Grateful Or Ungrateful How Do We Rate Our Lives?

Pamplona, Spain
March 9, 2013 5:09am CST
Life is so hard sometimes it seems like that we can reach a goal get so near to it and then it fades away into nowhere. Where did it all go you could ask yourself. One man found himself believing another person´s fables stories for about five or six years the poor man was kept on a string and with a bit of cash here and bit of cash there thus the fable and lie kept going on and on and in the end he was left with nothing but an empty pocket. He was led on by somebody who he thought he could trust and would protect him. He was surrounded by fame and money yet had none for himself. He was being paid but a pittance. Today this man lives in appalling conditions with family to support and yet he bears no malice, or anger against the people who did this to him this is a very humbling story indeed. Does not blame other people and is forever grateful for the people who surrounded that helped him out these were people that did not have any fame or money at all and he said whole heartedly that he loves those good people. I felt so wholeheartedly for a person that has endured such conditions. Can we ever be grateful for what we have ourselves? After seeing this mans plight my problems and others fade out completely I am still thinking about how he bears no malice or anger something which most of us would feel about having gone through such an experience no bitterness only the wish to be able to make a living the best way he knows how.
4 people like this
11 responses
@yanzalong (10151)
• Indonesia
9 Mar 13
What happens is that most people are grateful when the luck is with them. They think God helps them so they feel the need to be grateful to God. And those with bad luck often curse themselves for being unlucky.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hello yanza, All of us do that I think we may not realize it or think about it that way either. Secret is to be grateful for the smallest chance in life to be able to be better or just to be well. Oh yes some when they are unlucky can get to really feel like that and the more they curse themselves the worse it gets so it seems. I was thinking about something like that this morning too. Being grateful and saying thank you can open untold doors for us all.xxx
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Mar 13
Agreed LAI being grateful is pretty easy, it's just that a lot of people chose not to be. They aim the bar way too high, and whether they do it purposely or not, it needs to change I think!
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hello PTB, You know what I really mean here is that not everyone should be grateful or thankful or whatever but when you come across a story like this man its very profound in a way you cannot help be touched by the way he has suffered. People from his Country even drown making very dangerous crossings to this country some dramatic stories. His Spanish is impeccable too so I think that someone will have seen the disaster he is living through no fault of his own and well will have to wait and see. Yes some people choose to complain all the time even when they have everything but the world will never stop because of that it never has. Such are the ways of the world. You are right they aim way too high we cannot change each person individually. xxx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
10 Mar 13
For most part I admit I am mostly ungrateful to the people who have abused and bullied me in the past, it's very very hard not to become bitter and regretful about how your life shaped out, and those that have altered it, sometimes for the worse, at the time we have to make decisions which when we grow older look back upon and think those decisions were so wrong, but at the time seemed so right. It's hard for me not to regret not saying no to my partner at the time when they asked me to move in with them, I had just lost my job and I was worried that I couldn't pay my rent so I agreed and that was a big turning point in my life. Now instead of being grateful to my partner for giving me a way out, I resented what they did, because my life went down hill fast after that, it is easy to put blame on others, when we are adult enough to make our own choices. I was just in the wrong place at the time. Now I wouldn't hesitate in say no, being assertive, and refusing to be manipulated and controlled. It's sad we learn so much at the latter part of our lives. Experience really does come at the wrong end of life.
• Pamplona, Spain
10 Mar 13
Hiya wolfie, You have a right to feel ungrateful towards them. Its a matter of personal choice really. After having made your life impossible you are ever likely to feel like that. I have lived in England long and suffered much there more than what I could ever do here so I know to an extent how you can feel about it all. Do I feel grateful to my ex brothers? I call them ex brothers because after what they did they have no name for me they just do not exist. I divorced myself from them. If anything they should be grateful to me for all the cash and support I gave them in the past which was when I lent them cash even though they had cash a plenty and my pockets were almost empty most of the time with me giving my Mom most of the wage packet. We say here time and a fishing rod it only really means what goes around comes around but I wish them no ill but at the moment at this very moment in time I do not feel any gratitude towards them at all and a few years have gone under the bridge as well. I have learned to forgive and forget to a point because they are not going to give me back what they took from me and I would now tell them to keep it anyway lol. Many times I took refuge in my next door neighbour´s house as I had no other escape there was no help then you had to sort it out on your own. For that I am grateful having a place to go and play and be a girl like I was and not having those horrible brothers hanging around like a ball and chain each one because I was supposed to look after them most of the day you see plus do other things as well. Think it takes a long long time to be even a bit grateful that they have been my brothers I do not know how long it will take. All I know is that its the same distance from their phone to mine although I do not have their phone numbers they have made them ex directory well because they are really silly. See I am not such an angel after all am I? You will get a job wolfie I almost wish I could help you find one too mine have found employment again after being laid off again and again.xxx
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@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
11 Mar 13
Thank you my friend, my mother offered me a sanctuary back at my old home, It took a lot of courage to do so, as it meant living under the same roof as my bullying abusive father, I had no where else to go and I had to escape my abusive ex, kind of pattern there. I know that when I move again, like your brothers my father will become an ex father. I hate him, it's a toxic environment I live in, but at least here I can keep an eye on my mother. Maybe getting a job well away from home would be the answer then I'd have to move!
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
12 Mar 13
Hello wolfie, Somewhere is better than none albeit that place where you do not really want to be either. Your Mom will help compensate the abuse of the other I hope she had a really good time on her Birthday too. I don´t hate any of them but that does not mean to say that I don´t dislike what they are and what they did. For me they are a million miles away although sometimes I wish it could be so different when I see everyone else that have got such good brother and sister relations. Can´t you get a Security Job even though those jobs are quite hateful better if you got a night job so you don´t really have to put up with anyone then. I believe you have to have some kind of Card now that you have to pass some kind of exam and then something else but it would be a start in the right direction till you can find something else. Can´t think of anything else because stuff like fruit picking and all that is really hard work and if you have never done that you can spend a whole week soaking those aching muscles too although I know you go to the gym and are fit the only jobs you can get here are those kind of things. Well if you do find a good job perhaps you can take your Mom to stay with you on and off you know and he would have to get used to being on his own a bit just kidding its none of my business just wishing you lots of luck as I often catch up with England a lot of times and things are not looking good but here they are much much worse I can tell you.xxx
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
9 Mar 13
I have had a hard life for alot of reasons but I'm so grateful for the life I have now. I believe the hard times makes you so much stronger and then more grateful for when things take a turn for the better. I so grateful to God for the new life I have been given for the pass almost three years. In fact my daughter was just saying to me the other day "I'm so jealous of the life you have now" I told her please don't be jealous because I worked hard to get this life and hopefully one day you will have this life too. If anything be happy for me but not jealous. I had a hard upbringing with a very strict mom and dad. Mostly my mom though was the one you would beat us and punish us. I also had to give up college after a year because my dad lost his job so I had to get a job to help support the family. I then worked for 32 years going through the experience of both attacks on the World Trade Center. Excaping by God's good grace and my guardian angel both times. Yes, I'm very grateful for my life 100 percent grateful!
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Mar 13
Hi lelin I am happy for you now but I read the part where you said your mom was strict beating you and punishing you, it breaks my heart when I hear this I was blessed with very loving parents. You truly do deserve to have the life you do. All the best.
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hello lelin, I can identify with your childhood although it was not my Mom that would do that so much it was the other one. Left me with trauma to sort out and am still dealing with it as well. That is some miracle for you to have been there twice and walk away unscathed. You must have a fantastic Guardian Angel now I know I have one too I had a really lovely dream the other morning and this is the first time I have ever seen an Angel. Well your daughter imagines that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence that´s all I think. With me living in this country I get one or two remarks like that sometimes but they just have no idea what I have been through here no idea at all. I can well imagine you being 100 percent grateful until something like that happens I think it never really hits us that we can get to feel that kind of feeling. I have felt someone with me or something in my most difficult times as well but I cannot explain it it renews my faith which has taken a good battering over time as well. Also I think we can all have a healthy envy of other people´s lives too. God bless lelin have a great weekend.xxx
• Canada
9 Mar 13
One thing I have always tried to tell myself no matter how bad the situation I'm in is, that it could always be worse! I tried to find humor in things, and I truly do try to be grateful for the people and things I have in my life. BUT I am human so sometimes I may (on a really bad day) seem ungrateful. That guys story was pretty impressive, he is a very humble man indeed!
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• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Right I do as well I am not grateful all day long either. I can be happy, feel content and perhaps my good mood might fade a bit depending on the stress that is around me. But I am really not ungrateful either its just that we lose our track for a while its only human to do that and we all do it. I said somewhere else its a habit I am trying to be in for a good part of the day. Well at least I try whether I can get to be like that all the time is doubtful. He is very humble considering what he has been through.xxx
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Mar 13
Agreed ... He certainly is a very humble man!
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
9 Mar 13
There are plenty of people who are satisfied or even happy with what they have. Grateful I find a "strange" word. Especially if you work hard to reach what you want I don't see the need to be grateful, since you get what you deserve and it shows you that if you stick to your plan, focus on your goal you are able to reach it sooner or later. Also I know plenty of people who suffer a lot and make their goals less and less. According to me not the right way since at a certain point it's not possible anymore to just look upon others who still do way worser as you do. Also it's not motivating to improve your own life. Being passive kills for sure. BTW there is a lot inbetween grateful and ungrateful. How come you are only able to make people choose between these to opportunities?
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hiya wakeupk, Seeing as most of will have different goals to try and reach in life we will not want to think about how much worse off another person can be. You know I think it comes in handy to reflect on it that´s all that this is about. Being grateful all day long I think would be like reaching a Saintly status. You are right too we each have to look for ourselves first and the others come second but there is room to be grateful or thankful or think how lucky you are. Passive outlook on life could be good for a time who knows it might be good to be passive for a time but then to get back into the swing of things you need to be aware and on your toes to a point anyway. I found this Man´s story very touching and humbling he probably would think himself lucky to have an electric bill to pay say something like that as his conditions are truly very bad. Having mentioned that before if anyone else has seen him they might well offer him a job and I really hope so too. xxx
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
See what you mean about what you write at the bottom its not my intention at all to make anyone choose between one or the other my main focus was about a said person´s situation and how I found I had so much to be grateful for compared to the life he has been living and is still there in fact. There are many facets to being grateful and ungrateful and it is not up to me to say who is grateful or not just to write this story and that´s all no more no less. You can be content, happy, slightly happy, in quite a good mood, you can be very content too all those kind of feelings for me come into play here. Vice versa people can be the opposite and without the ungrateful feeling we might not progress either because it gives us so much push to go ahead in life that is it. Have a great weekend.xxx
@doroffee (4230)
• Hungary
9 Mar 13
I think I'm a bit ungrateful, but it depends... there are people who have worse than me, they have their own problems, but sometimes they are content with their lives, because they only know that. Of course people in different cultures would have different problems. But sometimes I should just grateful for the fact that I live, that I was a flat to live in, that I'm relatively healthy (I have a bunch of health problems, but at least I have all my limbs and I don't suffer from brain damage), that I have my love with me, that I can enjoy life, and I have the opportunity to have fun, go to the theatre etc., that I don't live in a war zone...
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hello doro, You are not alone I think we forget to remember others that does not make us really ungrateful I think we are really its just that life can get so really complicated too and we begin to complain. Now that is where I am developing a habit of stopping myself in my tracks and remember to see what there is around me. Takes a long time to break bad habits and even longer to install good ones but the better ones are more worth working at because they are not easy at all. I am grateful for so many things too but like I said I think I forget sometimes to remember all that question of keeping on track.xxx
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Meant to say that I think we are grateful really missed that bit out and it does not sound right if I don´t state it here at least. Having said that its a very nice day here and that is another thing to be grateful for too. xxx
@Porcospino (17979)
• Denmark
9 Mar 13
I think that the story about the man that you mentioned is inspiring. Many people would have been angry and bitter if they had experienced the same thing, but he is able to see things in a different perspective and he is able to focus on the positive things. We always have the chance to choose our own perspective. We might not be able to choose all of the things that happen to us, but we can choose how we are going to interpret those things. It is the old story about the glass of water. If people receive a half a glass of water some people will say "Why if my glass half empty? that is not fair" and other people will say "My glass is half full, I am grateful for that". The glass looks the same in both cases, but people don't interpret the glass the same way. I have had a hard life with many problems, and there have been times I found it hard to focus on the positive things instead of the problems and things that I didn't like. Sometimes I get sad when I think about the things that happened in past, but I have learned to focus on the good things and there are plenty of things to be grateful for if I think carefully about it. One day I decided to write a list of the things that I was grateful for (my husband, my family, my experiences, people I have met, things I have learned, the place where I live etc) and managed to find more than 600 things that I am grateful for.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
10 Mar 13
Hello Porcospino, Really most of us would have been at the very least angry to some degree. I suppose that also the amount of time he had been led from one lie to another might have led him to think that he had another chance, more hope. What they did to him was really awful. Anyone´s faith would have taken a real battering to say the least. He must have felt frustrated the time he was over here with so many promises being made to him he had to. Promising him a high flying life and all the rest and then nothing. I tend to think about my glass being half full I like it that way if its full it might spill over and make a mess half a glass is just right. Of course sometimes I think that things are not fair either. But then I come back into balance much quicker than before and carry on being more positive. When you are being swayed side to side by so many negative things its hard to stay on an even keel and not be tempted to blow your top about it all. Yes the glass looks the same but its not going to be the same for all. We all have an example of a person or two that we know that reflect what you are saying. They boasted to me about their new houses flashy cars not that I minded and I was simply going to have somewhere to live nothing of my own. It seems that their half glass was not enough for them either and actually most of them are divorced and not earning like they did before. Although I would be happy if they were like they were before they got married we all got on so well together there were no problems cropping up. I have many things to be grateful for as well but it can be so frustrating as well when you are surrounded by people that are negative all day long. Glad you found it inspiring too.xxx
• Canada
9 Mar 13
Hi lovinangel, What a wonderful discussion. We all have something to learn from this, in the last few years I have had many things change for me in my life. I have had many losses through no fault of my own. I really do try everyday when I start to feel sorry for myself I change my thoughts and think of the less fortunate, and count my blessings. Anything truly does become a "mindset" what our thoughts are, the body will follow. This gentlemen you talk about here really knows what is important and clearly understands life is not about money or fame, however that is not to say anyone who has this and they are happy that there is anything wrong with that, I think if all of us just really take a good look at ourselves we all could use some humbling and really be grateful for what we do have and not be feeling low for what we dont have.
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hello LaurenL., Thank you Lauren. Feeling sorry for ourselves is part of what we are we need to be negative so we can be positive at least I feel that way. Me too have suffered many losses on all levels and not all of them were my fault although some could well have been and its totally useless just thinking if only I had done it like this or that. What´s done is done. A few people I know still have the same frame of mind that they had many years ago so I thank my lucky stars that I have changed for the better but it took me a while to realize it. These past two years have been an enormous challenge for me as well but now I would not change it not now at the start I wanted to be out of this place like a rocket but I have worked a lot of it out and got to settle down as well as I can. It was a humbling experience for me seeing this man talk like that. Almost all of us would scream and shout and protest after going through anything like that but he did not. If he does come back over here he would be with the people that tried to help him out he really appreciates them.xxx
• Bahrain
9 Mar 13
hi there.. Life is not constant,it is changing. We can say that our life is grateful or ungrateful depends on the situation that we're going through. Problems will keep on coming to our lives wihtout our consent, it is a part of everydays lives. We just put in mind that every individual has its own problem and a solution to it. There's no benefit in blaming others about our problems. Prayes will always be the best solution to every problem. Thank you. =)
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hi there Indira, Sure problems will keep cropping up whether we look out for them or not. We can find ourselves being hard pressed to keep a smile on our face. Life is tough very tough at times so trying to lift your mood helps a little. Prayer is such a personal thing but very common to all so that does help and also no one can know what you are praying for or about either. Prayer can make you feel much more centered and calm. Blaming life itself will not help anyone much they might feel good and justified in that moment of saying so but later the discontent creeps in sooner or later.xxx
@missjahn (4578)
• Philippines
9 Mar 13
yes, i agree that life is hard and we can say that sometimes it is unfair. but what can make it more fairer? well, the whole faith will be uplifted to God. sometimes our misfortunes, failures, problems and such would be our measure on how do we love God the most. but what is neat, we cannot see the essence of everything without surpassing our difficulties in life and that we cannot measure too and would not know how God love us so much when all of it will be vanished and what we would see and feel are the solutions to any of our problem. there is no use of being bitter. it will just add our burden in life. let us try to loosen things and lift what we have in God. and everything will be lightened up. thanks for sharing this stuff :) God bless
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hiya MJ, Agree with that too we can think our life is not fair at all. Sometimes we complain out of habit really and we do not really mean what we say all the time. For a time we become embittered, blind to the life that is around us I have felt that too and I have had enough to make me feel like that but I find it much too tiring to be bitter and resentful so its a habit that has grown very small there are only small traces of all that left because I have worked on it. If you look at the blue sky sometimes you can wonder at how life really got to created and who made it. In another way appreciation is gratitude as well.xxx
@Sreekala (22973)
• India
9 Mar 13
Hello angel, We may think that our problem is the worst but knowing other’s story we may realize we are blessed with a satisfying life than any one. Yes, it needs to look around and learn our co-being’s life. It is so pathetic to know the problems of other people and listening others stories, there our problem is too small. Getting cheated with a trusted person is somewhat disgusting. In that case I am grateful and rate my life in that way.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
9 Mar 13
Hello sreekala, True you know because we are so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget to listen or hear about someone else that is much worse off than us. I don´t think we do it intentionally though but when a story like this crops up it makes you realize well at least most of us realize how lucky we really are. Most days this man only has a bowl of fish and rice to eat but he still keeps going and going. I just hope the ones that played all those tricks on him see him on the Television and they might just realize the misery they have caused this Man and his Family. It is pathetic what some people will get up to deceiving others when they come here to this country and keep them on a string with a load of promises. After all this man is a Spanish Citizen he should have some rights to be back here and train other young lads to be what he can now never be because of his age. Not saying any more than that. Although sometimes I can feel ungrateful most of the times I am grateful but I was not born a Saint so its when you see something like this that you realize. Maybe he will get offered a job to come back here like I said I hope someone saw him and took pity on his plight.xxx