Marriage as a war to the death?

United States
June 16, 2013 4:22pm CST
I heard a line that linked engagement as a declaration of war. and I thought that is about right! Why start out as lovely dovey when you Know you will end up hating each other? Why not start the hell in the beginning?
3 people like this
7 responses
@dawnald (84133)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Jun 13
If you feel that way, why get married at all? Most people don't go into a marriage feeling like it might end up that way.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Jun 13
My feelings exactly. I guess many equate love with marriage. I Never did. Never will.
2 people like this
@mythociate (14751)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
23 Jul 15
Because "God says" (or because 'it is another self-evident truth') that 'being alone' is not good for a person---you're more-secure if you're 'part of something bigger.'
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
14 Jul 13
I've been married to the same guy for 30 years. It hasn't been easy because I refuse to change to please him. He's the same way. We butt heads for the first five years. Now, even if I inform him I lost my job the first words out of his mouth is "lets take a really nice vacation. I'm talking Jamaica, etc.
• United States
14 Jul 13
I wouldn't last 10 minutes with a guy I butt heads with. As a wife I would have to completely change. That is why I will Never marry my guy. He loves me Just the way I am now. It would hurt me to hurt him by marrying him.
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
24 Jul 13
@sarahruthbeth22 Its a phenomenon called "when the honeymoon is over". It does take some work to fit two people under one roof. I was very capable at living independently before marriage. If marriage is uncomfortable for you I'd say don't do it!
• United States
24 Jul 13
@2004cqui I never will. I don't feeling like having to ask a man what I can or can not do. Have kids I will not love or take care of. And having to kill him so I can be free. There is no living man I hate enough to marry anyway.
@marguicha (88304)
• Chile
18 Jun 13
I´d say that marriage (as motherhood and any other significant relationship) is a relationship based on love and hate I always told my husband that only because I loved him, I had the need to discuss and fight with him. I cared enough so that he understood my points of view. I don´t know if that´s hell or not, friend. But I´m not for playing a harp dressed in a pink nightie in the clouds. I´d rather roast marshmallows.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Jun 13
Couple must have a give and take relationship and put God in the center of their life so that their marriage life would not end up hating each other. Before getting married you must ponder and think not just once but thousand times before entering into more serious commitment because Marriage for me is not just a contract but a serious swear that you will be together no matter what storm passes by.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jun 13
My new definition of hell is to not ti be loved. I Never thought a husband of mine would love me , try to possess me yes but love no. I will never see how love and marriage is suppose to go together for me. My parents had it , but not me . Never! And if I had a fight with a guy , I would be gone the next day.
• United States
19 Jun 13
@I_am_yours_06 G-d is the reason you met. He let it happen. To put Him in the middle of a battle like marriage is not right. I can and have committed Without the contract/ slavery of marriage.
@arrianne (29)
• Philippines
19 Jun 13
Marriage is so sacred. Yes, people who love each other really go for marriage..and some of them had a broken family and some of them have a better couple life. It is really difficult to make 2 persons who are hating each other enter into marriage. Married couples doesn't mean to say that they are really in love with each other. Some are married because of the business and some of them love each other. In my opinion, as long as the 2 married persons know how to handle their relationship, it would never end up hating. Love, understanding, trust and time are the most important element in marriage.
• United States
19 Jun 13
I would never trust a husband. Or even try to understand why he wanted to marry. Marriage i not for me. I would become a monster. I rather just love.
• China
21 Jul 15
It smacks of marriage being the tomb of love .Not everyone would like them ! I am glad to see you again .Do You come here on regular basis ?
• United States
22 Jul 15
No not anymore I have been very busy offline! It is good to hear from you. How is your granddaughter?
1 person likes this
• China
23 Jul 15
@sarahruthbeth22 Thank you ! You still remember my granddaughter .She will be fourth grade pupil next semester.Sadly ,she has given up learning to play the erhu ,due to the heavy studying load .All the best !
• United States
23 Jul 15
@changjiangzhibin89 Maybe she will rediscover it later! 4th grade! Wow!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jul 15
I agree. This gal right here that started this discussion, "sarahruthbeth22", is one of my oldest, bestest friends here on myLot. It's really the only reason I answered this one. Wish she'd come back. But this is an old post....looks like she hasn't been around in the last couple years. Wouldn't even know how to find her...or tell her the news about myLot...
• United States
20 Jul 15
Hi! I totally forgot about this site1 I have a bettr job and more offline friends. It is nice to be remembered!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jul 15
@sarahruthbeth22 Hey girl! I never expected you to respond. Sounds like myLot will be paying again soon.....so at least stop by and hang out with the old gang whenever you can. Congrats on the new job! I have an online typing job now too....but this is still more fun. Good to see ya, hope to see you around....
1 person likes this
@spuliven (68)
• India
19 Jun 13
Until both partners understand each other.. No marriage will be a war.. It will be like a war in showing love on each other..
• United States
17 Aug 13
@faith2223 I would never want a guy under some spell to be with me. I want him to Really Want me. And as for children, if a guy wants them That badly , he isn't the guy for me.