to be rude. Like for example this is the way I think, if someone cuts you off while driving I always think to myself I hope their not rushing to the hospital right now and that is why their driving so fast and cutting people off. My mind just always goes that way. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt first every time...
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jan 13
Thanks for your comment LovingMyBabies. I try to do that myself since I was raise to be considerate of other people. Bit, I have reached a point in my life that my tolerance level isn't what it use to be. Guess that comes with age.
1 person likes this
@Adoniah (7525)
• United States
29 Jan 13
Rudeness is a total lack of self control. It is an ego problem that a person should have been taught to control in childhood. Children today are raised by babysitters, daycare and television not caring parents. Actually it has been true for so many generations that I am sure that most people have no idea how to raise a child since they too were raised by babysitters,daycare and television. Daycare is early school for most kids and is very socialist as is our school system. They are praised for everything they do even if it is not really correct. They are told "Johnny good job for trying"...What the hell is that? Instead they should be told to try to get it right next time. They get praised just for turning in a paper even if it is totally wrong...It teaches kids that they do not have to delay gratification...It should always be expected immediately. Here starts the insane ego mania...
• United States
29 Jan 13
Thanks for your response Adoniah. That is so true about the day care, TV and uncaring parents. My granddaughter is 4 months old. Mom is allowed to take her to work 2 days a week, works from home 2 days and I with the baby 1 day a week. This way the baby is not in a daycare environment and is raised with family.
@lhy1609 (17)
• China
30 Jan 13
My major is psychology,"enforcement" is the first term floated to my head when i see your topic. In perspective of Behaviorism,certain behavior will be recur if it is enforced and will disappear if it is punished,broadly speaking,enforcement is linked with gratification and punishment is linked with forfeit. as regards to social sitution,for instance,someone cut in front of you in line because they could get what they want faster,if they are not be reproached or punished,it's much likely to them to act the same way next time.
• China
31 Jan 13
i'm sorry,the "enforcement" and "enforced" mentioned above should be "reinforcement" and "reinforced"
• United States
31 Jan 13
lhy1609, I leaned that myself reading books and working in schools and nursing home. Young or old, behavior is either rewarded or "punished". Punishment can also have the opposite effect don't you think? Thanks for an enlightening response.
• China
31 Jan 13
yeah,someone are likely to act as they were before or even more wicked after the so called "punishment".but it is the veneer. if we strip it away,we could find that what under this so called "punishment" is "reinforcement" squarely.for example,a girl are scolded by his mom for her negative action such as breaking vase,shouting loudly while her parents are talking with others and so forth,but next time,the girl do these things as usual.probably what the girl realy want is her mom's attention,so,the punishment---scolding,is actually a reinforcement,cuz the girl get her mom's attention successfully.
@echoforever (5192)
• United States
31 Jan 13
Welcome to mylot Scoopzz An interesting debate can be had here but it also can be both ways. Someone can be rude because they're experiencing something in their lives that is causing them to be that way but they can also have that inherent learned rudeness that has followed them. The deeper question for me is if that person realizes they are being rude or not. I often know when I am being rude and unless I am just in an extremely beguiled mood I will usually knock it off soon after I started. Mine is not a learned rudeness. I was taught to be polite and kind. Mine is usually when I've been hurt I tend to lash out. Well less now than I used to but you see my point.
• United States
31 Jan 13
Great response echoforever, I have the same tendency when I something happens that puts me in a cranky mood, I lash out. I realize after I do and always have to say sorry to a family member. If it is a stranger that I can't say sorry because I only see them for a brief money.
• United States
31 Jan 13
Its good we know our fault in this. I wonder if the others do or not. I've grown from this in ways because I knew I had heard family and friends at times.
@Hatley (107690)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 13
scoopzz If rudeness is disrespect I think a l ot of people never learned respect as their parents never respected them. They then did not respect their parents, If one does not learn respect from their parents they disrespect their parents then go on to disrespect others also. So rudeness begins at home when parents forget to respect their kids and teach them to respect others also.
• United States
29 Jan 13
Oh I agree that proper behavior does start at home and I thank you for your response Hatley.
• United States
31 Jan 13
You're right Hatley some of them are just inheriently rude, unfortunate for us.
@deiusz (194)
• Indonesia
30 Jan 13
i think they are too selfish and ego for others even they are have high formal education. They only thing your theirselves only and make sure safe for them. I thought it's not about being childhood because they realised when they did this and this behavior is developed by their environment where they live and their growth up. Only thing they want the easy and dont care how to get it as long as can get it even it's not good habit like looking for parking space. Like in my placed if holiday coming then almost every mall will be fulled even in parking lot too so every person whose coming into the mall they will hard to find empty parking space and dont hope you can get good position like near the mall closest door, so you dont need to walk too far.
• United States
31 Jan 13
deiusz, thanks for a great response. Education might play a part but I think it all goes back to their upbringing in part. Good thought about "don't care how to get it as long as can get it"
@kiepher (55)
• Philippines
30 Jan 13
I think all of it. When someone grew in an environment practicing it then most likely, a child will also carry it into his paces of life. One line goes something like,"What the elders do, in the eyes of a child, it is right". If example, a certain child's parent practice like one, then there is higher possibility that he will do the same. Or, probably innocence towards something, when someone do not know that he is already being rude or disrespectful then he/she will always do it.
• United States
31 Jan 13
Thanks for your response keep her, it is hard to understand why people are rude. Could be a combination of all sorts of things.
• Philippines
30 Jan 13
I think rudeness has something to do with the environment a person grow with. If a person was taught of proper behavior and conduct by their parents since childhood then one would be a respectful person and sensitive to feelings of others. On the other hand, if you grow with a family who shows disrespect and bad behaviour to each other then more likely you'll be the same type of person when you grow up. It takes proper education and discipline to be a fine citizen.
• United States
30 Jan 13
&gamarays12, I agree and thanks for your response,
@averygirl72 (2481)
• Philippines
30 Jan 13
Rude people are normal part of life. I don't know the exact reason too for their rudeness. I am not impressed with rude people because they only think of themselves inconsiderate, braggarts and selfish best describe them.
• United States
30 Jan 13
Thanks for your replyaverygirl72, there are a lot of selfish people out there. I think it is a "me" world.
@TLilly12 (1230)
• United States
29 Jan 13
My brother must have missed the mark, because he is a very rude person, I have just stopped saying anything to him because, he has these problems with his girl friend and he act rude all the time I don't like being around him I will be glad when i move away from him
• United States
29 Jan 13
TLilly12' thanks for the response. I think your brother is dealing with the girlfriend issues so that could explain his rudeness there. The question is has he be rude before the issues?