Alone time rant.

@saundyl (9690)
Canada
February 20, 2013 5:41pm CST
I am a person who needs alone time from time to time. If i dont get it i start getting overwhelmed. In turn i start getting moody and quite easy to anger. It seems lately like everytime i ask for alone time one person is willing to give it to me (my boyfriend) but others just show up (walk in and make themselves at home) whenever they want. They seem to think that i should be ok with them being there whenever they want to and respect that "they have to do hair to work" but they dont have to respect my privacy. A little consideration and private time is all im asking for. Not even more than an hour of time completely alone. But She seems to think that is too much to ask. Yes i lost it at her. I had a major freak out and told her to get out of the house. I received an email that my personal time is not the issue her working is. No my issue is i need space i need time. When i ask for it i really do need it. Why is that so much to ask for? She gets a week at a time where she can choose to be alone after work or do hair or be with the boys. When its her time with the boys...i still dont have a choice in the matter if she is there or not.
4 responses
• Philippines
21 Feb 13
Oh my dear Saundyl, i know what your getting through. sometimes people really forgets that in this busy world of ours, a moment of peace and time alone is a great way to cope up with all these things happening. Yes, most of the time it is really hard to ask and explain to people why you have to spend a little time alone, as they think you need them to feel better. You are lucky your boyfriend is willing to give that particular time, yet your friend must be a little over unsensitive to realize that she is no welcome for some time. Sigh.... a little woes to think about and solve.
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
21 Feb 13
I think what bothers me most is it seems like everytime i look forward to some me time. Shes there and i dont get it.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
21 Feb 13
That's frustrating. Is there somewhere else she can meet her clients? I don't really understand (sorry) why she needs to come to your home to do people's hair, nor how she can make you responsible for her kids' homework. I don't need very much alone time, but my husband and my son both need at least a little bit each day, and I try to respect that.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
21 Feb 13
Well... for the responsibility for homework thing because i live with their dad...(she happens to be his exwife) We have them halftime but i seem to end up doing homework with them when she has them too. The shop - i wish that she would move it. Hopefully she does. For now as its all set up sink and equipment wise she doesnt seem inclined.
@Raine38 (9193)
• United States
21 Feb 13
I can totally understand your need for some alone time. Everyone of us needs to have one once in a while. Is she your friend, or someone you have known for quite some time? If she is, she should have known that this is not a good time and she should have respected that.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
21 Feb 13
Sadly she's not someone i consider my friend. She happens to be his ex-wife. I try to be amicable and nice and accept the unique arrangement our situation with her shop connected to our home however she seems to not get boundaries(like knocking ona bedroom door), has expectations that if we had the same ones of her she'd have a cow. To be honest there's time's i swear she does it on purpose in hopes that i will leave forever.
@nanayangel (7862)
• Philippines
20 Feb 13
Hi there Saundyl! I think everyone should be entitled to their own alone time. This may keep us sane, spark some inspiration or just refresh our energy and be stress free, so that we can be ready to face the world again after some time alone. I think when you feel the need to be alone, and you cannot have it in your own home, you should go somewhere where it may not be necessarily really quiet but at least you can have a little space and just breathe. You may go to a park, a relatively quiet restaurant, even rent a motel room and just spend some time alone.
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
20 Feb 13
A motel room here costs 189 per night and none of the hotels here have a day rate. Would be lovely but not a feasible cost. Summer time I'd go for a walk or do something outside. Winter - the past few weeks have been very cold and the nice days i've had to be at work. I dont ask for the time very often. I think it irks me most is that when i do ask for it someone purposely and yes she does it purposely books clients or shoves homework onto me to do with the boys. It infuriates me that she uses my request for space to make me the bad guy to the boys. Yes i chose to be in this situation by dating their dad but that does not give their mother the right to use me.